SHARKNADO

SHARKNADO-United States-86 Mins. 2013

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Tara Reid as April Wexler in Sharknado

Tara Reid as April Wexler in Sharknado

Ian Ziering as Fin Shepard in Sharknado

Ian Ziering as Fin Shepard in Sharknado

John Heard as George in Sharknado

John Heard as George in Sharknado

Cassie Scerbo as Nova Clarke in Sharknado

Cassie Scerbo as Nova Clarke in Sharknado

Jaason Simmons as Baz Hogan in Sharknado

Jaason Simmons as Baz Hogan in Sharknado

Lots and lots of sharks as Themselves in Sharknado

Lots and lots of sharks as Themselves in Sharknado

Even more lots and lots of sharks as Themselves in Sharknado

Even more lots and lots of sharks as Themselves in Sharknado

I just want to wish my extended blogging family a Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Years. It has been amazing getting to know a small part of each and every one of you. Thank you.

Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante

Written by Thunder Levin

I’ll admit without hesitation that I was going to give Sharknado a low rating before I watched it. I knew that it would be a bad movie going in and I wasn’t disappointed. So why, pray tell, am I giving it a rating of 4 (out of a possible 5) Blood Drops if it’s such a bad movie? I’ll tell you why; it’s because Sharknado is a bad movie that doesn’t pretend to be anything else but. It wallows like a prize-winning hog in the slop that it creates for itself and it does it with gusto! It’s illogical, implausible, poorly written, badly acted, atrociously directed and it says “Hey, look at me!” every step of the way.

A freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles and pushes thousands of sharks onto shore and into the streets to wreak havoc on the cozy and unsuspecting citizens whose idea of a bad day is running out of suntan oil. Ian Ziering (Snake and Mongoose, That’s My Boy) is Fin Shepard (A name I couldn’t make up on my best day), a former Coast Guard and now bartender/surfer who is now in a desperate race to get to his estranged wife April (Tara Reid, Urban Legend, The Big Lebowski) and their children and get them someplace safe before the Weather Girls start singing “It’s Raining Sharks”. He’s a better man than I; I would have just let the sharks have my ex-wife; they would’ve spit her out anyway. With three tornadoes full of hungry sharks soon to hit, Fin and his friends  Baz Hogan (Jaason Simmons, Baywatch, Ghost Rig), Nova Clarke (Cassie Scerbo, Bring It On: In It to Win It, Teen Spirit) and George* (John Heard, Home Alone, Cutter’s Way) devise a plan to rid L.A. of Sharknado before the shark-shit hits the fan.

As bad as Sharknado is I can’t find fault with it. Any film that rips off Jaws and every disaster movie ever made is a winner in my book. Sharknado even features Robbie Rist (remember Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch?) as a hapless school bus driver. Ian Ziering has no idea what facial expression to use throughout the film and Tara Reid looks clueless, period. As for the sharks and their performances:

OSCARS ALL AROUND, BABY!!

*George doesn’t have a last name. What does that tell you?

TRIVIA

Actor Cory Monteith’s final tweet was about this film days before he died from a drug overdose.

Robbie Rist, who plays Robbie the bus driver, also co-wrote a handful of songs that are featured on the soundtrack.

The school bus sequence was filmed over several days at the 6th street bridge,in downtown LA. While a stunt double was used for certain shots,Ian Ziering did a lot of his own rappelling stunts.

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About Written in Blood

I was born in Spartanburg, South Carolina on March 4, 1962. I guess that makes me old, but I certainly don't feel that way. I still play video games and listen to rock and roll music. I love movies, especially horror films. I have a beautiful wife who is my all time best friend. She supports me in everything I do. More importantly, she calls me out on my bullshit. This blog is dedicated to her for everything she's done for me.

Posted on 12/25/2013, in Movies and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Its like road kill, you know its gonna’ be bad, but you can’t look away ;)

  2. Hahaha, I loved Sharknado – I have a particular fondness for these SyFy and Asylum movies. ;)

  3. Hey thanks for linking our review! -Serial Chillers

  1. Pingback: The Best of 2013 – Year end review | parlor of horror

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