ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CHEERLEADER

ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CHEERLEADER-United States-83 Min. 2012

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Jena Sims as Cassie Stratford

Jena Sims as Cassie Stratford

Sean Young as Brenda Stratford

Sean Young as Brenda Stratford

Treat Williams as Dr. Grey

Treat Williams as Dr. Grey

Sasha Jackson as Jett

Sasha Jackson as Jett

Ryan Merriman as Kyle

Ryan Merriman as Kyle

Olivia Alexander as Brittany Andrews

Olivia Alexander as Brittany Andrews

Roger Corman as Dean Hinkle

Roger Corman as Dean Hinkle

John Landis as Professor

John Landis as Professor

Ted Raimi as Dr. Higgs

Ted Raimi as Dr. Higgs

Directed by Kevin O-Neill

Written by Mike MacLean

Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader surprised the hell out of me. Don’t let the title fool you; it is an amazingly written, directed and acted film about one girl and her struggle to be accepted in today’s society. Jena Sims (Dexter, One Tree Hill) gives a performance that rivals Meryl Streep on her best day.

I’m just kidding; it’s a movie about cheerleaders with big boobs, great butts and a 50 foot cheerleader with even bigger boobs and a really giant great butt. This is not a movie to be taken seriously in any way, shape or form. It’s the kind of cheesy film that my friends and I would see on a regular basis when we were younger and would love every minute of it. This was long before I became a reviewer. I watched this movie purely for the fun of it and to quote Yoda, “Fun I did have, yes.” This is not the type of film that will further any careers and in fact I’m sure it will set a few of them way back *cough cough Treat Williams (127 Hours, Deep Rising), Sean Young (Blade Runner, No Way Out) cough cough*.

Cassie Stratford (Sims) is your typical pimply faced lab nerd that wants so desperately to fit in with the cool girls i.e. the hot cheerleaders/sorority girls. But OMG that Brittany Andrews (30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) is such a bitch! She’s not about to let geek-freak Cassie in on any of the fun. Not only that but Cassie also has trouble on the home front from former head cheerleader mom Brenda (Young), whose expectations are higher than her daughter can achieve. So what’s a poor girl to do except inject herself with an experimental growth hormone. After that Cassie goes from not-to-hot as her eyesight improves, her body fills out and she becomes amazingly athletic just like Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man; although Jena Sims has much nicer boobs. Cassie is hot just like she always wanted. But with great hotness comes consequences; Cassie begins to grow…and grow…and grow…and grow until she becomes…dun…dun…DUH…the 50 Foot Cheerleader!!

Have fun watching this movie. I did. I came away from it a better person ready to serve my community and humanity itself.

I’m kidding again. I just had fun. Oh, and watch for cameos from Ted Raimi (The Midnight Meat Train), Roger Corman and John Landis (An American Werewolf in London).

TRIVIA

“Attack Attack” performed by Olivia Alexander and written by Olivia Alexander and Joey Sykes

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About jmount43

I was born in Spartanburg, South Carolina on March 4, 1962. I guess that makes me old, but I certainly don't feel that way. I still play video games and listen to rock and roll music. I love movies, especially horror films. I have a beautiful wife who is my all time best friend. She supports me in everything I do. More importantly, she calls me out on my bullshit. This blog is dedicated to her for everything she's done for me.
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