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Daily Archives: 07/14/2012

TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS BORDELLO OF BLOOD

Jul 14

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TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS BORDELLO OF BLOOD-United States-1996

Dennis Miller as Rafe Guttman

Erika Eleniak as Katherine Verdoux

Angie Everhart as Lilith

Chris Sarandon as Reverend Current

Corey Feldman as Caleb Verdoux

Directed by Gilbert Adler

Story by Bob Gale and Robert Zemeckis

Screenplay by A.L. Katz and Gilbert Adler

Based on the comic book “Tales from the Crypt” created by William Gaines

The entire time I was watching Dennis Miller’s performance in “Tales from the Crypt presents Bordello of Blood”; I couldn’t help thinking that Rider Strong could play a younger Miller in a bio-pic. Between that and the fact that there are enough boobs and butts to keep Hugh Hefner on his Viagra prescription, it’s about the only things that keeps this extended episode interesting. Sure it’s got women of ill repute and vampires and lots of blood and gore, but it’s really nothing we haven’t seen before and better in the same year of its release. Anyone remember a kick ass of a movie called “From Dusk ’til Dawn?” That film came out in January of 1996; whereas “Bordello of Blood” didn’t rear its ugly head until August of that same year.

Lilith (why in the hell are they always named Lilith?), the mother of all vampires, is resurrected and opens a bordello inside a funeral home to lure unsuspecting male victims. One of those male victims just so happens to be Corey Feldman, who, ironically speaking, should know how to defend himself against vampires since he was a Frog brother in “The Lost Boys“. But we’re not talking about that movie, now are we? Anyway, after his disappearance his goody two-shoes sister (Erika Eleniak-”Baywatch”, “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial“, Miss July 1989 in Playboy Magazine) hires private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller-”Thank You for Smoking”, The Net”) to try and find him. This in turn leads them to Lilith (Angie Everhart-”Take Me Home Tonight”) and her vampire hos and the final confrontation between the three leads. I’m not going to give away the secret to Lilith’s destruction, but I will say that Harry Potter fans should find it very familiar. It all sounds pretty damn exciting, doesn’t it, kids? Trust me; for the most part it’s not. Miller is by far the best thing about the movie; but it’s not his acting, but his strength as a comedian that carries the role. His character, Guttman, has the best one-liners in the movie. Angie Everhart is all statuesque red-haired sex appeal and Eleniak is girl next door gorgeous. Neither actress possesses a great deal of talent to go along with their beauty. There is then of course the blood and gore to consider, but it’s all cartoonish and not in the least bit terrifying.

So, if you want to see a vampire film with hookers and strippers but not much excitement to carry it along then by all means see “Bordello of Blood”. Anything more than that and you’ll need to see the one starring George Clooney and Salma Hayek. If neither of those choices floats your boat then there’s always “Twilight”.

TRIVIA

In a cemetery, there’s a crypt with the name “Gaines” on it. William Gaines is the creator of the “Tales From The Crypt” comic books.

Was originally intended to be the second installment in a trilogy of Tales From The Crypt movies, but the proposed third movie was scrapped by Universal when Bordello Of Blood bombed at the box offices.

Originally supposed to be released on a “horror themed” weekend (Halloween, Friday the 13th, etc.) but Universal didn’t have enough movies slated to be released for the summer of 1996 and opted to release Bordello Of Blood in August as a result.

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Posted in Films based on Comic Books, Films Released in 1996, Movies, Vampire Films

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