PHANTASM

PHANTASM-United States-1979

Michael Baldwin as Mike

Bill Thornbury as Jody

Reggie Bannister as Reggie

Kathy Lester as Lady in Lavender

Angus Scrimm as The Tall Man

Written and directed by Don Coscarelli

Happy 4th of July!! I have to work 12 whole hours today from 4 P.M. to 4 A.M.; so while my wife and her family are chowing down on ribs and hamburgers and hot dogs, I’m going to be slaving away at work keeping the world safe for humanity. Have you ever seen such cruelty? Somebody better bring me a plate of ribs.

Anyways, now that I got that off my chest I can get on to the task of reviewing this movie. But first of all I have a few questions. Do you expect me to believe that “Phantasm” is about two brothers that discover this weird funeral home where the ( I would imagine ) newly dead are compressed down to the size of Verne Troyer and stuffed into barrels to be sent to work as slaves in some otherworldly dimension?

Well, shit, if you say so.

Do you also expect me to believe that Angus Scrimm is this creepy Tall Man that runs the place and is hell-bent on turning the brothers, Jody and Mike, into Tattoo from “Fantasy Island” so they can be sent to be slaves in an otherworldly dimension?

Okay, I believe it. Hell, no arm twisting required here.

Finally, am I supposed to believe that the previously mentioned Tall Man is aided in his endeavors by this hot chick wearing a lavender dress who lures poor unsuspecting men to their destinies as members of the Midget Minority to be slaves in an otherworldly dimension?

Okay.

What I am trying to say is that “Phantasm” is about as trippy a horror film as you’re ever likely to see. Any movie that tosses all the things our way that this movie tosses is worth a look in my book. “Phantasm” is scary fun and creepy shenanigans all rolled up into one believably unbelievable package.

All this and I haven’t even mentioned that creepy  metal ball that flies around the mortuary acting like some sort of watchdog and drilling holes in people’s heads and siphoning out their blood. You don’t think that part would be too much to believe, do you?

TRIVIA

The mansion used for the exterior shots of the mausoleum was also seen in the James Bond film A View to a Kill.

The dwarves were played by children.

Title was changed to “The Never Dead” for Australian audiences as not to confuse it with the popular Aussie sex comedy World of Sexual Fantasy, which was also known as Fantasma.

Don Coscarelli rented all of the filming equipment used to make this movie, always on Fridays so he could use it all weekend and return it on Mondays, all the while only actually having to pay one day’s rental on the equipment.

½

Related articles

• Visual Inspiration (aniweda.wordpress.com)
• Angus Scrimm Featured in Carnivalia, New Music Video From Viza (dreadcentral.com)
• April Sale: Get Scared with Great Horror (sundancenow.com)
• Rewind Review: Batman Mask of the Phantasm (comicbooked.com)
• Fresh Meat: Inside Out (theevilgm.wordpress.com)
• GUEST COMMENTARY: Thomas Jefferson, our least Christian president – Articles (wilmingtonfavs.com)
• LotFP Illusionist Class: Please Help Me Kick the Tires (rolang.com)
• Check Out the Carnies Teaser Poster (faircarnivals.com)
• Guild Wars 2 Mesmer Hands-On Impressions — Clones, Phantasms, And Butterflies (g4tv.com)
• Exclusive: Phantasm 5 a Reality (dreadcentral.com)
• Random Planetary Angel Generator (dreamsofmythicfantasy.blogspot.com)
• Phantasms of infinity (plus.maths.org)
• Michael Johnson: Being a Slave Descendant Gives One a Superior Athlethic Gene (whitenewsnow.com)
• Killer Text Messages–Some Messages Aren’t Meant to be Opened (prweb.com)
• William Lawes: Consorts to the Organ – review (guardian.co.uk)
• Verne Troyer – Verne Troyer Trapped In Airplane Toilet (contactmusic.com)
• Shameful: Aaron Sorkin, Left celebrate Independence Day by slamming America; Update: Chris Rock joins in (twitchy.com)
• Canterbury Park Cancels Fourth Of July Racing, Events (minnesota.cbslocal.com)
• Crypticon Seattle this Weekend May 25th (comicsforge.com)