THE AMITYVILLE HORROR-United States-2005

Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz

Melissa George as Kathy Lutz

Phillip Baker Hall as Father Callaway

Directed by Andrew Douglas

Screenplay by Scott Kosar

Based on the book by Jay Anson

Okay, so I saw the original “The Amityville Horror” last night and after years of thinking it tedious and unremarkable it scared the living shit out of me. So you would think that since I got that out of my system that the remake would be a cakewalk, right? Holy jumped up bald-headed Palomino you just don’t know how wrong I really was. “The Amityville Horror” remake takes all the scares of the original 2 hour film, reduces it down to less than 90 minutes and amps the motherfucking thing up to 20 until your (my) sanity is virtually non-existent. It is a rare example of a remake being head and shoulders (look no dandruff) better than the original film. Alright, so maybe my mental faculties weren’t in question, but it was still scary. I also have a little bit of dandruff, still.

Every family wants to live in a dream house. For George and Kathy Lutz and their children that dream house is 412 Ocean Avenue. But in the wrong house and at the right times all your dreams can turn into nightmares. The crimes of the past and its victims can come back to haunt in ways that you never imagined possible. Voices can tell you to kill and ghosts can grab hold of you without warning. Welcome to Amityville, George and Kathy; hope you survive.

Oops, I am digressing again. The one thing that pleased me the most about this film was the cast. Until “The Amityville Horror” circa 2005 I had only seen Ryan Reynolds in straight up comedies such as “Van Wilder“, which was hilarious. I don’t like using the cliché ‘he really surprised me’, but all I can say is that in “Amityville” he really surprised me. As for Melissa George, the first film I ever saw her in was “30 Days of Night” and I was impressed with her in that one. Add to the fact that I found Margot Kidder to be annoying in the original and you can understand that I was quite happy with George in the remake.

Are houses evil, or are the people that lived and died in them enough to make them that way? I really don’t know the answer to that but I damn sure wish I did. I get a feeling Ronald DeFeo, Jr.‘s family wished the same thing. Take care and stay scared and tell your family you love them.

TRIVIA

Ryan Reynolds chose not to become close with his “movie” children. He wasn’t mean or rude to them, just very distant. So distant in fact that the children often confided to those on the set that “Ryan doesn’t like us!” Ryan said that he didn’t want to “fall in love” with the kids. Ryan did this so that when “George” started changing, he’d have no trouble easing into the verbal and physical abuse.

In the original script, the poster on Billy’s bedroom wall during the babysitter scene was of a different band. However, when the crew realized how long of a tongue actressRachel Nichols (who played the babysitter) had, they decided to change it to a poster of the rock band Kiss, because of band member Gene Simmons‘ very long tongue.

Megan Fox auditioned for the role of Lisa.

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