Those of you who will be happy to know will be happy to know that there is finally a trailer for Monsters director Gareth Edwards remake (reboot? rehash?) of Godzilla, coming to theaters in May, 2014. We’ve had posters:
A somewhat teasing photo:
and now, finally, a trailer. Watch; and after the break I will give my take on what appears to be happening in the 2:14 second clip. Remember, this is just a trailer and not the final product; so I may be off on a few things. Enjoy.
Okay, first we see some Army guy played by David Straithairn (Dolores Claiborne) giving a pep talk to a bunch more army guys with helmets and parachutes and glow sticks. Hey, wait a minute. Is that…it is…its Dave Lizewski! It’s Kick-Ass! Kick-Ass is going to fight Godzilla! Be still my beating heart. Oh my goodness Kick-Ass and those army guys are going to jump right on top of Godzilla and beat him to death with those glow sticks. This is awesome already!
Next we see some guy with his back to the camera running down some hallway or something. Who is this guy? Well, slap a bra on me and call me Betty; it’s Walter White! Heisenberg didn’t die after all! But what is he running for? Oh, I get it; he’s got a new meth lab and he wants to make sure that Godzilla doesn’t step on it before he gets Blue Sky back out on the streets. Word of advice to you, Walter: make Godzilla a 50-50 partner.
Next we see Elizabeth Olsen (Silent House, Martha Marcy May Marlene) holding some kid and looking terrified. I don’t know if it’s her kid or not: I figure she’s trying to find her three sisters Mary, Kate and Ashley before Godzilla uses them to pick his teeth.
Among all this we have some shots of fiery explosions, the military, and a big hole in a building a la Star Trek: Into Darkness; and finally we have a shot of Godzilla as he rises from the wreckage with a mighty roar which, when translated, means “BRING ME THE HEADS OF EMMERICH AND DEVLIN!!!”
There you have it; my take on the new Godzilla trailer. Do you think I was close? Probably not.
- Oh Look, It’s The First Trailer For ‘Godzilla’! (dayandadream.com)
- Godzilla – Official Teaser Trailer (tiredbees.com)
- We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Jaeger. The Godzilla Trailer Is Here (nerdarena.com)
- Entertainment › First trailer of Hollywood remake of Godzilla released (japantoday.com)
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- New International Trailer & TV Spot From Godzilla (emileeid.com)
- GODZILLA Teaser Trailer Is Here To Stomp Your City (badassdigest.com)
- Trailer: Godzilla (Teaser) (unobtainium13.com)
- Godzilla – Official Trailer (coolmaterial.com)
- First Look: Godzilla (brickmoviereviews.wordpress.com)
Directed by Jim Wynorski
Screenplay by R.J. Robertson and Jim Wynorski
Let’s get this part out of the way nice and quick:
This is Traci Lords’ first legit movie after having appeared in over 60 pornographic films all while being underage.
She is naked in the film.
She looks good naked.
She looks good in a blue bikini.
Let’s move on.
A spaceship crash lands on Earth and almost immediately the occupant, in a black suit, fedora hat and sunglasses, is draining the blood of a bubble-headed blonde bimbo he finds bopping her boyfriend in the backseat of a big car. Cut to a doctor’s office; the nurse Nadine (Traci Lords, Excision, Crazy Eights) is speaking with a walk-in patient wearing, you guessed it, a black suit, fedora hat and sunglasses. Only now he’s calling himself Mr. Johnson (Arthur Roberts, Chopping Mall, Big Bad Mama II) and he’s demanding a blood transfusion and he’s willing to use hypnotic powers to get it. That, or can he hire Nadine for $2000 a week to be his live in Nurse and make sure that he doesn’t die. Nadine meets Jeremy (Lenny Juliano, Vampirella, and The Bare Wench Project), an ex-con and Johnson’s chauffeur and go-fer. Between Nadine, Jeremy and Harry (Roger Lodge, Tammy and the T-Rex, Temptress), Nadine’s cop boyfriend; the three of them figure out that something fishy is going on in a house where hookers come but never leave and people are seen leaving that never entered in the first place. Could Mr. Johnson be a-shudder-space vampire from another the Davanna? Yes. Could he be sent here because his world is near destruction? Yes. Could he be here to see here to see if his people can live on our planet and suck the blood out of all our hookers? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Okay, I just re-read that last part and it sounded ridiculous; which is a good thing. As ridiculous as the plot summary of Not of This Earth sounds; it is nowhere near as ridiculous as the actual movie. Not of This Earth is what you would call a ‘B’ movie; Bad Writing, Bad Directing, Bad Acting, Just Plain Bad. Oh wait, I forgot Boobs, which are never Bad. So why the hell did I like Not of This Earth if it’s as bad as say it is? It’s because there is never one frame of this movie that takes itself seriously. This is a movie that knows beyond of a shadow of a doubt that it is pure-t shit and it’s damn proud of being just that. What do you expect from a film that’s produced by the legendary schlockmeister himself, Roger Corman and is directed by Jim Wynorski (The Return of Swamp Thing, Dinosaur Island)? Not of This Earth gets my vote as one of the coolest bad movies of the 1980′s.
The opening credits feature a montage of clips from various other Roger Corman movies, including Battle Beyond the Stars (1980), Forbidden World (1982), Galaxy of Terror(1981), Humanoids from the Deep (1980), Battle Beyond the Sun (1959) and Piranha(1978). Sample footage from each of these movies appears numerous times throughout the movie as filler footage, as well as two full-length scenes from Hollywood Boulevard(1976) and “Humanoids from the Deep”.
Director Jim Wynorski made a bet with Roger Corman that he could shoot the movie in twelve days. Wynorski finished the film in eleven and a half days.
Arthur Roberts wore his own clothes.
Roger Lodge scratched Jim Wynorski’s car on the first day of shooting the movie.
- Sorority House Massacre II (1990) (trashsuicidedoll.wordpress.com)
- PBS NOW: The Earth Debate (jsiegelblog.wordpress.com)
- Screenings (lifeofedgarpoe.wordpress.com)
- The Dead Have Ruled The Earth For 200 Years (horroraddicts.wordpress.com)
- The Mondo Vixen Massacre is HERE (eyeslitcrypt.wordpress.com)
- Chopping Mall Looking for a Theatrical Re-Release (dreadcentral.com)
- Invasive mudsnails threaten trout in Black Earth Creek (host.madison.com)
- Nordling Recaps BNAT 15! (aintitcool.com)
- It’s official: the coldest place on Earth (ndtv.com)
- ‘Crab Monsters, Teenage Cavemen, and Candy Stripe Nurses’ (nytimes.com)
Lyle Blackburn is the author of The Beast of Boggy Creek: The True Story of The Fouke Monster; and Lizardman: The True Story of the Bishopville Monster. Having recently read The Beast of Boggy Creek, I decided to look Lyle up to find out if I could get a little Q and A time; of which he graciously accepted. I talked with Lyle about the book, about the Fouke monster and about his band, Ghoultown. Here now is 10 Questions with Lyle Blackburn.
My mother used to take me to the Disney ‘outdoor adventure’ films that were popular in the 1970’s. Before one particular feature there was a documentary on Bigfoot that showed the footage from the Patterson-Gimlin film. After that, I was hooked. Do you remember your first foray into the world of cryptozoology?
I can remember watching shows in the 1970s like In Search of… where I saw glimpses of the Patterson-Gimlin film. I also got a few “Strange but True” kind of books in elementary school which had stories of Bigfoot, Yeti, and the Loch Ness Monster. That was my earliest encounters with cryptids.
Did you ever imagine that the legend of the Fouke monster would go beyond the 1970’s and well into the 2000’s like it has done?
I sure didn’t. When I started doing intensive research on the subject several years ago, I was still under the impression that I was going to be writing a book that totally took place in the past. Like many others, I was surprised to find that encounters with the creature had continued all along, but just weren’t made accessible to the general public or to fans of The Legend of Boggy Creek movie.
I remember having a conversation with a co-worker a couple of years ago about the Fouke monster and he was adamant to the point of nearly starting a fight that it or any other form of Bigfoot does not exist. Have you ever met with that kind of hostility from non-believers or even believers for that matter?
Surprisingly, I’ve never had single person show hostility or even make fun of my interest in the subject; at least not to my face, anyway.
What was the reaction from your friends and family when you told them you were writing a book about the Fouke monster?
None of my friends were that surprised. Everyone that knows me, knows that I’ve always been into monsters, whether it’s the kind from horror movies or the kind that stalks our forests and waterways. My family has never been able to relate to what I do, so to them it’s just another form of weirdness like being in a rock band for so many years.
Speaking of being in a band, it says in the ‘About the Author’ section of the book that your band, Ghoultown, has appeared on several horror film soundtracks; which ones?
American Nightmare, Hallows End, and most recently, Bone Boys, which was produced by Kim Henkel, creator of the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Also, our song “Mistress of the Dark” was featured on Elvira’s Gravest Hits CD and the video was part of her Movie Macabre DVD series.
In the film The Legend of Boggy Creek the creature is depicted as menacing and aggressive; there have been sightings that have supported this nature and also sightings that depict the Fouke monster as an elusive being that prefers to be left alone. If you could hazard a guess what would you say is the true nature of the beast?
I know the Fouke Monster gets a bad rap for being aggressive at times, but I don’t think it’s all these creatures are capable of. Like you say, there’ve been plenty of sightings that show them as being reclusive and non-hostile. So I suppose they would be like any other animal. If they feel provoked or threatened in some way, they might show aggression. But mostly they are just trying to steer clear of humans, which is probably a wise thing to do.
In your book The Beast of Boggy Creek you write that you have never seen the creature despite having visited many of the locations where sightings have occurred. Supposing you did see it; what would you do?
I always joke and say that I would run up and hug the creature. But in reality, it’s hard to say what I would do. After talking to so many witnesses, I know that it’s one of those experiences that you can’t really predict how you will react until that moment. I’m generally not afraid of anything in the woods, since I consider myself an experienced and well-prepared outdoorsman, but if I were to come face-to-face with a man-like ape that most people say cannot exist, I’m sure it would be a life-changing experience. I guess that’s one reason I go into remote areas in search of these creatures.
Continuing the line of questioning from the last; would you use the experience to prove the existence of the monster; or would you keep it to yourself?
I’m sure I would write about the experience in a future book, so I would make it public. But unless I had some kind of irrefutable hard evidence to back up my sighting, then the description of my visual encounter would merely be another anecdotal account in the long history of Bigfoot.
Do you have plans for future cryptozoological books; are there any creatures besides the Fouke monster that you have your eyes on?
I’m debating several book ideas right now. Some of them are cryptozoology and some of them are not. I’m not sure yet which direction I will go.
Lyle, I appreciate you taking the time to do this. Is there anything you’d like to say to the folks out there before we wrap up?
Thanks for the great feedback and support. It’s fun to research and write books about mysterious monsters, so it’s a real bonus when I know that people out there are enjoying them.
You can purchase The Beast of Boggy Creek and/or Lizardman at Lyle Blackburn: Author, Cryptozoologist, Musician You can also visit Fouke Monster: The Beast and Legend of Boggy Creek.
Lyle will be appearing December 14 at Weird West Fest in Giddings, Texas.
- This Week On ‘Beyond The Edge’ Radio: Lyle Blackburn – Cryptozoologist / Author ‘Lizard Man: The True Story of the Bishopville Monster’ (alternativenewsalert.com)
- FINDING BIGFOOT Leaves Boggy Creek Fouke Monster a Legend (tvruckus.com)
- Lyle Blackburn – ‘Lizard Man: The True Story of the Bishopville Monster’ (alternativenewsalert.com)
- Chronicle of the Lizard Man (Book Review) (idoubtit.wordpress.com)
- Lyle Blackburn on ‘Finding Bigfoot’ (disinfo.com)
- Lyle Blackburn on ‘Finding Bigfoot’ (rinf.com)
- Animal Planet’s “Finding Bigfoot” returns to Fouke (arktimes.com)
- FINDING BIGFOOT Searches for Yeti, Yeren in China, Nepal This Season! (tvruckus.com)
- FINDING BIGFOOT Launches New Season with All-Day Marathon Today! (tvruckus.com)
- Childhood Fears (cagraham68.wordpress.com)
Directed and written by Chad Crawford Kinkle
You’re going to have to bear with me for this one; it’s going to take a lot of explaining. I shall begin at the beginning; we see a young girl, Ada (Lauren Ashley Carter, The Woman, Premium Rush) in a sexual liaison with a young man, Jessaby (Daniel Manche, The Girl Next Door, I Sell the Dead). Later, we find out that Ada has been chosen by Bodey (Mathieu Whitman) to be his wife and be the mother of his children. She just has to be pure, that is all. Refer to the part about her fornicating with Jessaby and you’ll have the answer to that one. What we haven’t found out up to this moment is that Jessaby is her brother. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are talking some backwoods shenanigans going on here.
Meanwhile, Dawai (Sean Bridgers, The Woman, Sweet Home Alabama), a simpleton, is spinning a jug out on his potter’s wheel. This is where it gets weird; as if incest wasn’t weird enough. There is a place called the Pit and there is a creature in the Pit that heals the people as long as it gets what it wants and what it wants is a sacrifice every now and then. The way the people know who to sacrifice to the pit is through Dawai; the Pit gives him a face and he makes a jug. Whoever’s face is on the jug is sacrificed to the Pit. This time the face on the Jug is Ada’s. Ada finds the jug and hides it; thereby angering the Pit. “The Pit wants what it wants”, she hears continually from Loriss (Sean Young, Blade Runner, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) and Sustin (Larry Fessenden, Habit, We Are What We Are), her mother and the keeper of the Pit, respectively. Pretty soon Ada is seeing the smoky apparition of a boy and seeing through the Pit’s eyes who it intends to take until she comes forward and makes things right by taking her position as the next sacrifice. End of story; or at least as much as I am willing to tell you.
Aside from the incest and the strange religious beliefs of the backwoods characters in Jug Face, the thing that I found weirdest of all was that I actually liked the movie. I liked the flow of the film and the cadence of the speech of the characters. I liked the redneck drama and the subtle moments of gore when the Pit would take someone. Jug Face isn’t a classic film; hell, it’s not even a great movie. The plot of the film fills the movie nicely; but the length of Jug Face (81 Minutes) makes it seem more like an extended episode of a TV show than that of a motion picture. Still, the acting is good and we get to see a mini-reunion of actors who have appeared in films either based on books by Jack Ketchum (The Woman, The Girl Next Door) or directed by Lucky McKee (The Woman). Just for that fact alone raises my appreciation for Jug Face. If only it didn’t have that ‘incest is best, put your sister to the test’ thing going for it.
Potter and sculptor, Jason Mahlke, designed and created the Face Jugs for the film.
- Holy smokes, face jugs, tumbled glass and desert wood! (maryannhendrickson.wordpress.com)
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It seems like everywhere you look someone is doing a mashup these days. For those of you who don’t know what a mashup is then allow me to explain. A mashup is when you take two or more things, i.e. books, movies, music or what have you. and put them together into one thing. It’s that simple! For instance, have you ever wondered what it would be like to combine classic Star Trek with Bonanza? How about Flash Gordon with the Aliens franchise? The possibilities are endless!
Daryl Wor has thought long and hard about mashups. A devoted Dark Shadows fan, she is the one-woman show that runs the podcast The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows
A show of darkness with a lot of heart, plenty of chuckles made both of metaphors and bad puns. As Dark Shadows lifted story lines from a zillion old books of the Gothic variety, what would it be like if they shared time with the current classics? And what if these newer characters could help them lift all the curses? (Contains intros delving into the writing process as well as information and commentary about the various programs and key players.)
From Daryl Wor:
So, The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is a condensed re-write of the old 1960′s series Dark Shadows.However, it incorporates a ton of other shows and films, mostly from the 1960′s to help get all the characters into a resolved state so they’ll eventually still be spooky, but working together rather than eating each other alive all the time.
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Directed by Ben Wheatley
Written by Amy Jump and Ben Wheatley
What the bloody hell did I just witness? Aside from his contribution to The ABC’s of Death (U is for Unearthed), this is my first trip into the cinematic world of Ben Wheatley (A Field in England, Sightseers). If Kill List is any indication of Mr. Wheatley’s world, then it is a violent world indeed. The film is a mash-up of family drama, criminal violence and psychological horror unlike any film I’ve seen in quite some time.
Nearly a year after an unspecified mission in Kiev, former soldier Jay (Neil Maskell, Atonement, Basic Instinct 2) and his wife Shel (Myanna Buring, The Descent, Devil’s Playground) have run out of money and are struggling to make ends meet for themselves and for their seven year-old son. When Gal (Michael Smiley, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, The World’s End), also a former soldier and his girlfriend Fiona (Emma Fryer) join Jay and Shel for dinner, Gal offers him a job which he is encouraged to take by Shel. On a side note, be sure to pay close attention to Fiona when she excuses herself to use the restroom.
The two of them meet their client (Struan Rodger, Stardust) and the deal is literally signed in blood, namely Jay’s and the client’s. The client gives them a list of three people that they are to kill. The occupations of each kill are flashed in bold white letters on a black background across the screen and are as follows: The Priest, The Librarian and The M.P. (Member of Parliament). The Priest seems to recognize Jay before being shot; and the Librarian, a child pornographer, continually thanks him as he methodically smashes his knees, his hands and finally his head in with a hammer. As for the final client, The M.P. the only thing I will say is that the film takes a hard left from being merely about two contract killers and into the world of paganism and ritual sacrifice. The ending of Kill List cannot be described with great ease; it must be seen to be believed.
Kill List starts off slow and it doesn’t pick up much speed as it progresses. It doesn’t have to; it unravels like a cold snake and works its way deep down into your psyche. My only complaint, and it is a minor one, is that the characters accents are so thick that I nearly turned on the sub-titles despite the fact that they were speaking English! Aside from that, Kill List is as far from ordinary as you can hope for. If this is any indication of Ben Wheatley’s world then I think I’m going to like it here. It’s a bloody day in the neighborhood, a bloody day in the neighborhood.
Wilhelm Scream: When Gal fires his shotgun at the masked pursuers just after the hanging.
- Film Series/ Director Series/ Ben Wheatley/ “Kill List” (theworkprintedition.wordpress.com)
- Sightseers – Review (blogtheblummindoorsoff.wordpress.com)
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- Film Review | A Field in England (thejournalist.ie)
Wolfman’s got nards!
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- Horace – Thursday 5th December 2013 (mirror.co.uk)
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V/H/S/2-United States/Canada/Indonesia-96 Mins. 2013
A pair of private investigators is hired to find a missing student. They go to his house and find a video tapes with the content of each tape being more shocking than the previous one. Welcome to V/H/S/2; one of those anthology films that forces me as a reviewer to watch an installment, review it, go on to the next and repeat the process all over again. So, do you want to come along for the ride? Of course you do; I have candy.
Phase 1 Clinical Trials
Directed by Adam Wingard
Written by Simon Barrett
Director Adam Wingard (A Horrible Way to Die, You’re Next) is Herman. After an auto accident, Herman becomes the owner of a fully functional prosthetic eye. Make that almost fully functional since there are a few glitches to be ironed out. There’s also the downer of the creators of the eye seeing and recording Herman’s every move. If he thought it was hard to find time to flog the bishop before, well then. The ‘glitches’ include the haleyjoelosmentsian talent of seeing creepy dead people in his home. He meets Clarissa (Hannah Hughes, Pop Skull), who explains it all and has a very ‘unique’ way of getting rid of the apparitions. Phase 1 Clinical Trials is effectively creepy with the right mix of humor and makes for a satisfying start to V/H/S/2.
A Ride in the Park
Directed by Edúardo Sanchez and Gregg Hale
Written by Edúardo Sanchez and Jamie Nash
Jay Saunders (Ninjas vs. Vampires) is enjoying a bike ride when the zombie apocalypse breaks out and he becomes a member of the walking dead. Make that the riding dead. Thanks to helmet cam the segment is told almost entirely from first person point of view. Zombie gore and mayhem and not very much else ensue in this tale written and directed by Edúardo Sanchez (Altered, the upcoming Exists) and co-directed by Gregg Hale (Say Yes Quickly). It’s a fun segment; it just doesn’t bring anything new to the zombie dinner table.
Directed and written by Timo Tjahjanto and Gareth Huw Evans
David Koresh and Marshall Applewhite would have been proud of this segment from Timo Tjahjanto (Macabre) and Gareth Huw Evans (The Raid: Redemption) about a cult leader being interviewed by a camera crew amid allegations that he is having sex with children to ‘purify’ them to make them ready for whatever typical, twisted view of Heaven is loose inside his screwed-up brain. So far, Safe Haven is the goriest segment of V/H/S/2 and the most satisfying for horror fans. There’s everything in here from crazy cultists, mass suicides and a creature that is clearly inspired by both the Minotaur and the Jersey Devil. Some dialogue will make you feel like you need a shower afterwards but that’s okay; you’ll need one to wash all the blood and bits of brain off of you anyway.
Slumber Party Alien Abduction
Directed by Jason Eisener
Written by Jason Eisener and John Davies
Before I even watched this final segment I knew that it had the best title out of the four segments. It also has the most obvious title as that is exactly what it is about. Aliens invade a slumber party with the intent of abducting as many of the kids as possible. Obviously these are the special-education aliens who flunked the class that teaches that it’s more fun to blow up the world Independence Day style than it is Shyamalan’s Signs fashion. Aside from director Jason Eisener (Hobo with a Shotgun, Treevenge) I was unfamiliar with any of the rest of the cast and therefore could have cared less what happened to them. Slumber Party Alien Abduction boasts the loudest and therefore most annoying soundtrack which barely draws your attention away from the terrible acting. Best title also equals worst segment.
Looking back I discovered that I gave the original V/H/S an overall rating of . Doing the math and with that unsatisfied feeling gnawing at my gut I find that V/H/S/2 does not fare nearly as well. The film’s original title was S-VHS before being changed. That makes me wonder if the filmmakers didn’t know something all along.
- Braided Barrettes (birthdayinabox.com)
- Shoelace & Balloon Barrettes (birthdayinabox.com)
- Competition – Win V/H/S 2 On DVD (thepeoplesmovies.com)
- UK Readers: Win a Copy of V/H/S/2 on DVD! (dreadcentral.com)
- SXSW 2013 Interview: The Filmmakers of V/H/S 2 (shockya.com)
- V/H/S/2 Captures New Scares in Frightening New Stills (shockya.com)
- Ambush Bug counts down the best horror films on AICN HORROR since last Halloween – Number 18!!! (aintitcool.com)
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- 29 Days ‘Til Halloween – V/H/S/2 (revpatrikios.wordpress.com)
- S-vhs (whyamimrpink.wordpress.com)
From The Legend of Boggy Creek and featuring Vern Stierman as the Narrator:
I was 7 years old when I first heard him scream. It scared me then and it scares me now.
- FINDING BIGFOOT Launches New Season with All-Day Marathon Today! (tvruckus.com)
- Forget about Hollywood mainstream horror: Five horror films that you must not miss (yourpopcorner.wordpress.com)
- What are the best horror movies of all time? (macombdaily.com)
- FINDING BIGFOOT Leaves Boggy Creek Fouke Monster a Legend (tvruckus.com)
- Childhood Fears (cagraham68.wordpress.com)
- The Films of the Fest (tucsonweekly.com)
- Semi crash closes Cornelius Pass Rd. near Hwy 30 (kgw.com)
- Chronicle of the Lizard Man (Book Review) (idoubtit.wordpress.com)