GAMERA:GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE-Japan-1995
Directed by Shûseke Kaneko
Dialogue by Matt Greenfield
Written by Kazunori Itô
BLOOD LIGHT PRESENTS REAL MONSTERS OF GENIUS
Real Monsters of Genius
Today we salute you, Mr. Giant flying Japanese turtle.
He’s a turtle, not a tortoise!!
You’re the go-to guy when it comes to getting rid of those pesky cannibalistic birds known as the Gyaos.
It’s a giant flying big bird cannibal holocaust crunch and munch!!
Not only can you fly like an eagle, you can shoot mighty flames out of your mouth that look like big giant gas balls.
Ooooooooowwwwww, the big turtle’s got gas so you better stand back!!
But above all that, you managed to form a psychic bond with a really hot teenage girl.
She’s Steven Seagal‘s daughter, but she doesn’t have her daddy’s looks oh thank you, Lord!!
So lift up your flipper, roar that roar you roar so well and take a big Japanese monster flying turtle bow.
You saved us all, you big guy!!
And grab yourself an ice cold BLOOD LIGHT.
You deserve it, big fella!!
All joking aside I’m sure you’re probably asking why I would bother reviewing a Japanese giant monster film. The best answer I can give you is a deceptively simple one; I review it because it’s fun. After reviewing films like “Deadgirl” and “Antichrist” I began to feel down. Neither one of those films could be described as ‘touch me feel me’ films. In fact, they can be downright depressing if you let them. So I knew that I needed a change. That’s where Gamera comes into play. Sometimes you need to review a film that has no hidden social message, no famous big name actors and that makes you feel like a complete and total kid again. Sure, Gamera is a giant flying turtle. Sure, he can fly and shoot giant fireballs and form psychic bonds with teenage girls played by Steven Seagal’s daughter. What’s the big fucking deal about that? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The gayos creature was performed by a female actress so that it would convey more ‘feminine’ like behavior. Apparently this was the first time a kaiju was ever performed by a woman.
The film’s Japanese poster is a nearly identical recreation of the Japanese poster of the first film in which Gamera fought Gyaos, Daikaijû kûchûsen: Gamera tai Gyaosu.
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