V/H/S/2

V/H/S/2-United States/Canada/Indonesia-96 Mins. 2013

vhs_two_xxlg

Directed by Simon Barrett, Jason Eisener, Gareth Evans, Gregg Hale, Eduardo Sánchez, Timo Tjahjanto, Adam Wingard

Written by Simon Barrett, Jamie Nash, Timo Tjahjanto, Gareth Evans, Jason Eisener, John Davies, Brad Miska, Eduardo Sánchez

A pair of private investigators is hired to find a missing student. They go to his house and find a video tapes with the content of each tape being more shocking than the previous one. Welcome to V/H/S/2; one of those anthology films that forces me as a reviewer to watch an installment, review it, go on to the next and repeat the process all over again. So, do you want to come along for the ride? Of course you do; I have candy.

Phase 1 Clinical Trials

Directed by Adam Wingard

Written by Simon Barrett

Director Adam Wingard (A Horrible Way to Die, You’re Next) is Herman. After an auto accident, Herman becomes the owner of a fully functional prosthetic eye. Make that almost fully functional since there are a few glitches to be ironed out. There’s also the downer of the creators of the eye seeing and recording Herman’s every move. If he thought it was hard to find time to flog the bishop before, well then. The ‘glitches’ include the haleyjoelosmentsian talent of seeing creepy dead people in his home. He meets Clarissa (Hannah Hughes, Pop Skull), who explains it all and has a very ‘unique’ way of getting rid of the apparitions. Phase 1 Clinical Trials is effectively creepy with the right mix of humor and makes for a satisfying start to V/H/S/2.

bloodblood½

A Ride in the Park

Directed by Edúardo Sanchez and Gregg Hale

Written by  Edúardo Sanchez and Jamie Nash

Jay Saunders (Ninjas vs. Vampires) is enjoying a bike ride when the zombie apocalypse breaks out and he becomes a member of the walking dead. Make that the riding dead. Thanks to helmet cam the segment is told almost entirely from first person point of view. Zombie gore and mayhem and not very much else ensue in this tale written and directed by  Edúardo Sanchez (Altered, the upcoming Exists) and co-directed by Gregg Hale (Say Yes Quickly). It’s a fun segment; it just doesn’t bring anything new to the zombie dinner table.

bloodblood

Safe Haven 

Directed and written by Timo Tjahjanto and Gareth Huw Evans

David Koresh and Marshall Applewhite would have been proud of this segment from Timo Tjahjanto (Macabre) and Gareth Huw Evans (The Raid: Redemption) about a cult leader being interviewed by a camera crew amid allegations that he is having sex with children to ‘purify’ them to make them ready for whatever typical, twisted view of Heaven is loose inside his screwed-up brain. So far, Safe Haven is the goriest segment of V/H/S/2 and the most satisfying for horror fans. There’s everything in here from crazy cultists, mass suicides and a creature that is clearly inspired by both the Minotaur and the Jersey Devil. Some dialogue will make you feel like you need a shower afterwards but that’s okay; you’ll need one to wash all the blood and bits of brain off of you anyway.

bloodbloodblood

Slumber Party Alien Abduction

Directed by Jason Eisener

Written by Jason Eisener and John Davies

Before I even watched this final segment I knew that it had the best title out of the four segments. It also has the most obvious title as that is exactly what it is about. Aliens invade a slumber party with the intent of abducting as many of the kids as possible. Obviously these are the special-education aliens who flunked the class that teaches that it’s more fun to blow up the world Independence Day style than it is Shyamalan’s Signs fashion. Aside from director Jason Eisener (Hobo with a Shotgun, Treevenge) I was unfamiliar with any of the rest of the cast and therefore could have cared less what happened to them.  Slumber Party Alien Abduction boasts the loudest and therefore most annoying soundtrack which barely draws your attention away from the terrible acting. Best title also equals worst segment.

blood

Looking back I discovered that I gave the original V/H/S an overall rating of bloodbloodblood. Doing the math and with that unsatisfied feeling gnawing at my gut I find that V/H/S/2 does not fare nearly as well. The film’s original title was S-VHS before being changed. That makes me wonder if the filmmakers didn’t know something all along.

NO TRIVIA

bloodblood

About these ads

About Written in Blood

I was born in Spartanburg, South Carolina on March 4, 1962. I guess that makes me old, but I certainly don't feel that way. I still play video games and listen to rock and roll music. I love movies, especially horror films. I have a beautiful wife who is my all time best friend. She supports me in everything I do. More importantly, she calls me out on my bullshit. This blog is dedicated to her for everything she's done for me.

Posted on 12/02/2013, in Movies and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. I think everyone agrees that Safe Haven is the best segment and the only real reason to watch this – it actually made it worth watching the rest of the film.

  2. Victor De Leon

    I need to see these 2 films already. Don’t know why it has taken me so long. I have them both on my netflix list. Good review!

  3. Haven’t seen this yet. Your review makes it sounds as if some of the segments are reasonably good while others just miss, thereby leaving an overall unsatisfied impression?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,046 other followers

%d bloggers like this: