Category Archives: Remakes
EVIL DEAD
EVIL DEAD-United States-2013

Jane Levy as MIa

Shiloh Fernandez as David

Lou Taylor Pucci as Eric

Jessica Lucas as Olivia
Directed by Fede Alvarez
Screenplay by Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues
Based on the 1981 screenplay by Sam Raimi
Let’s make no mistake about it: the original 1981 The Evil Dead is still the champ. That being said, does this mean that Evil Dead is a horrible remake that should have never been given the green light? Absolutely not; Evil Dead is a ferocious, gory and jump-inducing film that, after a rather boring first quarter of the first act, more than holds its own against its predecessor. It’s one of those horror movies that I’ve bragged about in past reviews; the kind that restores my faith in the horror genre. Trust me, after the last atrocity I reviewed I needed that faith restored in a bad way.
For the most part, Evil Dead is a carbon copy of the original. Five friends arrive at a cabin in the woods (hey, wouldn’t that make a great title for a horror movie?) for a little rest and relaxation. David (Shiloh Fernandez, Red Riding Hood, Deadgirl), Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci, Carriers, Horsemen), Mia (Jane Levy, Suburgatory), Olivia (Jessica Lucas, Cloverfield) and Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore, Burning Man) are your typical twenty-something group; handsome, pretty and smart and with their own set of demons in the form of Mia’s addictions. Before Evil Dead can turn into a very special episode of Intervention the smell of burning hair, dead cats in the attic and the discovery of a certain book best left unread make life a literal living hell for our crazy kids. Blood, gore, shotguns, nail guns, carving knives, and shards of glass, premature burial and bodily dismemberment are all a part of the fun. I said Evil Dead is for the most part a carbon copy of the original. Just as Bruce Campbell carved a name for himself in the annals of bad-assery (it’s a word, honest), a character in Evil Dead makes their bid for entry in the Demon Killing Hall of Fame. I’m not going to say who; I will just say that I was pleasantly surprised.
Evil Dead may go down in cinematic history as one of the most respectful remakes of a classic horror film. In fact, if The Evil Dead had never been made then Evil Dead might very well have been that classic horror film one day. Or, maybe not; what matters is that the filmmakers behind Evil Dead can be proud of their baby.
TRIVIA
If you take the first letters of the main characters David, Eric, Mia, Olivia and Natalie, the letters spell out DEMON.
In one scene there are cards spread out on the table. The cards are laid out in the order that Cheryl reads them in the original.
In the scene where the broken necklace is found outside of the cabin, it can be seen resting in the shape of a skull, just like in the original.
The illustration of the Abomination in the Naturom Demonto is based on the poster artwork for the original Evil Dead film.
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IT’S ALIVE (2008)
IT’S ALIVE-United States-2008

Bijou Phillips as Lenore Harker
Directed by Josef Rusnak
Screenplay by Larry Cohen, Paul Sopocy and James Portolese
Based on the film by Larry Cohen
Just before I began writing the review for this movie I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to look and it was me. I said to myself, ‘Yes, what is it?’ I then said to me, ‘Yeah, um, didn’t you just review the 1974 It’s Alive for the post right before the one you did of all the vampire pictures?’ I told myself that I had indeed done just that very thing. I answered myself by asking the question ‘Well, this is basically the same movie as the original film except that it takes place in New Mexico and is a little more gory and shows boobies, right?’ ‘Right, said I to me. So what are we getting at here?’ Then, shockingly, I said, ‘So why not just re-post the same review for the 2008 remake as you did for the 1974 original?’ Shocked and flabbergasted I explained to me that I could never deceive my readers in such a manner as that. They depend on me (kind of) to write reasonably witty and somewhat smart-ass reviews of these dumb as bricks horror movies that should only be shown as punishment in the lower circles of Hell itself. So I told myself, “Listen, you good for nothing son of a bitch, I’m going to write an original review for this remake of a 1974 film about a couple, Frank (James Murray, All The King’s Men) and Lenore (Bijou Phillips, Hostel Part II, Almost Famous) who conceive a child that likes a little flesh and blood mixed in with mommy’s boob milk. Speaking of conception, one has to wonder that with a name like Bijou where exactly she was conceived; perhaps the back seat of a car at a drive-in or in the back row of a movie theater? Anyways, It’s Alive of 2008 is an unnecessary remake of a film that, while fun, just wasn’t that good in the first place. The remake is even worse. I believe writer-director Larry Cohen was trying to get a message across with the 1974 film. I can’t say that he succeeded, but at least he tried. Here writers Cohen, Paul Sopocy, James Portolese and director Josef Rusnak just seem to trying to figure out how many painfully stupid scenes they can pack into an 85 minute movie; the answer is a hell of a lot.
After I explained all this to myself, I understood; and therefore was able to sit down and write my review for It’s Alive, circa 2008. I just hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.
NO TRIVIA
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MIRRORS
MIRRORS-United States/Romania/Germany-2008

Amy Smart as Angela Carson
Directed by Alexandre Aja
Screenplay by Alexandre Aja and Gregory Levasseur
Based on a screenplay by Kim Sung-ho
PROLOGUE
We begin with a man, a security guard, as he runs terrified from an unseen pursuer through a subway station. Checking, testing every locked door and gate for an escape, he finally finds himself in a locker room. There is a window, but it is bricked up. He is trapped. The locker doors open, each one with a mirror revealing the man’s reflection. He pleads and begins to clean the mirrors. One of them breaks and a shard of glass falls to the floor where he bends down to pick it up. His reflection remains standing. The reflection stabs itself in the neck and runs the shard across its throat. A crimson line appears on the man’s neck as his throat is opened and he dies.
THE STORY
It is 8 o’clock in the morning and Ben Carson awakens. He tells his sister to go back to sleep and that everything will be okay. He reports for his first day on the job as a security guard at the Mayflower, a once luxurious department store gutted by fire. A newspaper article and conversation with the guard, Sapelli, as they tour the building gives us clues as to why Carson, a former NYPD detective, is no longer employed with the force. The guard tells Carson about the Mayflower and the security guard, Gary Lewis, who was there before Ben and his obsession with keeping the mirrors in the building polished.
As the film progresses, we meet Ben’s estranged wife. She doesn’t want him making visits to his children without calling first. We find out that he killed a man in the line of duty and that Ben’s drinking is a cause for their separation. They argue loudly and their young son covers his ears and submerges himself in the bathtub water to drown them out. Ben leaves.
On his first night at the Mayflower Ben stands in front of a huge mirror. He sees a handprint and tries to wipe it off, but it will not come clean. He traces his flashlight along the length of the mirror and sees that it is covered with handprints. He hears the door behind him open but sees that the mirror does not reflect the action.
Later, at home with his younger sister, Ben sees a distorted image of himself reflected in the bathroom mirror. He reacts, afraid. He assumes it is because of stress.
At the Mayflower Ben again experiences strange phenomena with the mirrors. One cracks and cuts his hand and then repairs itself. He sees images of people burning. His own reflection bursts into flame and he is left writhing in pain on the floor. He escapes and later finds the ID badge of the guard, Lewis, who worked there previously. He also finds a slip of paper with one word, ‘esseker’, written on it. He explores further and hears a woman’s terrified screams coming from somewhere in the building. He sees image after image of a woman burned; but only in the mirrors.
What is the secret of the Mayflower and the mirrors? Is Ben merely stressed; or are there supernatural forces at work that are beyond his comprehension. I will stop here with my summary of the movie. To go further would tempt me to use spoilers and I hate spoilers.
THOUGHTS
I liked Mirrors. The film is directed by Alexandre Aja and is loosely based on a Korean film; Into the Mirror, written and directed by Kim Sung-ho. Aja kept a few scenes from the original film, but for the most part has crafted an entirely different interpretation.
The film appears to be a departure for Aja. Despite some intense moments of gore, the movie could be classified as more of a psychological tale and not of the relentless slasher variety as depicted in his breakthrough film High Tension or his over the top yet entertaining adaptations of Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes and Joe Dante’s Piranha. I don’t know if this new approach is the reason for the lack of popular opinion for Mirrors, but I do know that people become accustomed to a certain style from a filmmaker like Aja. When that style is not presented in their work it can lead to anger from the masses. It seems ironic that I would like Mirrors; of all the people I know I am the one who hates change the most.
FURTHER ALONG
This is one of my favorite performances from Kiefer Sutherland (The Lost Boys and 24). He has always been an actor that I thought was full of a rage that is just bubbling underneath the surface of his skin. Sutherland uses this intensity to great effect in the role of Ben Carson. Paula Patton (Hitch and Swing Vote) is good as Amy, Carson’s estranged wife and Amy Smart (Crank and The Butterfly Effect) gives a brief but engaging performance as Ben’s younger sister, Angela.
My biggest complaint I have regarding Mirrors is that Aja throws in too many scenes of reflective surfaces. I understand that these things are a large part of our everyday lives and that we are so used to them that we barely notice them; I don’t need to be beaten over the head to remind me of this. Add a twist ending that doesn’t stray too far into M. Night Shyamalan territory and despite a few distorted moments Mirrors is a fairly polished tale of terror.
TRIVIA
The name ‘Esseker’ is an anagram for ‘Seekers’. This can be an appropriate terminology for the demons who live on the other side of the mirrors seeking out their host, Anna Esseker.
Shot in Romania, most of it was filmed in Nicolae Ceausescu‘s unfinished Academy of Sciences building in Bucharest.
Grégory Levasseur had to fill in as director for the scene where Kiefer Sutherland thinks he’s on fire as Alexandre Aja had to leave urgently. His wife had just gone into premature labor.
Amy Smart had to be fed through a straw for her big bathroom scene as she obviously was unable to open her mouth.
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THE HITCHER (2007)
THE HITCHER-United States-2007
Directed by Dave Meyers
Screenplay by Jake Wade Wall and Eric Bernt
Based on the film written by Eric Red
Was a remake of the 1986 road terror flick “The Hitcher” really the right thing to do? Aside from the fact that there are two protagonists in the new film, for the first twenty minutes I thought I was watching an exact copy of the original movie. The set up is the same, the names are the same, and everything is the same. Jim Halsey (Zachary Knighton, “The Prince and Me“) and his girlfriend Grace (Sophia Bush, “One Tree Hill”, “Stay Alive”) pick up a psychotic hitchhiker named John Ryder (Sean Bean, “Silent Hill”, “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King“) who terrorizes them at every turn. Everything about the new “Hitcher” is a near carbon copy of the old film but with one exception; the attention is focused more on Ryder and Grace than on Ryder and Halsey. I can kind of understand why; neither Knighton nor Bush adds anything new to their roles, but at least Bush is easy on the eyes. As for Bean, he does a decent job with what he has to work with, but he comes nowhere near the level of menace attained by Rutger Hauer in the 1986 film.
“The Hitcher” of 2007 doesn’t completely suck. It attains a level of gore that the original only hinted at, especially during the nearly shot for shot re-enactment of the ‘person chained between two diesels’ scene. But does all the extra blood and guts really matter? At the end of the day, what makes this remake a loser is that it was complete unnecessary in the first place. Once again Hollywood chews off its own arm and we’re the ones paying for it. Or something like that.
TRIVIA
The movie that Grace is watching in the hotel near the end is The Birds.
Rutger Hauer who played the character of John Ryder in the original was offered a cameo, but declined for artistic reasons. Hauer has since said in the press that he has yet to watch the remake, and according to some of his friends he shouldn’t bother.
Jessica Biel turned down the role of Grace Andrews while Britney Spears was considered for the same role.
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THE CRAZIES (2010)
THE CRAZIES-United States-2010

Timothy Olyphant as David

Radha Mitchell as Judy
Directed by Breck Eisner
Screenplay by Scott Kosar and Ray Wright and based on the 1973 motion picture by George A. Romero
There’s a saying that goes ‘expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised.’ I believe that phrase would go a long way in describing my experience with “The Crazies”; a motion picture that I continued to put off even after hearing a bit of positive buzz about it. To be honest I just never was one of those guys that enjoy the type of movie where the government lets a virus loose on an unsuspecting town and then screws the entire population in the poop chute. I have to hand it to “The Crazies” though; the individual human element of the film is held together by a couple of strong performances by Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell. Olyphant is one of those actors that have the looks and the chops, but he’s danced on the razor’s edge of stardom for far too long. The same can be said of Mitchell to a lesser degree. Both of them deserve that big chance and “The Crazies” comes real close to being that opportunity.
It’s a bright sunny day in Ogden Marsh. There’s a baseball game being played between the rival high school teams and the whole town is there to cheer them on. Life is as it should be in a small town: peaceful, serene. All it takes is for one guy with a shotgun to walk out onto the ball field. After that you can watch a man burn down his house with his wife and son inside. Maybe you would enjoy seeing a man shove a pitchfork into helpless people; or a trio of rednecks shooting the locals as if they were deer. It’s all fun and games in the small town of Ogden Marsh. What’s even more fun about it is that it’s all government controlled and sanctioned. Yes, America it is your tax dollars at work. I guess it sure is a damn good thing it’s only a movie.
It should come as no surprise that “The Crazies” is a remake. The original film was directed by George A, Romero. George is that guy that brought us “Night of the Living Dead” and all those other films where the dead munch on the flesh of the living. He’s even a producer on the remake of “The Crazies.” Having never seen the original I can’t compare the two films. I do however get the feeling that Mr. Romero would be proud.
TRIVIA
If you read the graffiti on the jail cell wall, one appears to say “Romero”.
The film opens with the song “We’ll Meet Again,” as performed by Johnny Cash. The song is from the same album that provided “The Man Comes Around,” which opened another remake of a George A. Romero film, Dawn of the Dead. The album is “American IV“, the last full album Cash released before his death. “The Man Comes Around” and “We’ll Meet Again” are the opening and closing tracks, respectively.
Some of the filming was done in Lenox, Iowa. Lenox is the opposing team in the baseball scene early in the film.
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MOTHER’S DAY
MOTHER’S DAY-United States-2010

Rebecca De Mornay as Natalie ‘Mother’ Koffin

Jaime King as Beth Sohapi

Briana Evigan as Annette Langston

Patrick Flueger as Izaak ‘Iki’ Koffin

Deborah Ann Woll as Lydia Koffin
![Mother's Day.2011.mkv_snapshot_00.06.00_[2011.06.13_22.04.06]](http://jmount43.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/mothers-day-2011-mkv_snapshot_00-06-00_2011-06-13_22-04-06.jpg?w=1024&h=428)
Shawn Ashmore as George Barnum
Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman
Screenplay and Screen story by Scott Milam
1980 Screenplay by Charles Kaufman and Warren Leight
I haven’t seen the original “Mother’s Day” from 1980, so I can’t use it in comparison to this, the 2010 remake. From what I do understand the original was more of a gore fest. Although there is gore in the remake it’s more of a psychological thriller. To be honest I must say that it was better than I anticipated.
Three brothers are involved in an (off-camera) robbery. One of them is shot and is taken back to the family home until the other two can decide what to do with him. The only catch is that it’s no longer their home. ‘Mother’ wasn’t able to get a message to them to tell them the house had been foreclosed on. The place had been purchased 2 months prior; so at the same time that the brothers burst through the door the new owners, Beth and Daniel (Jaime King and Frank Grillo) are throwing a house-warming party with a small group of their friends. I’ll give you a moment to imagine how that goes over with the three brothers. I’ll give you a hint: not too fucking good. Pretty soon ‘Mother’ (Rebecca De Mornay) arrives and the fun begins. By ‘fun’ I mean the psycho head games, beatings, burnings, shootings and all that jazz.
What impressed me the most about “Mother’s Day” is the way that it not only pits ‘Mother’ and her boys against the hostages; but it also puts the hostages against each other for reasons that become more evident as time passes. The expression ‘you are your own worst enemy’ reverberates quite heavily with this group.
The last time I saw Rebecca De Mornay was in “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle“. I honestly didn’t recognize her when I first saw the trailer for “Mother’s Day” and was pleasantly surprised at her performance. Her character is to me what Kathleen Turner’s role as Beverly Sutphin would have been if John Waters had decided to make “Serial Mom” a straight up horror film.
“Mother’s Day isn’t a perfect movie. It drags in the final act and I found myself checking the time quite a bit. All told, though, I would have to say that I recommend it for one of those evenings when you have nothing better to do. ‘Mother’ and her boys will certainly do their best to keep you captivated.
TRIVIA
The first cut of the film was completed on December 11, 2009.
The story is loosely based on a true life home invasion, The Wichita Massacre, also known as The Wichita Horror, where brothers Reginald and Jonathan Carr perpetrated a murder/assault/rape/robbery spree against a home owner and his guests in 2000. It remains one of the worst crimes in Kansas state history.
During the filming of a scene that involved guns, the actors were pulled over and held at gun point by the police after mistaking them for people that actually robbed a bank not too far from where they were filming. After realizing that it was all a big misunderstanding, the police and the film team all had a good laugh about it.
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BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)
BLACK CHRISTMAS-United States/Canada-2006

Katie Cassidy as Kelli Presley

Michelle Trachtenberg as Melissa

Oliver Hudson as Kyle Autry (Image not from film)

Lacey Chabert as Dana

Kristen Cloke as Leigh Colvin (Image not from film)

Andrea Martin as Barbara 'Ms. Mac' MacHenry (Image not from film)
Directed by Glen Morgan
Screenplay by Glen Morgan
Based on the 1974 screenplay by Roy Moore
Do you like recipes? Do you like following instructions and preparing your food just exactly the way it says in the book? The book says ‘add 1 tsp. salt’ and that’s exactly what you do.
I hate following recipes. I think of different ways I can broil a steak or bake a chicken breast. What new twist can I add to it? Perhaps I can add some ginger to the steak or maybe inject the chicken breast with white wine. It’s my food, I’m going to fix it however I damn well please.
You know who I bet loves following recipes? Glen Morgan, the writer and director of Black Christmas, or Black X-mas; whichever you prefer. The film is a remake of the 1974 classic slasher film and it follows the plot to the letter. I can imagine that the recipe that Morgan followed went something like this:
Take one classic horror film screenplay and use it as a template
Write your own screenplay over the old one; but make sure you add in a little more nudity and a lot more gore. It’s the 2000’s after all. No one wants to see a suspenseful horror film with no blood these days.
Make sure you cast a bunch of hot chicks with big tits and vapid personalities. Also, make sure you feature a cast member from the original film. That’ll draw in the older crowd.
Bake at STUPID for about 90 minutes.
Allow 30 minutes to cool and then shop it around to the producers who wouldn’t know what a good horror film was if it bit them on the ass.
Distribute to theaters and watch the money roll in.
Congratulation! You have now sold your soul and set the horror genre back another 20 years because you don’t have an original idea in your head.
I hope you’re happy.
TRIVIA
Andrea Martin, who played Phyllis in Black Christmas, said in an interview that she hadn’t thought about Black Christmas for 32 years and it “came out of the blue” when Glen Morgan offered her the role as the house mother in the movie.
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THIR13EEN GHOSTS
THIR13EEN GHOSTS-United States/Canada-2001

Tony Shalhoub as Arthur Kriticos

Embeth Davidtz as Karina Oretzia

Matthew Lillard as Dennis Rafkin

Shannon Elizabeth (r) as Kathy Kriticos

Rah Digga as Maggie Bess

F. Murray Abraham as Cyrus Kriticos
Directed by Steve Beck
Story by Robb White
Screenplay by Neal Marshall Stevens and Richard D’Ovidio
First of all, this film will be referred to as Thirteen Ghosts for the rest of this review. The fancy spelling with the numbers in the middle was for cute effect or some shit like that. This review will be brief. In fact, this review will be a list of all that’s wrong with this movie. That would be namely everything.
1. Why was this film even remade? It’s merely an inferior copy of a film that wasn’t all that good in the first place.
2. You would think that a film that contains all these nasty looking ghosts with all these homicidal tendencies would have some decent gore to it. “You would think” is the key part of that sentence. The only decent kill scene is that of the lawyer and his death is merely a watered down version of the ‘cable slicing through the crowd’ scene in Ghost Ship. For an R-rated film you would think Thirteen Ghosts was sucking the tit of PG-13.
3. The story is ludicrous and merely serves as a road map for what amounts to nothing more than fun house roller coaster moments. What can we do to the characters as we take them from Jump scene A to Jump Scene B?
4. Don’t even get me started on the casting. Tony Shalhoub and F. Murray Abraham should have known better, Shannon Elizabeth looks lost and Matthew Lillard is wishing he were starring in Scream again. Oh, and let’s not forget Rah Digga as the token black character who spouts witty things about white people and not doing windows. That’s not me being racist. No, that dishonor goes to the filmmakers.
So, there you have it. Thirteen Ghosts is all kinds of suck. Take care and stay scared.
TRIVIA
The special effects and sound mixing were so elaborate in this film, that many people claimed that the movie was physically painful to sit through.
The effect for “The Torso” was achieved using a double amputee wearing a special black hood that could be used to digitally remove his head.
Shawna Loyer attracted a small cult following thanks to her brief role as the Angry Princess. A rumor circulated that the role was actually played by porn actress Aria Giovanni using a pseudonym, but this is incorrect (Ms. Giovanni was in an adult parody titled Thirteen Erotic Ghosts.
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- ‘The Hive’ Replaces Joel Schumacher with ‘Machinist’ Director Brad Anderson (screenrant.com)
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SILENT HOUSE

Elizabeth Olsen as Sarah
Directed by Chris Kentis and Laura Lau
Screenplay by Laura Lau (based on the film by Gustav Hernández)
Silent House is a horror film that plays out very well within the first seventy-five or so minutes of its real-time, single-take format. It’s in the final ten to fifteen minutes that it falls apart with an “ An American Haunting” ending that nearly ruins the earlier events of the film.
Sarah and her father, John, are making repairs on their old house to get it ready to sell. There is no electricity and therefore they must make do with flashlights and kerosene lamps. This works to great effect as I found myself surveying every darkened corner backlit by Sarah as she moves through the house. She hears a noise upstairs and her father goes up to investigate. One bump-thump later and he doesn’t come back down.
Sarah realizes that she is not alone in the house. Are the invaders natural or supernatural? I was hoping for the latter; the former would have made the film step too far into the territory of Ils (Them) or The Strangers, Ils American remake. The ending is neither natural nor supernatural and opts instead for the more neatly wrapped psychological finale. I call this the “An American Haunting” ending because it was that film that pulled the same hair-brained stunt, thereby ruining the earlier events of that film. Because Silent House pulls that trick what would have been a three blood drop review is now reduced to two.
But what really worries me about Silent House is its format. American film companies seem to love to mimic the popular styles of their peers. Take The Blair Witch Project and the ‘found footage’ genre, for example. That’s worked great with films like Paranormal Activity and Cloverfield; not so great with Apollo 18 and The Devil Inside. Is Silent House the beginning of a new era in American cinema? For better or for worse I sure as hell hope not.
TRIVIA
The entire movie was shot in one continuous real-time take, with no cuts from start to finish.
Related articles
- Directors Chris Kentis and Laura Lau SILENT HOUSE Interview (collider.com)
- A New Clip Welcomes You to the Silent House (dreadcentral.com)
- Exclusive TV Spot Premiere: Silent House (dreadcentral.com)
- Elizabeth Olsen on Silent House and why she won’t co-star with Mary-Kate and Ashley (arts.nationalpost.com)
- Five Reasons To See ‘Silent House’ (moviesblog.mtv.com)





























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