UNEARTHED

UNEARTHED-United States-2007

Emmanuelle Vaugier as Sheriff Annie Flynn

Luke Goss as Kale

Charlie Murphy as Hank

Beau Garrett as Caya

Tommy Dewey as Charlie

Tonantzin Carmelo as Nodin

Written and directed by Matthew Leutwyler

Matthew Leutwyler must have read the chapter of “Screenwriting for Dummies” entitled “Writing a Clichéd Horror Movie” quite a few times before making “Unearthed”. He knows the recipe by heart:

Take a one horse town in the middle of nowhere. Cut the town off from the outside world by some natural or unnatural occurrence. This time it’s an overturned tanker that just so happened to be delivering the fuel for the towns only gas station.

Take 1 female sheriff (Emmanuelle Vaugier, “CSI: NY“) who is now an alcoholic after an off-screen occurrence that has half the town behind her and other half screaming for her termination. Throw her in with a…

… black man (Charlie Murphy) who must get to his destination yesterday, two young girls (Beau Garrett, Whitney Able) on their way to Hollywood who don’t know how to read a map, a young good ole boy (Tommy Dewey) with a broken down truck, and an old Indian and his biologist granddaughter (Russell Means and Tonantzin Carmelo). Never mind that these people all came from outside of town; they’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time. For added flavor toss in a mysterious archaeologist (Luke Goss) who has some idea of what’s going on but is being extremely vague about the whole thing…stir occasionally and mix in a…

…900 year old creature that somewhat  resembles the xenomorph from Alien, makes a galloping sound like a horse when it runs and is, of course, out for blood.

Shake well for 93 minutes until you have one excruciatingly stupid and boring movie.

NO TRIVIA

NO BLOOD DROPS

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