BIGFOOT WARS-United States-94 Mins. 2014
Directed by Brian T. Jaynes
Written by Andrea Doss, Frederic Doss and Jacob Mauldin
Based on the best-selling book series “Bigfoot War” by Eric S. Brown
I begin this review with a back story. In 2012 I purchased my first, and so far only, Kindle Fire. One of the first books I bought to read with it was Bigfoot War by Eric S. Brown. Then came Bigfoot War 2, Bigfoot War 3 and so on and so on. What I’m trying to say here is that I have read every Bigfoot War book that I can get my hands on and usually with a voraciousness that rivals that of a starving pack of wolves. I became friends with Eric S. Brown on Facebook and have interviewed him for Written in Blood and watched as he chronicled his happiness at his work being adapted for the movie screen. There’s just one problem: after seeing Bigfoot Wars (why there was a need to add the ‘s’ to the end I do not know) for myself I find that even if I could I cannot share that happiness with him.
Bigfoot War the book is about a town that is besieged by a bunch of the biggest, meanest and most all-fire ill-tempered Sasquatch that you are ever likely to encounter. Human bodies are decapitated, dismembered and all around messed up and the mayhem is certainly not one-sided as the humans exact their pound of flesh from the hirsute beasts. The book is a gory, action-filled affair that never lets up from the word ‘go’ and if I remember correctly I read it in one sitting and was hungry for more.
Bigfoot Wars, the movie based on Bigfoot War, is a mess of a film that suffers from wooden acting, cookie cutter characters (the drug-addled doctor; the wily hillbilly hunter) and quite possibly the worst screenplay in the history of the movies. Bigfoot Wars is a result of what I call The Howling syndrome. Allow me to explain: The Howling was based on a book of the same title by Gary Brandner. When Brandner went to a screening of the movie he said that, aside from werewolves, there was nothing of his book up there on that screen. That was actually a good thing since the movie was more entertaining to watch than the book was to read. It’s just the opposite with Bigfoot War/Bigfoot Wars; there are Bigfoot in the movie and that’s about all that remains of Brown’s book and the movie is much the poorer for it. Bigfoot Wars is not about a town besieged by Sasquatch; it is about Bigfoot kidnapping women so they can get jiggy with them and about a sheriff who must rescue his daughter from the hairy lotharios before they can do the Bigfoot bop with her.
My question about the screenplay is why did Andrea Doss, Frederic Doss and Jacob Mauldin feel the need to make these changes to the story? What was wrong with the premise of the book? Why all the nudity and profanity? With his book Eric S. Brown used little if any swearing and I don’t recall there being any sexual activity whatsoever. I’m not a prude, don’t get me wrong. I do swear on occasion and I have been known to look at a nude female body on the internet from time to time. I guess my main point that I am trying to make about Bigfoot Wars is that if it wasn’t broke in the first place then why try to fix it?
C. Thomas Howell also appears in The Amazing Spider-man and Red Dawn (1984).
Judd Nelson also appears in Haunting of the Innocent and St. Elmo’s Fire.
Holt Boggs also appears in The Prodigy and The Cursed.