Category Archives: Supernatural Horror Films
THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE
THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE-United States/Germany-1997
Keanu Reeves as Kevin Lomax
Al Pacino as John Milton
Charlize Theron as Mary Ann Lomax
Jeffrey Jones as Eddie Barzoon
Judith Ivey as Mrs. Alice Lomax
Craig T. Nelson as Alexander Cullen (Image not from “The Devil’s Advocate“)
Directed by Taylor Hackford
Screenplay by Jonathan Lemkin and Tony Gilroy
Based on the novel by Andrew Niederman
Keanu and Al’s Hellish Adventure…
(Conversation between two slackers)
“Dude, have you ever, like, seen The Devil’s Advocate?”
“No, Dude; is it, like, missing?”
“Dumbass, The Devil’s Advocate is a movie.”
“Oh yeah? Who’s in it?”
“Keanu Reeves… (Both dudes achieve a ‘more stoned than usual’ look on their faces and begin to bow and raise and lower their hands in reverence)
(Simultaneously at the same time) KING KEANU, WE’RE NOT WORTHY! KING KEANU, WE’RE NOT WORTHY!
“Dude, that’s so righteous! Who else is in it?”
“Al Pacino.”
“Dude, the Godfather?”
“You know it, dude.”
“Oh, that is so awesome.”
“Charlize Theron is in it, too.”
“Oh dude, I had the most awesome dream about her. We were at my place and we were gettin’ it on so hot and I knew that I was gonna get so lucky and she says ‘come and get it, big boy’ and I was getting ready to come and get it and I took off my shirt and my pants and I…
“Dude, stop!”
“Nah dude, it’s cool; my mom woke me up. I was mad at her for a week.”
“Thank her for me.”
“Yeah, right. So, what’s this movie about?”
“Well, Keanu plays this totally successful lawyer in Florida. I mean, dude, this dude is like 640-0. He’s never lost a case. He’s the dude you go to if you’re a dude in serious shit.”
“Whoa.”
“Anyway, this other dude, played by Pacino, takes notice of our dude and invites him to work for him at his way cool fancy law firm in New York City. Our dude Keanu and his ultra-hot babe of a wife Charlize travel all the way from Florida to New York so he can work with this dude.”
“Wow. Wait, dude, that doesn’t sound like much of a movie.”
“Nope.”
“Then what’s the point?”
‘Well, that other dude, the one in New York?”
“Yeah?”
“He’s the devil.”
“No way!”
“Way.”
“No freakin’ way!”
“Yes freakin’ way.”
(Dude 2 has to sit down for a moment. Oh wait, he’s a slacker; he’s already sitting.)
“Okay, so what happens next?”
“All kinds of freaky shit; There’s demon’s and people that look like people but are really demons. Charlize goes totally bonkers and gets totally naked and…”
“Whoa, Charlize gets naked?”
“Dude, it’s not a pretty sight, trust me.”
“Yeah, but she wouldn’t even get naked for me in my dream. Oh, and then there was that whole Monster thing. That was worse than when I saw my grandma coming out of the shower.”
“Dude, push your ‘off’ button.”
“Sorry. So, is the movie any good?”
“It doesn’t totally suck if that’s what you’re asking. I mean it’s got Keanu in it and, let’s face it, he may be our righteous king, but he so cannot act.”
“Blasphemy, dude!”
“Dude, reality check.”
(Dude 2 ponders for a moment; images of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Speed and numerous other Keanu-tastrophes come to mind.)
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“Dude, if you see this movie, you gotta see it for Pacino and Pacino only. Charlize is good, but not as good as she was in Monster. Pacino is so convincing as the Devil that I think the devil himself saw him and said, “Whoa, that dude is me! I mean, Pacino doesn’t just chew the scenery like he did in Scent of a Woman, he totally swallows it whole.”
“Oh, that is so awesome! I am so gonna check this one out.”
“Alright, dude.”
(Dude 2 ponders again as he often does.)
“Dude, I just had the most totally weird thought?”
“Oh yeah? What?”
“Dude, what if you and me were the figment of some dude’s imagination? What if everything we just talked about was because some dude said, “I’m gonna write about these two dudes having a conversation about a movie and he created us just for that purpose. Oh shit, I’m getting brain freeze just thinking about it.”
“Okay dude, chill out. We are not the figment of some dude’s imagination?”
“Oh yeah? Well riddle me this, Batman; do you remember what we did yesterday? How about last week?”
(Now they both ponder with confused looks upon their faces. Then they look at the space in front of them as if they can see something or someone visible only to themselves.)
(Again, simultaneously) “Dude?”
What?
TRIVIA
Sculptor Frederick Hart and the Episcopal National Cathedral in Washington, DC, sued Warner Brothers over a sculpture that appears in the film and closely resembles Hart’s “Ex Nihilo”, which is situated above Milton’s desk in his apartment. A last-minute deal was negotiated to allow the sculpture to remain in the film.
Connie Nielsen‘s character speaks Spanish in the Italian release of the movie, and Italian in all the others. Nielsen is in fact Danish, and this was her American film debut.
Joel Schumacher was originally set to direct the film in 1994 with Brad Pitt to star as Kevin Lomax. Christian Slater, John Cusack and Edward Norton were then considered for the role.
The character of John Milton is named for John Milton, the author of “Paradise Lost,” the classic epic poem about man’s fall from God’s grace. When Lomax is in Milton’s office at the end of the film, he says “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven,” from Book I Line 263 of the same work.
Each time Mary Ann (Charlize Theron) tries a different color of green on the apartment walls, only to be discouraged by her “friend” Jackie (Tamara Tunie), Jackie is wearing some article of clothing or jewelry that is the exact same shade of green.
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AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
AN AMERICAN HAUNTING-United States, Canada, United Kingdom and Romania-2005
Donald Sutherland as John Bell
Sissy Spacek as Lucy Bell
Rachel Hurd-Wood as Betsy Bell
This film holds a special place in my heart. I know that may sound corny coming from a 49 year-old man, but the reason is because it was the very first date between myself and the beautiful woman who is now my wife of almost 4 years. There were so many reasons why I was so excited to see this film. The aforementioned first date, of course, but also because this film had so much going for it. It had two of the finest actors of past, present or future in Sissy Spacek and Donald Sutherland in the lead roles of Lucy and John Bell. There was the performance of Rachel Hurd-Wood as Betsy Bell that, while not Oscar worthy, was able to hold her own against the likes of Sutherland and Spacek.
Then there is the story behind the film. The story of the Bell witch is the most documented haunting in American history. It is the only reported case in which a spirit has caused the death of a living human being. The first time I remember reading about the Bell witch was in the pages of Boris Karloff’s Tales of Mystery. I was enthralled with the story of this vengeful entity who made life a living hell for John and Betsy Bell. Can you see why I was so stoked to see this film?
The first part of the film moves along rather nicely. It grows a bit tedious in some places, but for the most part is a faithful adaptation of the events that took place on the Bell farm in Adams, Tennessee from 1817 to 1820. The scenes of the haunting and the torture of Betsy Bell by an unseen force are well filmed and well acted and Sutherland and Spacek are at the top of their game. I am enjoying the film and intend to recommend it to friends the first chance I get. That is until the ending causes all that came before it to come crashing down like a house of cards.
Throughout the entire course of this film director/co-writer Courtney Solomon leads us to believe that he believes in the legend of the Bell witch. The ending that is tacked on to this film is like a slap in the face. Why does there have to be a rational explanation for the Bell witch? Why were the filmmakers not satisfied with what could have been an intriguing adaptation of an amazing legend in American history? The supernatural is not a rational thing, so why treat it as such?
Thank you, Courtney Solomon, for ruining a legendary tale. At least you didn’t ruin my date.
TRIVIA
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THE REEDS
THE REEDS-United Kingdom-2009
Anna Brewster as Laura
Geoff Bell as Mr. Croker
Daniel Caltagirone as Joe
Directed by Nick Cohen
Written by Mark Anthony Galluzo and Chris Baker
The Reeds is the kind of movie that you watch because you want to see what happens next. It’s not that you’re interested, it’s just that since you’ve watched this much you may as well go a bit further. The film tells of a group of young Londoners who charter a boat christened the Corsair Star through the reeds of the Norfolk Broads. Now, seeing as this is a horror movie, we very well can’t have them make it safely through so they can go home and live happily ever after. No, we need frights. So, let’s throw in an enigmatic gang of youths that they encounter at different points in the film. How about the hooded figure carrying a shotgun? Or the skeletal remains in cages below the surface of the water. But wait, there’s also a twist of an ending that you see coming a mile away, or not.
There’s really not a whole lot that can be said about this film and therein lies the trouble with it. The cast is credible, but they really don’t generate any air of excitement among them. No character stands out and no scene stands out. As for any scary scenes they are telegraphed long before they occur.
It’s quite interesting that a film like this should be set on water. Simply put, it’s stagnant.
Trivia
No trivia for this film
THE GRAVES
THE GRAVES-United States-2009
Clare Grant as Megan Graves
Jillian Murray as Abby Graves
Bill Moseley as Caleb 'Cookie' Atwood
Amanda Wyss as Darlene Atwood
Shane Stevens as Jonah Lee Atwood
D. Randall Blythe as Deacon Luke
Patti Tindall as Becka Crane
Tony Todd as Reverend Abraham Stockton
Written and Directed by Brian Pulido
I realized something a while back while I was writing a review for the film BTK for Arcanum Axiom magazine.What I realized is that it’s easier to write a scathing review than it is to write a glowing review. Case in point, The Graves. The film is written and directed by Brian Pulido. If the name doesn’t sound familiar to you think Evil Ernie and Lady Death. Both are comic book characters and Pulido is their creator. So, now he has turned his attention to directing and the kindest thing I can say is that for a director he makes a good comic book creator. Don’t give up your day job, Brian.
The Graves are Megan and Abby, two sisters on their last hurrah before Megan goes to New York City to work in marketing. The two are traveling through Arizona and decide to stop at a tourist attraction called the Skull City Mine. A tourist trap is more like it. The town just outside the mine worships this demon that haunts the mine shaft and have been killing travelers for years in order to feed the thing. Will Megan and Abby survive? Or will the demon get their souls for all eternity?
This movie has every stupid cliche’ ever found within the confines of a horror film. If you’ve ever watched a horror movie and yelled at the screen over some stupid thing some dumbass has done or is going to do then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Oh, and let’s talk about the acting of the two female leads, Clare Grant and Jillian Murray. Toward the end of the film the two show a small bit of talent. However, for the most part I found my self thinking “It sure is a good thing those two have pretty faces and nice bodies. At least they have something to fall back on.” Tony Todd and Bill Moseley are both good, but neither one looks like they’re enjoying themselves. The bottom line is that this film sucks worse than a Tommy Tammisimo commercial in The Sixth Sense.
Yeah, you know, it is so much easier to trash a bad film.
THE EXORCIST
Image via Wikipedia
THE EXORCIST-United States-1973
Directed by William Friedkin
Written for the screen and based on the novel by William Peter Blatty
Starring
Ellen Burstyn as Chris MacNeil
Max von Sydow as Father Merrin
Jason Miller as Father Karras
Lee J. Cobb as Lt. Kinderman
Linda Blair as Regan McNeil
and Mercedes McCambridge as the voice of the demon.
What can be said about The Exorcist that hasn’t already been said? Other than perhaps The Godfather and The Godfather Part II, this film has recieved more acclaim and more accolades since it’s intial release in 1973 that any thing I say about it would be absolutely pointless.
So how does one review a film that is called by many ‘the scariest horror film of all time’? I don’t want to repeat what everyone else says about it. I write these reviews so that I may voice my own opinion, whether the reader agrees with it or not. If I didn’t do that I feel that I would lose the respect of you, the reader. The best thing for me to do is to tell you just what it is that this film says to me as a person, as a believer in God and as a reviewer.
When I was growing up in the South, my mother used to say that lightning was the devil behind the door beating his wife with a frying pan. An old wives tale, for sure, but one that stuck with me throughout the years.
I was eleven in 1973, the year that the film was first released. I wasn’t allowed to see the film; a ruling set forth by my parents despite the fact that I had been watching horror films since I was six years old. So, I had to wait. It wasn’t until around 1979 that I first had the chance to see the movie. I remember watching and when the scene comes up where Regan’s bed begins shaking uncontrollably the first thought that entered into my mind was ‘well, shit, the devil’s not behind the door anymore.’ The second thought was that maybe, just maybe, I would be sleeping with the light on that night. I was 17 at the time.
I feel that The Exorcist has been such a monumental success because it doesn’t just tap into our fears but instead digs deep into them to the very core of what scares us. How many stories and tall tales have we heard about the devil over the years ? The devil is behind the door. He’s under the bed. On and on. The Exorcist takes every one of those tall tales and stories and throws them right in our faces and for a little over two hours we are small children again with our eyes covering our faces and peeking through our fingers. No film since then has achieved the level of deep-rooted fear so intensely as this film has.
I mentioned my belief in God and what that means as far as the effect that this film has had on me. It’s very simple and I will quote the Reverend Cotton Marcus from The Last Exorcism on the matter. He said, ‘if you are going to believe in God, then you have to believe in the devil’. I believe in good (God), therefore I believe in evil (Satan). This is not preaching. I don’t expect every person who reads this to feel the same way I do. I am not telling you how the film affected your life; I am telling you how it affected mine.
As a reviewer and as a fan, the film affected me because I know that there is always that one film that comes along that influences, impacts and shapes the films that come along after it. Look at Goodfellas. The film is considered one of the greatest gangster films of all time, and yet it will always be overshadowed by The Godfather. The same is true of virtually any film dealing with demonic possession. Each and every one of them will be forever in the shadow of The Exorcist. The Last Exorcism, Paranormal Activity and countless other films owe their existence to this film.
I’m not even going to bother with a plot synopsis. I don’t have to. After all these years if you don’t know what the film is about then by all means rent it, buy it, whatever. Just watch it. I promise you will never be the same again.
SICK NURSES
SICK NURSES-Thailand-2007
Directed by Pirophan Laoyont & Thodsapol Siriwiwat
Starring
Dollaros Dachapratumwan as Jo
Wichan Jarujinda as Dr.Taa
Kanya Rattapetch as Ae
Chidjan Rujiphun as Nook
The Asians have got to be the producers of some of the weirdest shit ever put to celluloid. The culprit this time is Taiwan. The film is Sick Nurses. The beginning of the film starts off like a Girls Gone Wild video. The titular nurses are young, beautiful and dress the way a nurse would dress if she were part of some teenage kids sex fantasy. The film even includes a set of twins who make out with each other and tell one another that the other is “the most beautiful girl.”
But wait, there is a plot underneath all this frivolity. Before you know it Nurses Gone Wild turns into Nurses Gone Gory. Turns out this bevy of beauties was involved in an organ harvesting scheme and when one of their own threatens to expose them she is quickly murdered to keep her quiet. Now, if you have seen any Asian ghost film then you know that the ghosts do not take things lightly. Next thing you know you got this mysterious dark figure running roughshod over the nurses and killing them off in all kinds of sick ways.
If you like your foreign films to be sick and twisted, then this may be the film for you. But be forewarned. The plot is threadbare and sometimes not noticeable at all. It’s also got some pretty horrible acting. On the plus side, the gore is pretty cool and there is plenty of it.
Yep, the Asians sure put out some weird shit. Before anyone steps up and calls me me a racist or something like that I will tell you that I mean that as a compliment. I, for one, happen to like weird shit.
1/2
DEVIL
DEVIL-United States-2010
Directed by John Eric Dowdle
Written by Brian Nelson and M. Night Shyamalan
Starring
Chris Messina as Detective Bowden
Logan Marshall-Green as Tony Janekowski
Jenny O’Hara as Old Woman
Bojana Novakovic as Sara Caraway
Bokeem Woodbine as Ben Larson
Devil begins with a quote from the Holy Bible from Peter 5:8. It is the verse about us being vigilant, about the devil prowling about like a roaring lion. Almost immediately afterward, there is a suicide. The narrator of the film tells us that his mother told him when he was a child that this is how it would always begin, with a suicide.
We are also introduced to Detective Bowden, who is a recovering alcoholic. His wife and child were killed by a hit and run driver who left a note on the windshield expressing his sorrow (“I’m so sorry”). Detective Bowden is investigating the body found on top of a delivery truck; a body that definitely fell from a great height. Maybe even from the 35th floor of a high-rise office building.
Five people step onto an elevator. They are three men and two women. The elevator breaks down and they are stuck high above the ground floor. By the time they are rescued all but one will be dead. One of them also will not be who they appear to be. In fact, one of them may indeed be that roaring lion. Prowling about, seeking to devour.
To be honest, I was ready to absolutely hate this film. I mean, after all isn’t it cool to hate whatever M. Night Shyamalan puts his hands on nowadays? The thing is, after a while, after turning out crap movies with crap plots eventually someone gets it right again. Shyamalan didn’t direct Devil, but he is a co-writer. This film appears to be his turn at getting it right again.
The film reminded me of a horror film from the 1972 entitled Tales From the Crypt. It is the story of five strangers who are given a glimpse of their fates. All of them have secrets. So do the people on the elevator in Devil. All of them must eventually pay for their transgressions as do the people in Devil. That is all I’m going to say. To tell anymore would ruin the film for you.
Devil is not a perfect film. There are spots that drag and the pacing of the film is off a time or two. The performances are all good for the most part even if some of them are somewhat cookie-cutter. How many films have you seen with a cop who is an alcoholic or a security guard with a criminal record?
The film is the first in what Shyamalan refers to as the Night Chronicles 1. These are stories of the supernatural within modern society. It will be interesting to see what 2 has in store.
But, alas, Devil is better than the sum of its parts. So at the end of it all, I choose to give it a good review and a positive rating.
By the way, the devil didn’t make me do it.
