Category Archives: Dutch Horror Films

Writer-director Tom Six said he got the idea for The Human Centipede when he joked that the punishment for child molesters should be to sew their mouths to a fat trucker’s anus. Now, I’ve had a few ideas about what to do to the pedophiles myself, none of which inspired me to make a horror film whose most memorable line is “I have to shit! So sorry!”, while your ass is sewn to some poor girls mouth whose only crime was being dumb enough to knock on the door of a mad (is there any other when it comes to horror movies?) scientists door in the middle of the night. The Human Centipede is the reason people who hate horror films detest them in the first place. The film is an idiotic exercise in excess that is as uninspired as an amateur pornographic film and is only slightly above it in quality. To be honest I really don’t know what’s worse; the fact that a piece of garbage like this gets the green light while scores of writers, directors and actors struggle to even get their films noticed; or the fact that I can use ‘ass to mouth’ as a legitimate tag.

I hate using clichés such as ‘avoid this film, you’ll feel better about yourself ‘, so I’ll just say avoid this film. How you feel about it is up to you.

Oh wait, I almost forgot; the plot of this film is that a mad scientist conducts a bizarre experiment by surgically attaching three people anus to mouth and calling it the Human Centipede. I give it little regard because that’s all it deserves.

TRIVIA

Roger Ebert refused to assign this film a star rating for his review (not to be confused with giving it a zero star rating, which he hands out to the very worst films that he sees), saying it doesn’t really matter whether the film is perceived as good or bad. He closes the review by writing, “The film is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.”

 

Josef Heiter’s first name references Josef Mengele, a Nazi doctor who carried out torture experiments on prisoners in Auschwitz concentration camp. The surname Heiter, literally meaning “cheerful” in German, is a reference to lesser-known Nazi war criminals, doctors Fetter and Richter.

 

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