ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CHEERLEADER
ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CHEERLEADER-United States-83 Min. 2012
Directed by Kevin O-Neill
Written by Mike MacLean
Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader surprised the hell out of me. Don’t let the title fool you; it is an amazingly written, directed and acted film about one girl and her struggle to be accepted in today’s society. Jena Sims (Dexter, One Tree Hill) gives a performance that rivals Meryl Streep on her best day.
I’m just kidding; it’s a movie about cheerleaders with big boobs, great butts and a 50 foot cheerleader with even bigger boobs and a really giant great butt. This is not a movie to be taken seriously in any way, shape or form. It’s the kind of cheesy film that my friends and I would see on a regular basis when we were younger and would love every minute of it. This was long before I became a reviewer. I watched this movie purely for the fun of it and to quote Yoda, “Fun I did have, yes.” This is not the type of film that will further any careers and in fact I’m sure it will set a few of them way back *cough cough Treat Williams (127 Hours, Deep Rising), Sean Young (Blade Runner, No Way Out) cough cough*.
Cassie Stratford (Sims) is your typical pimply faced lab nerd that wants so desperately to fit in with the cool girls i.e. the hot cheerleaders/sorority girls. But OMG that Brittany Andrews (30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) is such a bitch! She’s not about to let geek-freak Cassie in on any of the fun. Not only that but Cassie also has trouble on the home front from former head cheerleader mom Brenda (Young), whose expectations are higher than her daughter can achieve. So what’s a poor girl to do except inject herself with an experimental growth hormone. After that Cassie goes from not-to-hot as her eyesight improves, her body fills out and she becomes amazingly athletic just like Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man; although Jena Sims has much nicer boobs. Cassie is hot just like she always wanted. But with great hotness comes consequences; Cassie begins to grow…and grow…and grow…and grow until she becomes…dun…dun…DUH…the 50 Foot Cheerleader!!
Have fun watching this movie. I did. I came away from it a better person ready to serve my community and humanity itself.
“Attack Attack” performed by Olivia Alexander and written by Olivia Alexander and Joey Sykes
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