BIGFOOT WARS IS BASED ON THE BOOK BIGFOOT WAR AND THE ‘S’ IS NOT THE ONLY DIFFERENCE.

BIGFOOT WARS-United States-94 Mins. 2014

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C. Thomas  Howell as Zeke in Bigfoot Wars

C. Thomas Howell as Zeke in Bigfoot Wars

Judd Nelson as Dr. Leonard Evans in Bigfoot Wars

Judd Nelson as Dr. Leonard Evans in Bigfoot Wars

 Jim Taylor in Bigfoot Wars

Holt Boggs as Sheriff Jim Taylor in Bigfoot Wars

Directed by Brian T. Jaynes

Written by Andrea Doss, Frederic Doss and Jacob Mauldin

Based on the best-selling book series “Bigfoot War” by Eric S. Brown

I begin this review with a back story. In 2012 I  purchased my first, and so far only, Kindle Fire. One of the first books I bought to read with it was Bigfoot War by Eric S. Brown. Then came Bigfoot War 2, Bigfoot War 3 and so on and so on. What I’m trying to say here is that I have read every Bigfoot War book that I can get my hands on and usually with a voraciousness that rivals that of a starving pack of wolves. I became friends with Eric S. Brown on Facebook and have interviewed him for Written in Blood and watched as he chronicled his happiness at his work being adapted for the movie screen. There’s just one problem: after seeing Bigfoot Wars (why there was a need to add the ‘s’ to the end I do not know) for myself I find that even if I could I cannot share that happiness with him.

Bigfoot War the book is about a town that is besieged by a bunch of the biggest, meanest and most all-fire ill-tempered Sasquatch that you are ever likely to encounter. Human bodies are decapitated, dismembered and all around messed up and the mayhem is certainly not one-sided as the humans exact their pound of flesh from the hirsute beasts. The book is a gory, action-filled affair that never lets up from the word ‘go’ and if I remember correctly I read it in one sitting and was hungry for more.

Bigfoot Wars, the movie based on Bigfoot War, is a mess of a film that suffers from wooden acting, cookie cutter characters (the drug-addled doctor; the wily hillbilly hunter) and quite possibly the worst screenplay in the history of the movies. Bigfoot Wars is a result of what I call The Howling syndrome. Allow me to explain: The Howling was based on a book of the same title by Gary Brandner. When Brandner went to a screening of the movie he said that, aside from werewolves, there was nothing of his book up there on that screen. That was actually a good thing since the movie was more entertaining to watch than the book was to read. It’s just the opposite with Bigfoot War/Bigfoot Wars; there are Bigfoot in the movie and that’s about all that remains of Brown’s book and the movie is much the poorer for it. Bigfoot Wars is not about a town besieged by Sasquatch; it is about Bigfoot kidnapping women so they can get jiggy with them and about a sheriff who must rescue his daughter from the hairy lotharios before they can do the Bigfoot bop with her.

My question about the screenplay is why did Andrea Doss, Frederic Doss and Jacob Mauldin feel the need to make these changes to the story? What was wrong with the premise of the book? Why all the nudity and profanity? With his book Eric S. Brown used little if any swearing and I don’t recall there being any sexual activity whatsoever. I’m not a prude, don’t get me wrong. I do swear on occasion and I have been known to look at a nude female body on the internet from time to time. I guess my main point that I am trying to make about Bigfoot Wars is that if it wasn’t broke in the first place then why try to fix it?

NO TRIVIA

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C. Thomas Howell also appears in The Amazing Spider-man and Red Dawn (1984).

Judd Nelson also appears in Haunting of the Innocent and St. Elmo’s Fire.

Holt Boggs also appears in The Prodigy and The Cursed.

 

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BAD KIDS GO TO HELL: JUDD NELSON MUST HAVE REALLY NEEDED THE MONEY

BAD KIDS GO TO HELL-United States-91 Mins. 2012

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Amanda Alch as Megan McDurst in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Amanda Alch as Megan McDurst in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Marc Donato as Tarek Ahmed in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Marc Donato as Tarek Ahmed in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Augie Duke as Veronica Harmon in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Augie Duke as Veronica Harmon in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Roger Edwards (left, with Ali Faulkner) as Craig Cook in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Roger Edwards (left, with Ali Faulkner) as Craig Cook in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Ali Faulkner as Tricia Wilkes in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Ali Faulkner as Tricia Wilkes in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Cameron Deane Stewart as Matt Clark in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Cameron Deane Stewart as Matt Clark in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Ben Browder as Max in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Ben Browder as Max in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Judd Nelson as Headmaster Nash in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Judd Nelson as Headmaster Nash in Bad Kids Go to Hell

Directed by Matthew Spradlin

Written by Matthew Spradlin and Barry Wernick

Whether you have the discs delivered to your home or whether you have a stream-only account or perhaps even both the movie watching possibilities are practically endless with Netflix. Thanks to my streaming account I was able to watch this movie about this diverse group of students who, while spending a day in detention, must put aside their differences (mainly social) and work together toward a common goal. It stars Judd Nelson and it’s called The Breakfas-er-Bad Kids Go to Hell.

I bet I had you fooled there for just a second, huh? Don’t worry; all you have to do is sit through this piece of crap and the entire time you will wonder if the spirit of John Hughes will haunt the filmmakers for the rest of their lives for making this abomination of his beloved film. Okay, so Bad Kids Go to Hell may not be an official remake of The Breakfast Club but for Heaven’s sake the best parts of this movie are near-carbon copy lifts from that film. The only thing that saves it from being a complete plagiaristic affair is that director Matthew Spradlin and writing partner Barry Wernick toss in a supernatural element with a plot about an Indian curse and the spirit’s need for vengeance against the white folk who done him wrong. In other words, not only do Spradlin and Wernick spit in the face of The Breakfast Club but they also give a sandpaper handjob to Poltergeist for good measure. Don’t get me started on the finale of the film; which in itself is an anti-climactic letdown of this disappointing celluloid zero.

Is there anything remotely good that I can say about Bad Kids Go to Hell? I did like Amanda Alch as the nerdy Megan McDurst; even though she exits the film way too early. Aside from that, Bad Kids Go to Hell is an unofficial remake cum rip-off of a movie about a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Only this time the characters are a douchebag, a bitch, another douchebag, another bitch, a female nerd and a foreign nerd. Oh yeah, and lots of cockroaches.

As for Judd Nelson and his role in Bad Kids Go to Hell I have but one question:

Did you really need the money that bad?

TRIVIA

Judd Nelson was cast as Headmaster Nash as an acknowledgment of the similarities between this film and _The Breakfast Club (1984)_. Ironically, the character of John Bender from Breakfast Club is a bad boy, and in this film Judd’s character disciplines bad boys and speaks of them quite harshly.

Amanda Alch, who plays the nerd, Megan, did the classroom strip scene wearing pasties. She then came back after the scene was shot to have her nipples photographed so they could CG her own nipples back on her breasts in post production. So, although people claim that the nudity wasn’t real in the movie, what you see is actually the real thing! The movie’s Twitter account did a funny story about it in April to promote the DVD release.

The movie is based on a best-selling indie comic book series that had fans go to a “You Cast The Movie” section of its website to offer casting suggestions for the movie. Celebrities such as, Ben Browder, Judd Nelson, Marc Donato, Chanel Ryan, and Ali Faulkner, were selected to play roles in the movie, as a result.

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Amanda Alch also appears in This Life and Moon Ring.

Marc Donato also appears in Pay It Forward and The Sweet Hereafter.

Augie Duke also appears in Money Shot and Extracted.

Roger Edwards also appears in Captain Phillips and Exists.

Ali Faulkner also appears in Butcher Boys and Humans versus Zombies.

Cameron Deane Stewart also appears in Pitch Perfect and Dirty Teacher.

Ben Browder also appears in A Killer Within and Nevada.

Judd Nelson also appears in The Breakfast Club and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Posted in 1 Blood Drop Ratings, 2010's Horror Films, Movies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

AFTER THE DEBACLE THAT WAS THE DEVIL INSIDE WILLIAM BRENT BELL REDEEMS HIMSELF WITH WER

WER-United States-89 Mins. 2013

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AJ Cook as Kate Moore Wer

AJ Cook as Kate Moore in Wer

Brian Scott O'Connor mp Dalan Gwynek in power

Brian Scott O’Connor as Talan Gwynek in Wer

Sebastian Roche as Klaus Pistor in Wer

Sebastian Roche as Klaus Pistor in Wer

Simon Quarterman as Gavin Flemyng in Wer

Simon Quarterman as Gavin Flemyng in Wer

Vik Sahay as Eric Sarin in Wer

Vik Sahay as Eric Sarin in Wer

Directed by William Brent Bell

Screenplay by William Brent Bell and Matthew Peterman

When a family vacationing in France is brutally murdered, their bodies torn apart a suspect, Talan Gwynek, is arrested and taken into custody. Talan’s attorney, Kate Moore, attempts to build a defense around the assumption that Gwynek may suffer from a disease called porphyria and would have been physically incapable of committing the crimes. That’s the truth that she wants to believe; the truth that she receives is that her client may indeed be a werewolf.

Wer, the latest film from director William Brent Bell, comes directly after his The Devil Inside. If you had told me that I would love a film directed by Bell after suffering through that execrable film I would have literally laughed in your face; would have being the key words in that sentence. Not only does Bell redeem himself with Wer but he has also made a film that, despite a weak and predictable final five minutes, deserves a place alongside The Howling, Ginger Snaps, An American Werewolf in London and Dog Soldiers in the Lycanthropy Movie Hall of Fame.

With Wer, Bell is aided by a strong performance from AJ Cook in the lead as Kate Moore and by adequate, well-acted supporting performances from Vik Sahay and Simon Quarterman. The movie is shot in a ‘found footage’ style that for once aids the plot of the film (as with Bobcat Goldthwait’s Willow Creek) instead of making a mess of it (Paranormal Activity 4). Don’t expect a lot of gore; what there is is fast and quick save for a few scenes. Don’t expect an all-out werewolf transformation because you’re not going to get it and in the end you’re going to be okay with that. Yes, Wer is a werewolf film-of that there is no doubt; it is a werewolf film in the most unconventional sense of the word.

TRIVIA

The word “werewolf” is only used twice in the whole movie: once in a news report Eric is watching online and once spoken by Gavin.

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A.J. Cook also appears in Night Skies and Least Among Saints.

Brian Scott O’Connor makes his debut in Wer.

Simon Quarterman also appears in The Devil Inside.

Sebastian Roché also appears in The Adventures of TinTin and Beowulf.

Vik Sahay also appears in Good Will Hunting and eXistenZ.

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JOE SWANBERG’S 24 EXPOSURES IS AN EMPTY, SOULLESS EFFORT

24 EXPOSURES-United States-77 Mins. 2013

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Adam Wingard as Billy in 24 Exposures

Adam Wingard as Billy in 24 Exposures

Simon Barrett as Michael Bamfeaux in 24 Exposures

Simon Barrett as Michael Bamfeaux in 24 Exposures

Helen Rogers as Rebecca in 24 Exposures

Helen Rogers as Rebecca in 24 Exposures

Directed, Written and Edited by Joe Swanberg

Joe Swanberg is not new to directing. If you look at his page on IMDb.com you will see a list of 27 films (short films included) or television shows that credit him as the man behind the camera. In fact, there are 23 directorial credits before 24 Exposures was ever helmed by Swanberg. This is my question: if 24 Exposures is Joe Swanberg’s 24th credit as a director then why does it look and feel like he’s never been behind a camera in his life? Swanberg’s method of filmmaking seems to come from the school of “When in Doubt, Film It”. Someone throws something on the floor-film it; someone does this-film it; someone does that-film it and on and on. I never in my life thought that I would find the female breast to be tedious but Swanberg films so many exposed boobs in 24 Exposures that after the umpteenth nipple I thought, “What? Another one? Good grief!”. As for plot I can’t with all honesty say that there is one since there doesn’t seem to be any cohesive storyline. I think 24 Exposures is about a photographer, Billy, who photographs women nude or semi-nude and in various death scenes. A detective is lead to Billy’s door when one of his models is found dead. That’s the plot of 24 exposures. In between there are scenes of Billy, then scenes of the detective, then more of Billy, then more of the detective and nothing ever seems to happen no matter who is onscreen. There is nothing at the beginning of 24 Exposures nor is there anything in the middle or the end. It is an empty and soulless film and if this were Swanberg’s first film as a director I could perhaps forgive that. As it is, I can’t find it in my heart as a movie-lover to be able to do that.

NO TRIVIA

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Adam Wingard also appears in Pop Skull and Autoerotic.

Simon Barrett also appears in A Horrible Way to Die and You’re Next.

Helen Rogers also appears in Jack Attack and How to Be a Man.

 

 

 

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THE SEMI-DAILY HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY-SEPTEMBER 7, 2014

From All the Boys Love Mandy Lane and featuring Amber Heard as Mandy Lane and quote by Aaron Himelstein as Red.

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There she is boys, Mandy Lane. Untouched, pure. Since the dawn of junior year men have tried to possess her, and to date all have failed. Some have even died in their reckless pursuit of this angel.

 

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A Little Heads-up

Just a heads-up to let everyone know that my computer is kaput. Hopefully I’ll be able to get it fixed and can get back to blogging ASAP. If not, I will not be able to get a new computer until January, maybe February. I could do posts from my phone but that could turn out to be way too tedious. So until I find out if it can be fixed this may be my last post for a long time. Take care and stay scared, everyone.

Posted in Movies | 8 Comments

THE SACRAMENT DREDGES UP MEMORIES OF JONESTOWN AND REMINDS US NOT TO DRINK THE KOOL-AID

THE SACRAMENT-United States-95 Mins. 2013

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Joe Swanberg as Jake in The Sacrament

Joe Swanberg as Jake in The Sacrament

AJ Bowen as Sam in The Sacrament

AJ Bowen as Sam in The Sacrament

Kentucker Audley as Patrick in The Sacrament

Kentucker Audley as Patrick in The Sacrament

Amy Seimetz as Caroline in The Sacrament

Amy Seimetz as Caroline in The Sacrament

Gene Jones as Father in The Sacrament

Gene Jones as Father in The Sacrament

Directed and Written by Ti West

I was telling a friend of mine, Alex Laybourne, that one thing I have noticed about the films I have watched from director Ti West is that he enjoys bringing us memories of bygone decades. The House of the Devil was a nod to the TV and splatter movies of the 1970’s and 1980’s. Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever was a mischievous wink at the bottled water craze that began in the mid-1980’s and is still going on today. The Innkeepers featured, and was filmed, at the Yankee Pedlar Inn in Torrington, Connecticut. One of the oldest non-franchise hotels that is still in operation, it was built in 1891.

The Sacrament is no exception to this pattern. In eerie parallel it dredges up the memories of the tragedy that struck the “Jonestown” community on November 18. 1978. Over 900 people lost their lives that day in an event that, depending on the account, was either the largest mass suicide or one of the largest mass murders in recorded history.

The “Jonestown” of The Sacrament is Eden Parish, a sober living community in an undisclosed location outside of the U.S. When a documentary team follows their friend there to locate his missing sister, they meet and interview a handful of the people living there who recount to them the idyllic nature of their lives there. There’s not a single luxury of the outside world to be found at Eden Parish and that’s just the way Father wants it.

Father is the Jim Jones of Eden Parish. Played by Gene Jones he is as charismatic as a televangelist and as manipulative as the serpent in the Garden of Eden. Father is the type who quotes Bible verses to suit his own agenda. When the cameras are rolling and Father is put on the spot is when we begin to see that what appears to be paradise is flawed and imperfect and that people are desperate to leave-if only Father would allow it.

As written previously West enjoys invoking memories of past decades. He’s becoming somewhat of a master at it. There are images in The Sacrament that, while I cannot say what they are for the sake of no spoilers, brought back some unpleasant memories of my youth. I had nightmares about “Jonestown” and Jim Jones.

The most important message to come from The Sacrament is that West beats it into us to never have blind faith in any human being. If you do then you do this at your own risk. Question those in authority and if you’re not satisfied with their answers then question them some more. I strongly recommend The Sacrament. Don’t ask questions; watch it.

TRIVIA

Two retired members of the Harlem Globetrotters played background roles in this movie.

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Joe Swanberg also appears in Silver Bullets and Proxy.

AJ Bowen also appears in The House of the Devil and The Signal (2007).

Kentucker Audley also appears in V/H/S and White Fox Mask.

Amy Seimetz also appears in A Horrible Way to Die and You’re Next.

Gene Jones also appears in No Country for Old Men and Oz the Great and Powerful.

 

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