THE SEMI-DAILY HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY-JANUARY 22, 2015

From Misery and featuring Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes:

Misery

“I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan.”

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ALT-POSTR-SPOTLIGHT: CLIVE BARKER’S HELLRAISER

By request of Alex at the Official Site of Alex Laybourne-Author

ALT-POSTR-SPOTLIGHT: CLIVE BARKER’S HELLRAISER

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

Ashley Thorp

Ashley Thorp

Christopher Ott

Christopher Ott

chungkong-art

chungkong-art

Edward J Moran

Edward J Moran

fauxster

fauxster

Florian Bertmer

Florian Bertmer

kal al-d527h6a

kal al-d527h6a

killerincdesigns

killerincdesigns

Lizzie Campbell

Lizzie Campbell

Mark Welser

Mark Welser

spikeghost

spikeghost

Studiohouse Designs

Studiohouse Designs

VisHuS702

VisHuS702

If you have a request for ALT-POSTR-SPOTLIGHT let me know in the comments and I will do my best to fulfill it.

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WHAT’S THEIR BEST FILM?: ALEXANDRE AJA

In the last installment of What’s Their Best Film? you fantastic voters were right on top of it in picking The Thing (1982) as John Carpenter’s best film.

The director I chose this week has a somwhat smaller filmography than Mr. Carpenters. Don’t forget to vote in the poll after the posters.

WHAT’S THEIR BEST FILM?: ALEXANDRE AJA

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Happy Voting!

 

 

 

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TUSK: WHY DON’T YOU ASK HIM WHAT’S GOING ON?

TUSK-United States/Canada-102 Mins. 2014

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Michael Parks as Howard Howe in Tusk

Michael Parks as Howard Howe in Tusk

Justin Long as Wallace Bryton in Tusk

Justin Long as Wallace Bryton in Tusk

Haley Joel Osment as Teddy Craft in Tusk

Haley Joel Osment as Teddy Craft in Tusk

Genesis Rodriguez as Ally Leon in Tusk

Genesis Rodriguez as Ally Leon in Tusk

Directed and Written by Kevin Smith

The smartest thing that director Kevin Smith has done as a filmmaker is the casting of Michael Parks in his movies. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the man is capable of any role and that with age and an extensive filmography he improves like fine wine or a tasty six-pack of beer, perhaps.

Now, on to Tusk

Wallace Bryton is the co-host-along with Teddy Craft-of a podcast known as the The Not-See Party (get it?). You know the type of podcast: an hour or more of the hosts laughing at their own bad jokes accompanied by the ridicule by said hosts of videos found on the internet of people doing weird shit just to make themselves famous for their alloted 15 minutes. For instance there is the Kill Bill Kid; he’s like the Star Wars Kid only instead of a toy lightsaber he has a sword that he screws around with and thereby severs his own leg. When Wallace travels to Canada to interview the Kill Bill Kid he discovers that he has killed himself with his own sword two days prior to their appointed discussion. Pissed off and left without an interview Wallace retreats to a local bar where he discovers a note on the men’s room wall promising free room and board and a lifetime of interesting stories. After contacting the author of the note, Howard Howe, Wallace sets up an interview and travels to Howe’s home in Manitoba. Upon arriving Howe offers Wallace hot tea and fills him with stories of D-Day and Ernest Hemingway. Howe tells him of the time that he was lost at sea and of the walrus that saved his life; a walrus he respectfully has named ‘Mr. Tusk’. As Wallace listens his eyes get heavier and it is in this part of the review that I should remind everyone that if you take a beverage from someone that you have never met in your entire life that it is more than likely drugged and you are an idiot for accepting it. One secobarbital-laced tea later and Wallace awakens in a stupor and with one leg amputated. By now I assume that you have all surmised that Howard Howe is a tad bit on the side of crazy. Just how crazy we soon discover as he takes Wallace through a physical transformation from man to walrus. Yes, you read that last sentence correctly; Howe surgically transforms Wallace into a human walrus. Let’s not argue the logostics of that; just know that there is no ATM involved. We’re all adults here; so I think it’s safe to say that most what ATM means. However, if any small children are reading this I suggest you tell them it stands for Automated Teller Machine.

I like to think of Tusk as Kevin Smith’s The Human Centipede with two notable differences. The main one being that in The Human Centipede I had sympathy for the victims and was happy to see Dr. Heiter take a bullet. With Tusk it is not so much that my empathy is with Howard Howe; I simply am of the opinion that Wallace Bryton is an obnoxious douchebag who likes to hear the sound of his own voice and will not shut the hell up long enough to appreciate what someone else is saying. In flashbacks we see Wallace with his girlfriend Ally, a beauty if there ever was one, and we are not surprised to find out that he cheats on her with various podcast groupies that he meets on his travels. Although I saw no romantic chemistry between Ally and Teddy it is no surprise when she turns to him for solace. Wallace takes away a person’s humanity and therefore has his own humanity rightfully taken from him.

The other difference between Tusk and The Human Centipede is that Tusk knows when to be serious and when to be full of crap and it seldom crosses the line between the two. This is a Kevin Smith movie; of that there is no doubt. Like Clerks, Smith touches on the subject of infidelity with Bryton’s two-timing of Ally. There are the expected references to Jaws and Star Wars and Smith even plays the nepotism card once more by casting his daughter Harley Quinn Smith (alongside Johnny Depp’s daughter Lily Rose) as convenience store clerks. Also, for those of you who have a keen ear and a good eye you will recognize a Hollywood A-lister under that makeup as alcoholic ex-cop Guy Lapointe. I’m still not convinced that the inclusion of the Lapointe character was a good one; the actor playing the part is good but the character himself is annoying as hell and it drags the film down when Lapointe is onscreen.

I liked Tusk. It’s moderately funny, mildly frightening and completely stupid. In other words it’s what I’ve come to expect from a Kevin Smith movie: 90 plus minutes on the inhuman human condition with a few dick and fart jokes thrown in for good measure.

TRIVIA

The movie was shot in 15 days.

The first film in Kevin Smith’s Canada-based trilogy. The second film will be Yoga Hosers (2015), based on Smodcast episode #288. The final installment will be Moose Jaws (2016).

Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughters play clerks. Clerks (1994) launched Kevin Smith’s career as a movie director and script writer.

The idea for the movie came during the recording of “SModcast 259: The Walrus and The Carpenter.” Smith with his longtime friend and producer Scott Mosier discussed an article featuring a Gumtree ad where a homeowner was offering free room and board if the lodger agreed to dress as a walrus. The hosts spent almost an hour of the episode reconstructing and telling a hypothetical story based on the ad. Smith then told his Twitter followers to tweet “#WalrusYes” if they wanted to see their hypothetical story turned into a film, or “#WalrusNo” if they didn’t. The vast majority of Smith’s followers agreed that the film should be made. The post turned out to be a prank by Brighton poet and prankster Chris Parkinson, a fan of Smith who hoped to get in touch with him. Kevin Smith eventually hired Parkinson as a producer.

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Michael Parks also appears in From Dusk Till Dawn and Red State.

Justin Long also appears in Drag Me to Hell and Jeepers Creepers.

Haley Joel Osment also appears in The Sixth Sense and Sex Ed.

Genesis Rodriguez also appears in Big Hero 6 and Man on a Ledge.

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THE SEMI-DAILY HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY-JANUARY 14, 2015

From Horns and featuring Daniel Radcliffe as Ig Perrish:

HORNS

People say you should always do the right thing, but sometimes there is no right thing. And then, you just have to pick the sin you can live with.

 

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ALT-POSTR-SPOTLIGHT: PREDATOR

For Tim over at Tim’s Film Reviews.

PREDATOR

Anthony Petrie

Anthony Petrie

Ash Thorp

Ash Thorp

Craig Drake

Craig Drake

Daniel Nash

Daniel Nash

Derek Ring (abnormalbrain)

Derek Ring (abnormalbrain)

GodMachine

GodMachine

James White

James White

Ken Taylor

Ken Taylor

MalevolentNate

MalevolentNate

Matt Ferguson

Matt Ferguson

thenota

thenota

Tom Whalen and Dave Perillo

Tom Whalen and Dave Perillo

Travis Pitt

Travis Pitt

As always if you have a request let me know in the comments and I will see what I can do.

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HORNS IS A DEVILISH WHODUNIT

HORNS-United States/Canada-120 Mins. 2013

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Daniel Radcliffe as Ig Perrish in Horns

Daniel Radcliffe as Ig Perrish in Horns

Max Minghella as Lee Tourneau in Horns

Max Minghella as Lee Tourneau in Horns

Joe Anderson as Terry Perrish in Horns

Joe Anderson as Terry Perrish in Horns

Juno Temple as Merrin Williams in Horns

Juno Temple as Merrin Williams in Horns

Kelli Garner as Glenna Shepherd in Horns

Kelli Garner as Glenna Shepherd in Horns

James Remar as Derrick Perrish in Horns

James Remar as Derrick Perrish in Horns

Kathleen Quinlan as Lydia Perrish in Horns

Kathleen Quinlan as Lydia Perrish in Horns

Heather Graham as Veronica in Horns

Heather Graham as Veronica in Horns

David Morse as Dale Williams in Horns

David Morse as Dale Williams in Horns

Directed by Alexandre Aja

Screenplay by Keith Bunin

Based on the novel by Joe Hill

Blamed for the murder of his girlfriend, Ig Perrish wakes up one morning to find a set of horns growing out of the sides of his head. That’s not the strangest occurrence in Horns; the strangest is that anyone Ig comes into contact with has an overwhelming urge to tell him their deepest sins or their darkest desires. Ig uses this to his advantage in an attempt to find the real killer and to clear his name.

I viewed Horns as a supernatural whodunit. I view the horns on Ig’s head as his partner as he shakes down anyone involved in making him look guilty or keeping him from finding out the truth. Does he actually find the killer? All I will tell you is to read the book or see the movie because I don’t have the urge to divulge that information.

Horns is based on the book by Joe Hill. If you have no idea who Hill is I will give you a great big hint: his dad wrote “Carrie”. I can understand why Hill doesn’t play the nepotism card; he wants to have his own voice separate from his famous father and, having read “Horns”, I can honestly say that he does. I read it quickly and enjoyed it immensely.

Daniel Radcliffe does a fine job as Ig Perrish and is pretty much how I pictured him in the novel. Juno Temple is a red-haired beauty in flashbacks as the murdered girlfriend Merrin Williams. Max Minghella is slimy charm as Ig’s friend and lawyer, Lee Tourneau. The rest of the supporting cast including James Remar, Joe Anderson and Kathleen Quinlan hit their marks just right in this one.

Horns does have it’s flaws. I felt that key elements were left out of the screenplay and it felt like the pacing of the film was off kilter at times because of it. There were also a couple of moments where the effects practically screamed, “Hey! We’re CGI!” before slipping back into fantasy. All that aside I feel that I should tell you to give the movie a chance. It’s not a great movie by any means but it certainly doesn’t suck, either.

TRIVIA

Shia LaBeouf was originally cast in the lead role but he was replaced with Daniel Radcliffe.

The diner Ig takes Merrin to is named “Eve’s diner”, and it’s sign is a big apple. Refering to the forbidden apple of Eden that Eve ate and caused man to be casted out of Eden. It’s also where Ig first encounters the snake.

While filming in Canada, Daniel Radcliffe accidentally drank non potable water from his sink tap in his trailer. Unknown to him the water was mixed with antifreeze to prevent freezing. Daniel was very sick for 3 days because of this.

The car that Ig drives is a Gremlin.

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Daniel Radcliffe also appears in The Woman in Black and Kill Your Darlings.

Max Minghella also appears in The Social Network and The Ides of March.

Joe Anderson also appears in The Grey and The Crazies.

Juno Temple also appears in Killer Joe and The Dark Knight Rises.

Kelli Garner also appears in Lars and the Real Girl and G-Force.

James Remar also appears in Django Unchained and The Girl Next Door.

Kathleen Quinlan also appears in The Hills Have Eyes and Apollo 13.

Heather Graham also appears in From Hell and Boogie Nights.

David Morse also appears in The Green Mile and The Hurt Locker.

 

 

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