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Category Archives: Random Ramblings

WHY I TOOK MYSELF OUT OF THE BLOGGING GAME

Feb 7

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I’m not really sure how to start this post. About a month or so ago I posted what was nothing more than a ‘Sorry, We’re Closed’ sign to give the indication that I was through with blogging. For the most part, that’s a true statement. However, posting a post like this without giving any solid reason is not a fair thing to do. So this, take it or leave it, is my explanation as to why. It’s quite simple and it all boils down to one solid reason:

I love my wife.

When my wife and I first met, neither one of us had any intention of ‘getting serious’ and having the other as their sole companion. We figured we would date a bit, go out for drinks, shoot pool, sing karaoke (yes, we sing karaoke) and just have a little fun. But then one day we were together and she looked at me and said, “I’m just crazy about you”; and I knew right then and there that the feeling was mutual. That day I knew that I had found someone that was special to me in ways I couldn’t begin to imagine. Here was a woman that I knew was not only going to one day become my wife; but she was also going to be my best friend and my soul mate. My wife has done more for me and my life and my self-esteem than anyone I have ever known. She is patient, loving and gentle when she needs to be; and she is quick to hold me accountable for my bullshit when I tend to act like an ass. One of the things I used to do with her was that I would point at her, and then at myself and then mimic tying a bow between us and I would mouth the words, ‘you complete me’. To some, that would be a hokey, nausea inducing gesture. To the two of us, nothing could have been truer.

But then I started writing this blog. Everything went well to begin with and my wife was, and still is, my biggest fan. The trouble is not her fault. The trouble is my fault. This blog began to consume my time. My wife would go to bed alone at night while I sat in a dark room watching some movie just so I could say a few witty words about it for the entire world to see. I neglected her more and more and the thing is that because I was doing so great with the blog I just couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Here was a woman that loved me with all her heart and I was brushing her off like so much dandruff from my shoulders. But one day, early 2013, the back broke and the camel collapsed. In December I made the goal that I was going to post at least once a day, every day from the 1st to the 31st. I did it; and it exhausted me. I took a few days off at the beginning of January and then wrote my review for Fright Night. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks tossed by the Incredible Hulk at a distance of only five feet. Allow me to explain.

I was at my laptop one night trying to think of what to do for my next post when I heard my wife clear her throat from our bedroom across the hall. WHAM! BRICKS UPSIDE MY HEAD!! HULK SMASH!!! I thought to myself, what am I doing? Is this blog more important than a wife who loves you with all her heart? Is it worth losing her over a few witty words? Let me answer that in the most eloquent manner I can come up with.

Hell. No.

I turned off the computer and I went into the bedroom and I held my wife and I told her I loved her.

I made a choice. I chose my wife. I have my best friend and my soul mate back. I will never let anyone or anything get in the way of that ever again.

Thank you.

 

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Werewolf, Vampire or Zombie?

Nov 18

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Okay, I’m feeling lazy today; so that means I want to get a post in without putting a lot of effort into it. Now, now don’t raise your eyebrows at me. We’ve all been down Lazy Highway at one time or another. Anyway, short and sweet today; which of these three monsters would you want to be and why?

WEREWOLF

VAMPIRE

ZOMBIE

Take your pick; which one and why?

I can’t wait to read your answers.

Take care and stay scared!

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500 and the Love of My Life

Nov 17

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No, 500 is not a sequel to 300. This is my 500th post for this blog, Written in Blood. It’s 1:20 in the morning and I’m standing at the back of my Versa with the hatch open and my laptop perched on that shelf that’s back there. I’m just sitting here thinking to myself, “What do I want to write about for number 500?” The fact that I’m shocked that I even made it to such a high number is an entire article in itself. I figured people would get tired of me after 5 posts, let alone 500. But you’ve stuck by me and I’m grateful for that. Then it dawned on me; that that was it, gratefulness, and thankfulness. Not exactly the sort of thing that a guy who writes about horror would tackle for a topic; but then again this post isn’t about horror. So close to Thanksgiving, this post is about the one thing that I am most thankful for in this world: my wife.

I met my wife, Phyllis, in May of 2006. I had just come off of a 5 year marriage to a woman who saw me more as a paycheck than a lover or friend. Anyway, Phyllis and I started dating and pretty soon we both realized that we were both what the other had been looking for all along. I had never had anyone in my life that I could call my best friend until the day that I met her. I wake up every day because I want to see her face. I go to work because I want to provide for her. I hold her hand, kiss her and tell her that I love because I want her to know that she is special and important to me. My wife is the reason I write this blog; because she has believed in me from day one and has been my number one fan through and through. Now don’t get me wrong, things aren’t always perfect between the two of us and I’m even thankful for that. I didn’t marry a Stepford wife; I married a woman that is funny, sweet, talented and tough as nails. When I worked security at the hospital I had an incident occur where I nearly got into a physical altercation with a visitor that was overstepping the boundaries of the facilities’ hospitality. There was ten minutes to go in my shift and my wife was waiting for me and when she saw that the guy’s girlfriend was going to try to get involved she was right there beside me to back me up. She was like the Robin to my Batman that night; or to be more specific the Redhead to my Short Guy.

I love my wife and I am not ashamed to say it. Any man that cannot or will not say that he loves his wife is no man at all in my book. My wife has put up with a lot from me and she has always been there for me. I just can’t emphasize that point enough. She is my best friend and my soul mate, my true companion on this amazing journey through life. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t tell I love her as many times as I can.

So, in closing, here is what I want you, reader, to do; I want you to get up from your computer and I want you to put your arm around your spouse and I want you to tell them that you love them. If they look at you funny or start to call 911 it just means you’re not doing it enough in the first place. I know it sounds corny and mushy, but do it anyway. Just ask yourself what if it was the last chance you ever got to tell them?

I want to thank each and every one of you for helping me on the road to 500 posts. I have met some amazing and talented people while writing this blog and I count each and every one of you as a friend. Here’s to 500 more posts and meeting even more friends along the way.

TRIVIA

My wife is well versed in American Sign Language and has been a good teacher to me as I learn the language.

My wife loves martial arts and is a yellow belt in karate. She even has our grandchildren taking classes.

My wife has a beautiful singing voice.

My wife and I love to watch TV together. Our favorite shows are Dexter, The Walking Dead, The Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds and we are finishing season 4 of the first seven seasons of Supernatural.

Jeopardy Answer: She is known as the only woman feared by Chuck Norris. Jeopardy Question: Who is my wife?

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TURN OFF THE FAN, I GOT SHIT TO GET OFF MY CHEST

Oct 12

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I’m going to come right out and say it; for the past few weeks writing this blog has been like pulling out my wisdom teeth with no anesthetic. I have not wanted to watch any movies and I have certainly not wanted to write about them. For those of you out there who have taken the time to ask why I will be glad to tell you and I intend to be brutally honest.

I was jealous.

I was jealous because I would look at all these other blogs and I would see all these people commenting and ‘liking’ and I would think ‘gee, I never get that many ‘likes’ or comments’. I write and I write and I blog and I blog and I feel like I’m running in circles. I’ve even dropped subtle hints to let people know that I love hearing from them and that I will answer them back. I read other people’s blogs and I try to comment when I have something to say. For the longest time I have loved writing this blog. I love horror movies and I love watching them and writing about them. I may not be Roger Ebert or Joe Bob Briggs but guess what; I don’t want to be. My name is John Mountain and I have my own voice and my own style and for these past few weeks I have let personal jealousy ruin the joy that I have for what I do. Don’t get me wrong; I am not jealous of any of you as human beings. It has been my absolute pleasure to get to know each and every one of you. All of you are excellent at what you do. This is not your fault, this jealousy. The blame lies entirely on my shoulders.

So now what?

Now is when I begin to take control. I will tell myself every day that it doesn’t matter how many ‘likes’ this article got or how many comments that article got. What matters is what I do and why I do it. I am the owner and operator of Written in Blood. There is no other horror film blog out there that is quite like it. It may not be the best and it may not have the most fans, but it is all mine and it is something that I am good at. So in closing I will say that I hope there are no hard feelings from any of you. From now on I will write this blog not because I want to get lots of page views or ‘likes’ or comments but because I am doing something I love and I am pretty motherfucking good at it.

Thank you.

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I’ve Got Questions. Do You Have Answers?

Aug 9

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WARNING: THESE QUESTIONS ARE TOTALLY RANDOM AND MAY GET A BIT RAUNCHY. 

What’s your favorite movie of all time? (I might as well get that one out of the way)

If you could raise any celebrity from the dead, who would it be and why?

Zombies are hot on your tail. Do you trip the person beside you?

What’s your all-time favorite book?

What’s the strangest thing you ever purchased online?

You just got a job in the adult film industry, but there’s no way you want your friends to find out. What would your porn star name be?

You have total control of your favorite horror movie villain. What do you do? What do you do?

You’re sitting at the counter of your favorite diner and Elvis sits down beside you. What do you say to him?

What’s your all-time favorite album? (For those of you who don’t know what an album is, it’s a larger CD)

If you could keep any actor/actress chained in your basement to stop them from making another movie, who would it be?

A genie appears and says that due to budget cuts he can only grant you one wish. What would you wish for? Make it a good one.

What would be your idea of the ultimate bad day?

You’ve been given the power of X-ray vision. Where’s the first place you look?

If you could have intimate relations with any cartoon character, which one would it be?

You just found out they’re going to make a movie about your life. Who’s going to play you?

If you could eat at only one restaurant for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

You wake up naked on your front lawn with a blow up doll and surrounded by neighbors. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?

Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel or Jessica Rabbit; who’s sexier?

You just won $50,000,000 in the lottery. Do you quit your job gracefully or tell your boss to kiss your ass?

For the ladies we have a two foot tall Johnny Depp or a ten foot tall Tom Cruise. For the men we have a two foot tall Megan Fox or a ten foot tall Scarlett Johansson. Do you get down and dirty or does someone have to put you up to it?

I await your answers. Have fun. I did.

      

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Another Award and I Can Still Keep My Humility

Jul 1

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Okay, so my good friend and fellow blogger Jamie has decided that I am worthy of the Versatile Blogger award. Well, I mean she nominated me; I’m not sure if that means I have it or not. So once again, I have to do a few required things to show my appreciation for all this. Here’s what I have to do and for those of you that I choose you have to do them do also. I know it’s a vicious circle.

I have to nominate and link to 10 fellow bloggers. Here we go!

1. Alex Laybourne

2. LadyRomp

3. Creature With the Atom Brain

4. Mike’s Film Talk

5. Cookiemomma’s Blog

6. Head in a Vice

7. TheBruce

8. tumultuousjourney

9. Tim the Film Guy

10. You Jivin’ Me, Turkey?

Whew, that was not easy. Personally I think everyone does a great job. It’s hard to pick just 10 or 7 or however many. Let’s see, what do we have to do next? Oh. Okay, add the Versatile Blogger Award. Easy enough:

Voila!

Next up I need to thank Jamie of Aloha Mister Hand and include a link back to her blog. Thank you, Jamie. I truly appreciate and am humble by this nomination. You truly rock!

Oh, and now I have to post the rules:

1. In a post on your blog, nominate 10 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award; and link to them.

2. In the same post, add the Versatile Blogger Award.

3. In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.

4. In the same post, share 10 completely random pieces of information about yourself.

5. In the same post, include this set of rules.

6. Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.

Finally I have to mention 10 random things about myself. I already sent everyone I nominated a comment.

1. I love video games. However, they can’t stand the sight of me.

2. More likely than not, I am bi-polar.

3. I have a very difficult time making decisions.

4. I started this blog because I wanted to find something I was good at doing.

5. I love professional wrestling, fake or not.

6. I have 2 guinea pigs named Alice and Annabel, 2 mice named Edgar Allan and Poe and two dogs named Bella and Clarice.

7. I have a fascination with serial killers

8. I swear way too fucking much

9. I don’t like change.

10.

I choose to leave number 10 blank. I’m a work in progress

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Okay, So I Got This Award…

Jun 30

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My friend Anna Walls of the great state of Alaska has been kind enough to give me an award for my blog. In the most humble manner of speaking I am not sure why or whether or not I actually even deserve it. Nonetheless, I accept it and I appreciate it. However, with great power comes great responsibility and it is now my task to list 7 things about myself as well as 7 people whom I think are deserving of this award:

I also have to tell them I am nominating them for the award or something like that. Anyway, here goes:

7 Things about Me:

1. I have anger issues and I don’t really know why. I am blessed with a loving wife, a roof over my head and a steady job. Yet I have been plagued by this most of my life.

2. I have more friends on the internet, who I have never physically met, than I do in the rest of my life.

3. I am not a sheep. I do not like music because everyone else likes it or movies because everyone thinks they are the greatest movie ever. A wise man once said that just because something is popular does not mean it is good.

4. I believe in God.

5. I used to think that my opinion was the only one that mattered. I’d like to think that view has changed. I don’t think I would be getting this award if it hadn’t.

6. If I watch a film where the characters have foreign accents I tend to take on the accent as my own for a while. It’s very strange.

7. I have an addiction that I wish I could overcome. By the way, it’s not drugs or alcohol. It’s not food, either.

Okay, so now I have to list 7 bloggers who I feel deserve this award. Wow, that’s kind of a tough thing to do; not because I don’t think there are 7 who deserve it, but because I think there are way more than 7 who deserve it. Alas, the magic number is 7, so here goes.

1. Derek at Its Latin for Cookies!

2. Best Horror Movies

3. Anna Walls

4. Sonia Rumzi

5. Tashtoo

6. Mike

7. Aloha Mister Hand

There you are; seven bloggers who I feel deserve this award. My final task is that I’m supposed to contact them and let them know and I have done just that. So, I guess the only thing left for me to do is simply say…

…Thank you.

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100,000 Thank You’s!

Jun 14

Posted by

Thank you to Nathanael and Mollie Munn for giving me the opportunity to write reviews for their great magazine Arcanum Axiom. The two of you have been great friends ever since I got to know you.

Thank you to writer/director Eduardo Sanchez (Lovely Molly, The Blair Witch Project), author Brian Easton (The Autobiography of a Werewolf Hunter), actress Dee Wallace (The Howling, Cujo), director Christina Raia (Summit), actress Tuesday Knight (A Nightmare on Elm Street IV) and founder Joe Ripple (Scares That Care) for granting me some awesome interviews and for being patient with a guy who’s new to all this and was winging it every step of the way.

Thank you if you liked me on facebook, mentioned me on twitter, dugg me on digg, read me on reddit, linked me on linkedin or did any of those odd sounding things that people do on social networks with funny names.

Thank you to the following people who have chosen to follow Written in Blood via e-mail or subscription. The list below is their user names; each one of which has a link to their respective blogs or websites. Click on them; they are all great and they all have something for everyone whatever your interest may be.

cookiemomma-Cookemomma’s Blog

LOstnWOnderland-LOstnWOnderland

TheBruce-Night Train to ¡Mundo Terrible!

cmoneyspinner-Google+ profile

Tysoncarter-Head in a Vice

Marc Winger-Marc Winger

Coco J. Ginger-Coco J. Ginger Says

Iverawrites-Iverawrites

thistoday-This Today

krantostudijos-krantostudijos

beautybystyle-Beautybystyle

Creature with the Atom Brain-Creature with the Atom Brain

tumultuousjourney-tumultousjourney

Bias the Black-biastheblack

chyrondave-My Two Cents

Derek-It’s Latin For Cookies!

Tim The Film Guy-Tim’s Film Reviews

Shimky-Wonderful Cinema

Cinephile Ignoramus-marked private by user

youjivinmeturkey-”You Jivin’ Me, Turkey?”

djpekky-no blog address listed

justwilliam1959-no blog address listed

greencarbon2112-greencarbon2112

AndyK-no blog address listed

claratsi-ClaratsiMovieBlog

Wednesday’s Child-Deep Red Rum

annawalls-Anna’s Philosphy

Best Horror Movies-Best Horror Movies

aliviachingu-aliviachingu

foodiespinster-Spinster Foodie

aaronebrown-the Budding Journalist blog

IRWAN NOVIANTO-oneputri

ladyromp-LafyRomp

tashtoo-~The Tashtoo Parlour~

Love Your Movies-No longer available

Mike-Badasses, Boobs and Body Counts

ღDreams☆of☆Shadowღ -ღDreams☆of☆Shadowღ 

AndyWatchesMovies-Andy Watches Movies

Aloha Mister Hand-Aloha Mister Hand

colincarman-CINEMAWOLF

cannon_lab-no blog address listed

moviegarden-no longer available

iswandie78-allfree7396

ooa revo-ooamerica: ooa’s USA Road Trip

The Seemingly Omnipotent Scroo Loose-The Legendary Scroo Loose

Lenz Scherer-Blabbercash.com

ediliociclostile -Edilio Ciclostile-I buzz into your head

bonanzaetfils -bonanzaetfils

save22-2SAVE2

fanboytheatre-FANBOY THEATRE-FAN FILMS & REVIEWS

baddestblogger-Baddestblogger’s Blog

williamcookwriter-BLOOD RELATED by William Cook

adambellotto-Eat. Sleep, Television

Loup L’Orange-Simple Terrors

jeanpaullefrey-you know who you are :-)

SLAPAHOE-!SLAP A HOE!

ariefz75 -My blog collection arts design individu

weareliterarycritics-weareliterarycritics

alexlaybourne-Official Site of Alex Laybourne-Author

SoniaRumzi-Sonia Rumzi

belchdini-stabs in the dark

onlinehitchhiker-MEMEOPINIONS

Real Fiction Studios-realfictionstudios

Athena-Athena’s Advice

kurtivanyu-Authorized Access Only-Rubbish thoughts of Mr. Yu

dawnwylder-Love is worth the fall

anatheimp-Ana the Imp

Adriene (Sweepy Jean)-Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World 4.7

Abiel Disciple-page not found

So, why am I thanking all these people and listing all these blogs and websites and the like? Well, there is a very simple answer for that question. As of June 14, 2012 my blog Written in Blood surpassed the 100,000 page view mark. For a guy who started this blog in November of 2010 and who never expected to even reach a thousand page views the feeling of achievement I have is awesome. However, the feeling of gratitude is even more awesome. Thanks to each and every one of you who stopped by, even if it was only for a split second. Thank you, thank you and here’s to the next 100,ooo!!

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Hello Out There

Jun 5

Posted by

I just want to take the time to apologize for not posting anything new since Sunday. I don’t like going any more than a day without adding something new to my blog; so not posting on Monday or Tuesday has been a nightmare for me. The reason is that I worked a 12 hour shift on Sunday, another 12 on Monday as well as working one tonight and Wednesday. I have barely had time to do anything except work, sleep, get ready for work and rinse, lather, repeat. I tried to review a film after work last night and it was all I could do to get the first sentence out of my brain and onto the screen. I am fried worse than a Colonel Sanders chicken. I know it will get better, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I am going to try to watch something this morning after I get off work and will hopefully have a new review up on either Wednesday morning or afternoon. This blog means a lot to me; but more importantly the people that take the time to read my blog mean a lot to me. I never want to take for granted the fact that even if someone only stops by for a split second, or if they read every word of what I have to say. I appreciate each and every person that has been supportive of Written in Blood. Without you this whole thing would be just another pipe dream. Thank you.

TRIVIA

I am a Pisces, I love romantic zombie movies and I have never taken a long walk on a beach.

I have a big heart, a bad temper and two guinea pigs. Is that a combo for disaster or what?

I love anchovies. Deal with it.

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To whom it may concern re:Dead Hooker in a Trunk

May 4

Posted by

This goes out to the anonymous commenter who posted in response to my review for “Dead Hooker in a Trunk.” I don’t know if you realize this, but I trashed your comment. Not because you said anything derogatory towards me, but because of the things you said in general. Let’s review:

1. You said that my first mistake was referencing bloodydisgusting.com. You said that everyone knows that they are paid to promote crap. Well, they gave their highest rating to films like Jaws, The Exorcist, Kill Bill Vols. 1 and 2 and several other films that are considered by many to be classics of the horror genre. So maybe the trouble is that they don’t line up with what you like. Maybe they gave a favorable review to a film you hated. Who knows? Who cares? Your statement is moot.

2. Secondly, you stated that you had never seen “Dead Hooker in a Trunk” and that you couldn’t really comment on it. That means that you can’t judge it for its acting, directing, writing or anything else for that matter. But wait, there’s more.

3. The next sentence you quoted that I said I would like to see what the Soskia sisters (the brains behind “Dead Hooker in a Trunk”) could do with a remake of “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers”. Your reply was an emphatic ‘Noooooooo!’ Now don’t get me wrong, but didn’t you say in a previous sentence that you had not seen “Dead Hooker in a Trunk” and therefore could not comment on it? Well, then that would mean that you have no reason to comment on the statement I made about them tackling “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers”. You judged them without knowing anything about them.

4. This is the main reason I deleted your comment; if you’re going to say all these things then at least have the balls (or the vag) to sign your name.

Thank you.

John Mountain

Owner and Operator of Written in Blood

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