RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3-United States-97 Mins. 1993
Directed by Brian Yuzna
Written by John Penney
I love my wife. She’s a warm, loving, beautiful and intelligent lady. She completes me. All the ladies reading this may now collectively go ‘Awwww, that’s so sweet!’ I do, I love her. But there are just some things that I draw the line on. For instance, if I came home from work one night and my wife was in the living room eating some poor guys brains right out of his head then that’s it, the marriage is over. That’s what Curtis should have done in Return of the Living Dead 3. He uses the toxin from the first ROTLD to bring his girlfriend, Julie (Melinda Clarke), back to life after she breaks her neck in a motorcycle accident. Pretty soon Julie is eating brains with the rest of the living dead and Curtis is looking like that guy with the loud-mouth wife that all his buddies think is a complete bitch. Damn it, Curtis, get rid of that girl! She’s no good for you, boy!
All kidding aside, Return of the Living Dead 3 is an entertaining, if somewhat uneven entry into the ROTLD series. Melinda Clarke is a hot mess as Julie, the walking dead object of Curtis’ affections. I can’t really blame Curtis for wanting to bring her back to life; he was getting laid and Julie is pretty…until she starts her diet of human cerebellum and starts sticking everything from glass to nails into her body to try and alleviate the hunger. I guarantee you that this movie is responsible for extreme piercing.
Director Brian Yuzna is no stranger to zombie movies, having directed Bride of Re-Animator and Beyond Re-Animator. He gives horror fans what they want (blood and gore), but he sacrifices the story to do it. Return of the Living Dead 3 is not a bad film, but it is a very uneven one. The films moves along at a quick, gory pace and all of a sudden finds it bogged down in boredom. J. Trevor Edmond looks completely lost in his role as the love struck Curtis and Melinda Clarke looks embarrassed throughout a good portion of the movie. Throw in a gang of hoodlums and a homeless vet called the Riverman and you’ve got a mess. Yuzna is certainly no George Romero and Return of the Living Dead 3 is certainly no Night of the Living Dead. Then again, what is?
Getting bit by Trioxin zombie in the previous two Return of the Living Dead films did not turn the individual bit into a zombie. However in Return of the Living Dead III it does.
Sadly, only the R-rated version is available on DVD. Those looking for the unrated director’s cut will have to hunt for the VHS.
Onscreen death count: 17.
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