Daily Archives: 12/09/2011

THE HOWLING REBORN

THE HOWLING REBORN-United States-88 Mins. 2011

Lindsey Shaw as Eliana Wynter

Landon Liboiron as Will Kidman

Ivana Milicevic as Kathryn/Kay

Directed by Joe Nimziki
Written by Joe Nimziki and James Robert Johnston
IN MEMORIAM
THE HOWLING FILM SERIES
4/10/1981
t0
10/18/2011
The Howling film series, which began with one of the greatest werewolf films of all time, starring Dee Wallace and directed by Joe Dante, died on October 18, 2011 with the anemic release of it’s final ( let us hope ) film in the series, The Howling Reborn. The series was the parent of seven sequels, each and every one more of a mindless bastard than their predecessor. The Howling Reborn was the cancer that drove the final nail into the casket of a series that should have lived in glory with the first film, but instead festered and boiled in the cinematic psyche for far too long. Everything was done to make this series a winning effort, including a repeating shot of Sybil Danning showing off her hot naked body in The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf. Alas, it was to no avail. The Howling Reborn committed the final blasphemy to the series by tuning in more to the namby-pamby Twilight crowd than to the lycanthropic starved fans of the first and by far greatest film. After an hour and thirty-two minutes of mindless teenage floundering, poor editing, intrusive music and overall bad acting, the series was finally pronounced dead. Below you will find a list of the films in the series, followed by the pallbearers for the procession. By special request, one of the pallbearers, Mr. Bob Barker, would like to remind you to spay and neuter your werewolves.
The Howling (Mother and Father)-
The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (Sister)-No Blood Drops
The Howling III (Brother)-No Blood Drops
The Howling V: The Rebirth (retarded cousin)-No Blood Drops
The Howling VI: The Freaks (In-bred children of retarded cousin)-No Blood Drops
The Howling: New Moon Rising (Mistress of The Howling II)-No Blood Drops
The Howling Reborn ( Namby-Pamby teenage offspring of the Twilight generation)-No Blood Drops
Pallbearers
Bob Barker
Cesar Milan
Betty White
Pamela Anderson
Paul McCartney
Brigitte Bardot
Rebecca Black will perform Werewolves of London and Bad Moon Rising after the service.
Donations can be made to the Lycanthropic Relief Fund at http://www.LRF.org
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