Category Archives: Nature Run Amok Films
Directed by Kimble Rendall
Written by John Kim and Russell Mulcahy
Have you ever read the comic strip “Sherman’s Lagoon“? If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s a strip about an anthropomorphic great white shark named Sherman and his undersea adventures with his friends and family. Sherman has a nagging wife, Megan; a son, Herman; and various friends including a hermit crab named Hawthorne and a turtle named Fillmore. Sherman is a funny strip that I have always thought would translate well into an animated cartoon. I never actually thought that it would make for a good live action film; apparently the filmmakers behind “Bait” did. “Bait” is simply “Sherman’s Lagoon” with CGI great white sharks and live people.
The plot of “Bait” is of the ‘get us from Point A to Point B’ variety. A tsunami hits the coast of Queensland, Australia and traps a small group of survivors inside a supermarket with two hungry great white sharks. If you don’t see the irony in that, you’re more clueless than I am. The characters are one dimensional; but for the sake of padding my word count they include a former lifeguard cum supermarket stock boy (Xavier Samuel, “The Loved Ones”), his ex-fiancé’, Tina (Sharni Vinson, “Step Up 3D“), a cop and his delinquent daughter, and two would be robbers, Doyle (Julian McMahon, “Fantastic Four”) and his partner; whom I don’t recall is ever given a name. If this were an episode of “Star Trek” he would be wearing a red shirt. In fact, a lot of the characters in “Bait” would be wearing red shirts.
But strong characterization is not the reason why I wanted to see this movie. Ever since “Jaws” I’ve been a sucker for great white sharks and for killer shark movies. This time there are two killer sharks (three if you count the one in the prologue); one in the main shopping area of the supermarket and the other in the parking garage. I affectionately named them Sherman and Megan and can easily tell them apart; Megan does the shopping while Sherman waits by the car.
So is “Bait” as humorous as I make it out to be? Yes…and no. It’s funny because the irony of two sharks eating people in a supermarket is just something that I find incredibly hilarious. But my wife has once told me that I was a twisted man. It’s not funny for the same reasons. I guess it all depends on how you look at it.
- Bait 3D (2012) – Movie Review (rantandravereviews.com)
- Great White Sharks Tagged off Cape Cod (abcnews.go.com)
- Researchers capture, tag and release great white sharks off Cape Cod (tauntongazette.com)
- Win a Copy of Bait 3D and Bathe in its Blood-Filled Waters! (dreadcentral.com)
- New Bait 3D Clips Prove There’s Something in the Water (dreadcentral.com)
- AICN HORROR: Bug works out his fear of sharks with Kimble Rendall, director of the new shark film BAIT 3D!!! (aintitcool.com)
- Researchers tag great white sharks off Cape Cod (vindy.com)
- Researchers tag great white sharks off Cape Cod (sfgate.com)
- Win! One Of 5 Double Passes To Aussie Sharksploitation Movie: Bait 3D (gizmodo.com.au)
- Exclusive: Director Kimble Rendell Talks Sharks in a Supermarket for Bait 3D, Blowback and More (dreadcentral.com)
SNAKES ON A PLANE-Germany/United States/Canada-2006
Directed by David R. Ellis
Story by David Dalessandro and John Heffernan
Screenplay by John Heffernan and Sebastian Gutierrez
Considering the past couple of days that I have experienced at my job, I needed a completely bullshit movie like “Snakes on a Plane” to get my mind off of things. When I say bullshit movie I mean it with the highest level of respect. In fact, I think SOAP may indeed be the crown prince of the bullshit movies and director David R. Ellis (“Shark Night 3-D”, “Final Destination 2“) its anointed king.
Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips, “Wolf Creek”) witnesses mobster Eddie Kim beating a federal prosecutor to death with a baseball bat. It’s up to FBI agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson, “The Avengers”, “Pulp Fiction”) to keep Jones alive long enough to fly from Hawaii to L.A. to testify and put Kim away for life. Flynn and his partner commandeer first class on board a Boeing 747-400 to the chagrin of the rest of the passengers who now have to fly coach. Pissed-off pampered passengers are the least of Flynn’s worries; Eddie Kim has managed to have hundreds of venomous snakes of all species and sizes placed in the cargo hold of the plane. Not only that, but one of Kim’s flunkies has sprayed the complimentary leis with a pheromone to make the snakes think they’re going to get laid by some sexy female snake; therefore making them more aggressive in their attacks. Pretty soon you not only have snakes on a plane; but snakes on a tit, snakes on a penis, and snakes on God only knows what else. A more appropriate title for this movie would have been “Horny Snakes on a Plane”. If they ever make a porno parody I suggest they use that title. With the help of flight attendant Claire Miller (Julianna Margulies, “ER”, “The Good Wife”) in the air, and ophiologist Dr. Steven Price (Todd Louiso, “Jerry Maguire“) on the ground, can Flynn get rid of all those motherf*ckin’ snakes on this motherf*cking plane once and for all and get his witness to L.A. in one piece?
“Snakes on a Plane” is not going to win any major awards for its gripping storytelling and compelling portrayals. It’s a movie with one purpose, to take us away from reality for almost two hours and it performs that purpose very well. Every character in the movie is of the cookie cutter variety; you know who’s going to be bitten, constricted or swallowed whole on the basis of their personalities; i.e. the rude businessman or the couple joining the Mile High Club in the lavatory; one of whom is played by future John Carter, Taylor Kitsch. I didn’t care one way or the other who lived or died. “Snakes on a Plane” took my mind off my own problems and that is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Contrary to popular belief, Samuel L. Jackson’s agent insisted that the title be changed, because Jackson “couldn’t” work on a film with such a title. When Jackson heard about all of this he responded with the much cited comment, “We’re totally changing that back. That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title.”
450 snakes were used including one 22-foot-long Burmese python.
The filmmakers named the large Burmese python “Kitty”.
The phrase “snakes in the cockpit”, which is said in the film, is used by pilots in reference to the high number of complex tasks they have to accomplish.
The snakes in this film would be more likely to attack each other then humans. Would not deliver a fatal dose of venom and most likely would give a dry bite if they did bite instead of just hide.
- Snakes (rguyvan.wordpress.com)
- Samuel L. Jackson’s Political Message to America: ‘Wake the F – K Up!’ (Video) (observer.com)
- Man tries to take 27 snakes on plane at Orlando International Airport (clickondetroit.com)
- Commentary: Snakes on a Plane (ch2289.wordpress.com)
- The Frogmen’s Stupid News: Snakes On A Plane And A Hairy Chest Contest (kfrog.cbslocal.com)
- Experiential Marketing – The Best Way to Promote Movies? (digitalsurgeons.com)
- Feds bust Brazilian man who apparently thought Snakes on a Plane was a reality show [Fail] (fark.com)
- Man tried to take 27 snakes on plane in Orlando (tbo.com)
- Help! Snakes Are On My Feet! (heelme.org)
- Man tried to take 27 snakes on plane in Orlando (miamiherald.com)
DEEP BLUE SEA-United States/ Australia-1999
Directed by Renny Harlin
Written by Duncan Kennedy and Donna Powers and Wayne Powers
If you went to see “Deep Blue Sea” for its intelligent plot, Oscar-worthy acting and heart-wrenching drama then you are a complete dumb-ass. If you went to see “Deep Blue Sea” to watch dumb people get chewed, chomped and swallowed (no spitting here) by hyper-intelligent Mako sharks then welcome to my world. Why the hell else would you want to see this movie? Tell me; was it the scene where Samuel L. Jackson is delivering his ‘there’s no ‘I’ in team’ speech and gets rudely interrupted? How about when Saffron Burrows takes one for the team? Then there’s Stellan Skarsgård, who goes above and beyond the call of duty to give his right arm (or was it his left?) to further the cause of the killer sharks. To say that Skarsgård is the spearhead that leads the tiburón revolution is the understatement of the decade. Then there’s LL Cool J as the Bible-thumping, booze-swilling Sherman ‘Preacher’ Dudley. He’s no Robert Shaw, but the sharks ate his bird. Its payback time, bitches.
Despite the ridiculous nature of the plot, “Deep Blue Sea” is a load of fun and is arguably the best killer shark movie since “Jaws” from way back in 1975. “Deep Blue Sea” never once takes itself too seriously; it’s stupid as hell and it knows it. Face it, any movie with Thomas Jane as a guy that rides the sharks and pulls license plates out of their mouths is not going for “The Remains of the Day” or “Chariots of Fire” crowd.
- the license plate pulled from the shark’s teeth is the same plate found in the tiger shark in Jaws.
- Director Renny Harlin has a cameo as one of the employees leaving the facility early in the movie (he’s the one with long, blonde hair and sunglasses).
- The “Deep Blue Sea” of the Sun (universetoday.com)
- Look of the Day: Deep Blue Sea (fabsugar.com)
- Winnipeg Fringe Festival: Danny and the Deep Blue Sea; Made in Germany; Gametes and Gonads (bloodyunderrated.net)
- Jaws: 10 movies that were inspired by Steven Spielberg’s classic (digitalspy.co.uk)
- The Greatest Sharks In Video Games, Just In Time For Shark Week [Video] (kotaku.com)
- At the bottom of a deep blue sea (flourishbaking.wordpress.com)
- Egypt between the devil and the deep blue sea (redress.cc)
- Far into a deep blue sea. (zugeybernardino.wordpress.com)
- The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea – Egypt (bgtvmediaonline.wordpress.com)
- The Battle between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (thefrustratedpoet.wordpress.com)
Directed by Ron Underwood
Screenplay by S.S. Wilson, Brent Maddock
You know. I really cannot understand why “Tremors” did not at least win the Oscar for Best Actor upon its release in 1990. Okay, before you go raising your eyebrows and slowly make your way over to your phone to call the boys in the white coat to come get me, allow me to explain myself.
What is the general plot of “Tremors”? The general plot is that a shit-hole of a town with the truly ironic and not in an Alanis Morrisette who doesn’t the damn meaning of the word sort way name of Perfection is beset upon by a trio of subterranean gigantic worm-like creatures that see the dumber than dirt townsfolk as food. Kevin Bacon (“Footloose” and “X-Men: First Class”) and Fred Ward (“The Right Stuff” and “The Player”) are the slightly smarter than dirt good ole boys who come up with sort of a plan to get rid of the creatures. Well, they do have a little help from Finn Carter as a seismologist studying all the commotion these gargantuan fishing worms are causing. Do they manage to save the day and therefore the town? Well, think about it; there are three sequels and a TV series, so somebody must have survived.
So, I suppose you’re still trying to guess who should have won the Best Actor Academy Award. I bet you’re thinking it should be Kevin Bacon. Well, you would be so wrong. Is it Fred Ward, you wonder? That is not even close. I will give you a hint: the character overcomes two severe handicaps, one natural and one accidental, and is able to make a life for themselves despite their shortcomings. Now I’ll take a few seconds to let you think about it.
Do you give up?
It was the worm that Fred and Kevin’s characters referred to as ‘Stumpy’! Think about it; Stumpy was blind to begin with and then he got his tentacle amputated. Look at movies like “My Left Foot” and “Forrest Gump”. Hollywood loves to give the Oscar to the underdog. Jeremy Irons won for “Reversal of Fortune” in 1990; but I bet if Stumpy had been in the running he would have given Mr. Irons quite the run for his money. Either that or he would have just eaten him and taken his Oscar.
You now have permission to call the boys in the white coats. Oh, and by the way, did you really think I was going to take a movie like this seriously?
Michael Gross began filming one day after shooting the last episode of Family Ties.
Originally, the monsters were supposed to be completely dry, not slimy. This was changed when it was remarked that the gloss paint effect made them look like they were covered in nail varnish.
S.S. Wilson said that he got the idea for the film while he was working for the US Navy in the California desert. While resting on a rock, he imagined what it might be like if something underground kept him from getting off the rock.
First film as an actress of country music singer Reba McEntire.
- Tremors felt in north eastern states, no report of casualty (thehindu.com)
- ’2 Guns’ Recruits ‘Tremors’ Actor Fred Ward (splashpage.mtv.com)
- Kevin Bacon Endorses Kevin Bacon…and Logitech (bananascoop.com)
- Central Med tremor felt in Malta (timesofmalta.com)
- 41 gas emissions and low rumbling tremors: Popocatépetl simmers, bidding her time (theextinctionprotocol.wordpress.com)
- Mild tremors felt in Thrissur district (thehindu.com)
- ‘The Following’ at Comic-Con: Kevin Bacon Talks About His New TV Role (buddytv.com)
- Kevin Bacon takes a synchronized dive with pet pit bull Lily (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com)
- Ultrasound, not scalpel, treats tremors (futurity.org)
- Drug Money From Mexico Makes Its Way to the Racetrack (nytimes.com)
- Happy Birthday, Kevin Bacon!!! (kidzrockinc.co)
- Summer at Kevin Bacon’s Pool Looks Awesome [Video] (jezebel.com)
- Toward a Better Understanding of Earthquakes (terradaily.com)
- 6.1 magnitude earthquake tremors felt in Islamabad, KPK and other Punjab areas (nation.com.pk)
- Deep tremors are possible earthquake clues (upi.com)
- Tremors felt in parts of Kerala (thehindu.com)
- 5.8 earthquake in Afghanistan, tremors felt in Punjab, Kashmir (ndtv.com)
- Understanding Tectonic Tremor Signals (wiredcosmos.com)
- Toward a better understanding of earthquakes (esciencenews.com)
- Roadside stop leads to drug bust (muskogeephoenix.com)
- Slowing moving quakes last 30 minutes (stuff.co.nz)
Directed by Frank Marshall
Story by Don Jakoby and Al Williams
Screenplay by Don Jakoby and Wesley Strick
This movie bored the crap out of me. It can’t decide whether it wants to be a horror film about super-venomous arachnids or a Spielbergian Disney film about life in a small town with spiders. Jeff Daniels sleepwalks through the entire film and the rest of the cast is completely cookie-cutter in the style of small town country bumpkins. The only saving grace that this film has is a hilarious and all too brief performance by John Goodman as the local exterminator. Hell, the subject matter alone is enough to divide audiences. Everyone knows that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like spiders and those who do not. The former finds them to be fascinating and magnificent creatures; the latter carry not only a disdain, but a fear that causes them to shudder at the mere mention of the word ‘spider’ and total terror at the sight of one. Let’s not even mention the fact of what would happen if one were to actually crawl across their bare skin.
I think it’s because I fall into the former category that I found this movie to be so tedious. I love spiders. I found myself actually cheering for the spiders to put these cardboard characters out of their misery just a little bit quicker than the script called for. That may sound a bit on the cruel side, but I can dream, can’t I?
The small spiders used in the film were Avondale spiders (Delena Cancerides), a harmless species from New Zealand that were provided by Landcare Research in Auckland. Despite their fierce appearance, this spider is docile member of the crab-spider family and are, in fact, harmless to humans. They were not allowed back in New Zealand for quarantine reasons. The giant “spider” used in the film was a species of a bird-eating tarantula, which attains an 8″ legspan or more. Those types of tarantula are not easy to handle and can give a nasty bite. The spiders in the film were managed and handled by famed entomologist Steven R. Kutcher.
The first film released under Disney’s Hollywood Pictures label, which was also created so the studio could release more adult-oriented fare.
The sound of a spider being crushed by John Goodman was made by the foley artists crushing a couple of potato chips.
- Arachnophobia and Love Revisited (mthupp.wordpress.com)
- What Are You Scared Of? (hothits957.cbslocal.com)
- 2-Hour Therapy May Cure Arachnophobia (dfw.cbslocal.com)
- Ophidiophobia vs. Arachnophobia, Can You Dare To Watch This? (4us2be.com)
- Video: Anthony Mackie Talks Arachnophobia, Ledges, and Who He Recently Punched (popsugar.com)
- arachnophobia sclient psy (elyreeder.typepad.com)
- Fear of spiders? You can escape that web (suntimes.com)
- For Actors With Six Legs or More, Call the Bug Wrangler (wired.com)
- Fear of Spiders (scardykat.wordpress.com)
- Spider sex (thehouseofvines.wordpress.com)
- Freaky or Fabulous? Giles’s Spring Spiders (fabsugar.com)
- Why Am I Afraid of Spiders? (scribblesaurus.com)
- Warning: Do Not Try to Film Spiders! Stay Away From Spiders! (videogum.com)
- Arachnophobia cured within three hours (thesciencebulletin.wordpress.com)
- Should You Be Afraid of These? (everydayhealth.com)
- Cure for Spider Phobia (neatorama.com)
PIRANHA 3DD-United States-2012
Directed by John Gulager
Characters by Peter Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the water park. John Gulager (“Feast”) picks up where Alexandre Aja left off with “Piranha 3DD”. This time the prehistoric fish wreak havoc on an adult water park on its very first day of business. The park comes complete with lifeguard strippers and special guest star David Hasselhoff.Here is a movie that takes the mutated monster fish sub-genre (if there ever was one to begin with) to a whole new level of ridiculous. “Piranha 3DD” is a movie that would make Herschel Gordon Lewis and Hugh Hefner equally proud. The film is a mash-up of blood and boobs, gore and gams and any other body part these ichthyologic beasties can put in their mouths. The piranha goes from anal to oral in this one and you just have to see it for yourself to believe it.
The plot behind the whole shebang is that the fanged flippers make their way from Lake Victoria to the water park to wreak their havoc. The explanation for how they get from one place to another is so half-ass that we pay no attention to it at all. But then again, that’s the idea. “Piranha 3DD isn’t about style and substance. Nobody is going to be collecting a statue on Oscar night for their efforts. But then again, I do believe they could be in the running for an AVN award for the best depiction of ‘blowjob by piranha.’ The little snapper gave head until it hurt. Ouch!
The first entry in the “Piranha” series to be entirely filmed in 3D.
- Go Behind-the-Scenes of Piranha 3DD … Again! (dreadcentral.com)
- Which Celebrities Didn’t Make the Cut in Piranha 3DD? (dreadcentral.com)
- Piranha 3DD Review Swims In (dreadcentral.com)
- More Piranha 3DD Clips Come Running to the Rescue (dreadcentral.com)
- Piranha 3DD chums with the cheese (lfpress.com)
- Ridiculous Horror Movies: 15 Films More Nuts Than ‘Piranha 3DD’ (PHOTOS) (news.moviefone.com)
- The bad guy of Piranha 3DD tells us about his aquatic swingers’ club [Video] (io9.com)
- Piranha 3DD Red Band Trailer Unleashed (dreadcentral.com)
- ‘Piranha 3DD’ delivers everything in its title (abclocal.go.com)
- Piranha 3DD: Project Greenlight 3′s winners collaborate again (realityblurred.com)
MIMIC: The Director’s Cut-United States-1997
Directed by Guillermo del Toro
Screenplay by Matthew Robbins and Guillermo del Toro
Screen Story by Matthew Robbins and Guillermo del Toro
Based on the short story by Donald A. Wollheim
It’s taken me a long time to watch “Mimic” again since its release in 1997. I went with a friend of mine and her mother and all I could think about during the entire film was how muddled of a mess the film was in general. Well, that and how the butter on my popcorn smelled like piss. Anyway, my point is that a better title for “Mimic” would have been “Mess”. There seemed to be no discernible plot line and the film as a whole seemed as if too many people had their hand in the cookie jar. It turns out that I was right; it seems that although the film was directed by Guillermo del Toro (“The Devil’s Backbone”), it appeared that he was constantly being undermined by the film’s producer Bob Weinstein. So much so that del Toro has refused to work with the Weinstein’s ever since then. As for “Mimic” it remained a “Mess” until the director’s cut was released. That’s where I come in.
“Mimic” is about a husband and wife team of scientists (Mira Sorvino and Jeremy Northam) who create a super bug to help wipe out the cockroach population in the city of Manhattan. The roaches carry a disease that threatens to wipe out the population of our children. Anyway, the bugs are supposed to do their job and then die out within a hundred and eighty days. Cut to three years later and we’ve got a whole new set of problems. The bugs that were supposed to die after 3 months have survived and have learned to mimic their predators. Now, go back and re-read that last sentence. Did you read it? Good. So, what is the biggest enemy of the common cockroach? I’ll give you a hint: it wears shoes. Yep, it’s man that they are mimicking. So now it’s up to the scientists to figure a way to get rid of this entomological threat before it leaves Manhattan and spreads itself out across the globe. For those of you who have never seen “Mimic” I can tell you that the end of the film involves a really big can of raid and the dance team from STOMP! I’m just kidding.
I guess my biggest question is why would you even want to try to tell Guillermo del Toro how to make a movie, much less a horror film? That’s like telling Michelangelo how to paint. del Toro has always been known for taking his audiences into dark worlds filled with dangerous creatures. “Mimic” is no exception as del Toro makes underground Manhattan his own personal labyrinth. The same film that I found myself detesting in 1997 is now a film that, despite a few minor flaws, is now a film that I would list as a favorite. All it took for that to happen was for everyone to stay out of the maestro’s way.
Director Guillermo del Toro disowned the film after constant clashes with Bob Weinstein, who would frequently visit the set and make unreasonable demands about what should be shot, deviating away from the script. Since then del Toro has never worked with the Weinsteins.
The scene where Mira Sorvino and Jeremy Northam walk in the hall with all the sick kids lying in their beds was actually directed by Ole Bornedal, one of the producers on the film.
The escalator in Delancey Street subway station is shown as dismantled for maintenance because the scene was filmed on a Toronto subway station platform that was closed in 1966, so its escalator was removed.
- Mira Sorvino Welcomes Fourth Child (celebritybabies.people.com)
- New Mimic Box Set on its Way (dreadcentral.com)
- The Devil’s Backbone (jmountswritteninblood.com)
- Guillermo del Toro Producing Animated ‘Day of the Dead’ Feature (slashfilm.com)
- Guillermo del Toro to Co-Write Hotel Murder Film THE BLOODY BENDERS (geektyrant.com)
- Mira Sorvino Welcomes Fourth Child! (eonline.com)
- Guillermo Del Toro’s New Project (hispanicallyspeakingnews.com)
- Guillermo del Toro to lead four-night Hitchcock class (ctv.ca)
- Mira Sorvino gives birth to fourth child (upi.com)
- Guillermo del Toro Officially Directing Emma Watson in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (geektyrant.com)
- Guillermo del Toro Takes on Beauty and the Beast (dreadcentral.com)
- Guillermo del Toro Looking to Check in with The Bloody Benders (dreadcentral.com)
- Guillermo del Toro and Angryfilms to Option Spec Script THE BLOODY BENDERS (collider.com)
- Guillermo del Toro’s Hatbox Ghost Design for HAUNTED MANSION? (geektyrant.com)
- Guillermo Del Toro Teams With Angry Films On ‘The Bloody Benders’ Spec (deadline.com)
- Love It or Hate It? Mira Sorvino’s Intentionally Grown-Out Roots (bellasugar.com)
Directed by William Grefe
Written by William Grefe and Gary Crutcher
Story by William Grefe
Stanley is about as bad a movie as you are ever likely to see in this lifetime. The acting is on the level of toddlers playing make believe in a sandbox, the direction is non-existent, there is absolutely no suspense and the whole thing is just downright ridiculous to the point of being painful to watch. So would someone please tell me just why I ended up liking this piece of shit when it was all said and done?
Thinking about it, I think the reason is because Stanley reminds me of my childhood. It’s hard to believe, but I remember vividly the commercials that used to play that would advertise the movie. Stanley is a reminder of a happier time in my life. A time where I was happy being a kid with no worries about the future and no regrets about the past. I was 10 years old in 1972 and I didn’t know the first thing about life being about ‘bitches’ or money (Ice Cube reference; never did one, threw it in there). Life to me was about bicycles and being with my friends and playing until it got dark and my mom would yell at me to bring my butt in the house.
Okay, so I got off the subject a bit. What’s Stanley about? Well, Stanley is about a disgruntled war veteran and Seminole Indian who uses snakes to get even with the people who have wronged him. That’s the plot. The film stars Chris Robinson as Tim, the pissed off Indian and vet; and Alex Rocco as Thomkins, his sworn enemy. It’s funny, but this was only Rocco’s second film after playing Moe Greene in The Godfather. So that means that I found myself doing a lot of ad-libbing when he was on camera with the snakes. “This snake wants to bite me? No, I bite this snake. This snake doesn’t bite me.” What can I say? I’m weird. Deal with it, my wife does.
Anyway, Stanley is a nostalgic piece of shit that I loved in spite of myself.
Snake wrangler Frank Weed can be seen in the film as the man milking the rattlesnake.
On the first day of filming, the filmmakers discovered that the cabin intended for use as an exterior had been knocked down. Everybody pitched in to help rebuild the cabin in a hurry.
Screenwriter Gary Crutcher basically had one weekend to finish the script, as it was needed by the following Tuesday.
- 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs on Facebook: It’s A Flyers Nation [INFOGRAPHIC] (bostinno.com)
- A Snake!!! A Snake!! (sparhawkscottiedogs.com)
- Alex Rocco Goes Gangsta Again (scifitalk.com)
- Don’t Look If You’re Afraid of Snakes… (bellasugar.com)
- How illusions trick the brain: ‘Rotating Snakes’ appear to dance (sciencedaily.com)
- Garden Life… (susangreene.typepad.com)
- Most Poisonous Snake (mademan.com)
- Film: Random Roles: Alex Rocco talks about Magic City, The Godfather and more (avclub.com)
- São Paulo: Instituto Butantan (portugueseblog.org)
- Trend Alert: Snake Motifs (fabsugar.com)
- Stanley Joins Ideavillage, Named SVP-CMO (prweb.com)
- Stanley D. Bernstein Honored as One of “The Most Influential People in the Boardroom” For the Third Consecutive Year (prweb.com)
- Benzinga: Why Stanley Black & Decker? (SWK) (wire.kapitall.com)
- Where in the World is Flat Stanley? (futureflyingsaucers.wordpress.com)
- How to Protect Yourself from a Smart Meter (habwwe.wordpress.com)
- Stanley Cup Playoffs 2012: Adam Larsson Leads the Assault Against the Flyers (bleacherreport.com)
- Stanley Johnson, Mater Dei Forward Receives Offer From Missouri (losangeles.sbnation.com)
- NHL Playoffs: Memorable Stanley Cup Raising Moments (bleacherreport.com)
- Now (for Henry Shikongo) (playfix.wordpress.com)
- Stanley Cup playoffs Day 21: Caption contest (cbc.ca)
- Al Mohler, Homosexuality, and the “New Liberalism” by Peter Lumpkins (peterlumpkins.typepad.com)
- Story Alert: Jamie Grefe at New Dead Families (vouchedbooks.com)
- A list of unused titles for Dr. Strangelove, lifted from Stanley Kubrick’s notebooks [Stanley Kubrick] (io9.com)
- Justin Timberlake to Design Homes (inquisitr.com)
- Derek Dooley, Stanley Morgan tie for 8th in golf event (govolsxtra.com)
- Does this Obama poem sound man-boy gay to you? (fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com)
- Stanley Cup Odds 2012: Breaking Down Each Remaining Playoff Teams Chances (bleacherreport.com)
- Man with snake reported in Public Square (newsnet5.com)
- Stanley Donwood (mplant.wordpress.com)
- Only On CBS2: Boy Bitten By Rattlesnake While Saving Younger Brother (losangeles.cbslocal.com)
- WATCH: Heroic Boy Saves Toddler From Rattlesnake (huffingtonpost.com)
PIRANHA -United States-2010
Directed by Alexandre Aja
Written by Peter Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg
Authors’ note- The following commentary is a dramatization. I am going to be 50 soon, and that much is true. However, I am a happily married man and have never had opportunity or the need to watch a GGW video. This was all just a way of saying that I wish the director would have made up his mind. Boobs or blood, Mr. Aja, what’s it going to be?
I’m going to be 50 years old in a little under 2 weeks. Having never seen a Girls Gone Wild video in its entirety, I thought now would be as good a time as any. I went to the video store and I got this one that had this hot babe sunbathing on a red raft on what appears to be a peaceful lake. She’s all kicked back with her barely there bikini and her dark sunglasses covering her eyes. I took it home and I popped the disc in my trusty player and sat back to enjoy the bouncing hooters and gyrating buttocks. This one was a really good one! Woo hoo! It had a little something for everybody! There’s Kelly Brook and Riley Steele cavorting naked underwater like dolphins. There’s Jessica Sour looking all cute so that the younger male viewers can be happy. There’s even Elisabeth Shue in the film for the older viewers such as myself. It’s funny, though; they have her dressed as a sheriff in this one. But still, she’s really hot! It must have been some sort of role playing thing.
So, I’m enjoying all this girly action and all of a sudden these really mean fish with obscenely large teeth commence to chewing up and spitting out all the bodacious babes and voluptuous beauties. Pretty soon the whole thing breaks down in a shower of guts and gore. It’s not just the boobies that suffer; this one guy suffers such an emasculating injury before being chewed to pieces I can’t even mention it without wincing.
What the hell is this movie?!? I thought for sure I’d picked up a Girls Gone Wild video. I hit pause and picked up the DVD case to examine it more closely. What do you know? My hand had covered up the cover earlier. There it was in big red letters-PIRANHA. I flipped the cover over and read the description. Oh, so this is supposed to be a horror film? In fact, it’s supposed to be a remake of the Joe Dante B-movie classic; which itself was a parody of Jaws. According to the credits, this one was directed by Alexandre Aja. Oh yeah, I thought, he directed High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes remake and they were really good. I don’t really know what to say about Piranha, though. Two things come to mind:
- For a Girls Gone Wild movie, Alexandre Aja has made a pretty decent horror film.
- For a horror film, Alexandre Aja has made a pretty decent Girls Gone Wild movie.
I guess it’s all in how you look at it.
- Inside Horror: Episode 5 – Alexandre Aja Talks Maniac Remake and So Much More! (dreadcentral.com)
- Alexandre Aja to Direct Joe HIll’s Horror Story HORNS (geektyrant.com)
- PIRANHA 3DD – 2 International Posters (geektyrant.com)
- Filmmakers and Cast Debut Gruesome New Footage for PIRANHA 3D; Recap Along with Highlights From Q&A (collider.com)
LAKE PLACID-United States-1999
I wonder if Betty White has ever wanted to give that crocodile from Lake Placid a kiss right on its scaly lips. Looking back, it was her role in the ‘giant croc on a rampage’ film that was the moment in time where it became tres cool to be Betty. In fact, if you think about it, after the release of this monstrosity of an atrocity, the only cast member to have anything remotely resembling a successful career has been the aforementioned geriatric firecracker. Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda are off the radar entirely, and Oliver Platt has made one or two films here and there; the most notable of late being X-men: First Class.
Then there’s Betty White. She has her own show, Hot in Cleveland; she’s hosted Saturday Night Live and has been on numerous talk shows. If they made a poster of her there would be a slew of elderly men holding that baby up with just one hand. Yes, Lake Placid was the dawning of the Age of Betty.
The plot of the film, for those of you who give a crap, is that a giant crocodile makes its summer home on Lake Placid. Like all large, obnoxious guests, it makes it very clear that it’s not leaving anytime soon and that it’s going to eat everything in sight, meaning us. Bill Pullman is the local game warden and Brendan Gleeson the local sheriff, or something to that effect. Whatever, they have badges and guns, so who cares? Bridget Fonda is a scientist who just had a nasty breakup with her boyfriend and is in full metal bitchy mode throughout most of the film. She’s there as a consultant after the new neighbor bites a scuba diver in half. Oliver Platt is your stereotypical goofball with his own special way of communicating with the great crocodile nasty. You could say he’s a chubby Steve Irwin, only not as annoying. All three of these performers take their roles entirely too seriously and that only serves to make the film even more ridiculous. The only cast member having any fun is Betty White. She takes her role as Mrs. Delores Bickerman and runs with it. Go Betty, Go Betty.
Lake Placid is directed by Steve Miner of Friday the 13th Part 2 and Friday the 13th Part 3-D fame. I wonder who was easier to work with; Jason Voorhees or the giant crocodile? My money is on Jason. The film is written by David E. Kelley; the same David E. Kelley who was the driving force behind critically acclaimed shows such as Chicago Hope, Picket Fences and Ally McBeal.
If you ask someone if they want to watch this film, they will usually say “I don’t want to watch some stupid crocodile movie.” Tell them it has Betty White in it and watch how fast they change their minds.
- A Nightmare on Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (dreadcentral.com)
- SyFy Nabs Robert Englund For New Lake Placid (scifitalk.com)
- Scared Silly: Top 31 Horror Comedies – Part 2 (shootingthescript.wordpress.com)
- See Betty White Through the Years (bellasugar.com)
- Betty White From Golden Girl to It Girl (onlineupdaters.wordpress.com)
- Betty White’s 90th Birthday: Celebs, Laughs, And A Marriage Proposal (pinkbananaworld.com)
- Photos: Betty White and other sexy seniors (vancouversun.com)