Category Archives: Werewolf Films
ANIMALS
ANIMALS-United States-2012
Marc Blucas as Jarrett (Image not from film)
Nicki Aycox as Nora (Image not from film)
Eva Amurri as Jane (Image not from film)
Andy Comeau as Jules (Image not from film)
Naveen Andrews as Vic (Image not from film)
Directed by Arnold Cassius
Adaptation and written by Craig Spector
Based on the novel by John Skipp and Craig Spector
I want to begin by asking a question that is mainly aimed at movie reviewers like me: have you ever watched a movie that was so unbelievably bad that you found yourself at a loss or a near loss for words when it came time to review it? If your answer is yes then you know exactly how I feel about Animals. I want to kick Craig Spector’s ass for writing the screenplay to this film as it is a complete bastardization of his excellent book co-written with John Skipp. I think that John Skipp should sue Spector and the filmmakers for defamation of character. I think Nicki Aycox should sue the filmmakers for telling her this was going to be a werewolf film when it was really a soft-core porno film. I saw Aycox naked so many times in this movie I felt like I was cheating on my wife. This movie is so bad it makes Showgirls look like a Scorcese film.
The plot reads like a porn script with werewolves tossed in as an afterthought. Jarrett (Marc Blucas, Knight and Day, They) meets Nora (Nicki Aycox, 51, Jeepers Creepers 2); they screw. They meet again and guess what; yep, they screw again. They meet for a third time, only this time instead of screwing Jarrett performs an oral sex scene with Nora that looks all too real. Did I mention Vic (Naveen Andrews, Planet Terror, The English Patient), Nora’s jealous werewolf boyfriend? How about Jane (Eva Amurri, Dead Man Walking, Saved!), the waitress/bartender with the hots for Jarrett and who knows a little more than she lets on. Amurri is the only redeeming quality in this laughable film.
Bad writing, bad directing, unnecessary use of slo-mo, music for porno and horrific effects add up to a film that a werewolf would piss all over after tearing the hearts out of the people who made it. Animals bites, and not in the kinky sexy way; after it was over I left $20.00 and a can of Alpo on the nightstand.
One more thing; IMDb.com users gave this a 3.8 rating; Netflix users rated it 4½ out of 5 stars. Studies show that the majority of Netflix users may very well be mentally challenged.
NO TRIVIA
½
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STRIPPERS VS. WEREWOLVES
STRIPPERS VS. WEREWOLVES-United Kingdom-2012
Note: I couldn’t find a decent larger-sized photo from Strippers vs. Werewolves to save my life. However, I do believe the photographs that I found of the cast, in particular the female cast members, will serve as suitable replacements. This has been a public service announcement. Thank you.
Adele Silva as Justice. Of course there’s a stripper named Justice.
Ali Bastian as Dani. I bet the writers took a poll of the most popular stripper names. Strippers, poll; get it?
Barbara Nedeljakova as Raven. Seriously, her parents named her Raven. They’re so proud.
Lucy Pinder as Carmilla. Okay, Carmilla is a cool stripper name. Nothing smart-ass to say here so let’s move it along, folks. Oh wait, I’m sorry; she doesn’t play a stripper. Never mind.
Steven Berkoff as Flett. Flett? Really?
Robert Englund as Tapper. Tapper? What, “Freddy Krueger” was taken?
Directed by Jonathan Glendening
Screenplay by William Barron and Pat Higgins
What is it with strippers and supernatural creatures? First, there was Zombie Strippers (2008) which showed us that Jenna Jameson’s talent goes no further than taking her clothes off. Then there came Zombies vs. Strippers (2012). How original; just take the word “Zombie” and the word “Stripper” and flip it around and add a ‘vs.” in between the two. I didn’t see this one and something tells me I don’t want to. Let’s also not forget Zombies Zombies Zombies: Strippers vs. Zombies (2008). Anyway, we now come to Strippers vs. Werewolves; which may be my last post unless I can talk my wife into writing my posts based on my dictation. The reason being is that I may dig out my eyes with a spoon after seeing this debacle.
Let’s start with the plot. A stripper, Justice (Adele Silva, Doghouse) accidentally kills a guy who turns into a werewolf while she’s giving him a private dance. Her boss, Jeanette (Sarah Douglas, Superman II), seems to know a lot more about werewolves than the owner of a strip joint should know and tells her they have to get rid of the body before it’s too late and they’re all dead. It’s always too late in this type of film and pretty soon we have a battle going on between the strippers and the werewolves. That’s the plot. I heard the writer of The Kings Speech lost sleep over wishing that he had written Strippers vs. Werewolves.
Let’s cut this short. I shouldn’t have to waste a post on this poorly directed, horribly written, badly acted and laughably edited piece of garbage. Robert Englund (The Mangler), Steven Berkoff (Beverly Hills Cop), Barbara Nedeljakova (Hostel) and Sarah Douglas are wasted in this dung pile. Don’t even get me started on the werewolves. Basically the make-up guy called the gofer over and handed him fifty dollars and said. “Alright Skippy, what I want you to do is I want you to run down to the Spirit Store and get some of them fake werewolf ears and some of them fake werewolf hands and I want you to bring ‘em back here, alright? Make sure and get yourself something with the forty dollars you’ll have left over.” Strippers vs. Werewolves is the result of someone who took too many drugs and watched too much horror and porno movies. The result is a wet dream that tries to bite off its own leg in order to wake up from itself. Now, would someone please wake me up and tell me that it was all a horrible dream?
TRIVIA
Robert Englund’s character is incarcerated in HM Chaney Prison – a nod to original Wolfman star Lon Chaney Jr.
There’s an homage to An American Werewolf in London when a dart playing lycanthrope grumbles “you made me miss”.
Took a total of £38.00 at the (UK) box office when first released.
¼
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WEREWOLF: THE BEAST AMONG US
WEREWOLF: THE BEAST AMONG US-United States-2012
Ed Quinn as Charles
Stephen Rea as Doc
Guy Wilson as Daniel
Nia Peeples as Vadoma
Rachel Katharine DiPillo as Eva
Adam Croasdell as Stefan
Steven Bauer as Hyde
Directed by Louis Morneau
Story by Michael Tabb
Screenplay by Michael Tabb and Louis Morneau and Catherine Cyran
I’ve read on a few websites that Werewolf: The Beast Among Us is a sequel, or spin-off, of the Universal Pictures remake of The Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro. I really don’t see how either description can be accurate; a sequel or a spin-off usually contains at least one character or element of the original film of which it is carrying over from. Werewolf: The Beast Among Us has neither. By the way, just because both films have a werewolf doesn’t count.
Werewolf: The Beast Among Us opens with the customary prologue in which, as a child, one of the main characters of the film witnesses his family as they are slaughtered by the beast. This time it’s Charles, played as a child by Stefan Iancu (Born to Raise Hell) and as an adult by Ed Quinn (Eureka, House of the Dead II), who goes from boy to man and becomes the leader of a band of werewolf hunters which include Steven Bauer (Scarface) and Adam Croasdell (Supernatural, Bondjamesbond). The gang meets Daniel (Guy Wilson, The Open Door, and The Midnight Game) and soon discovers that this is no ordinary werewolf they’re hunting. “This thing thinks like a man”, one of the hunters says. Well thank you, Mr. Obvious. Who is the beast? When will it kill again? Can it be stopped? Can it be controlled? Does it have fleas? The answers to these questions except for the fleas one can be found in the thrilling tale of Werewolf: The Beast Among Us. Then again, maybe the questions will not be answered.
Werewolf: The Beast Among Us starts out with a little promise and an exciting beginning; but it suffers through a slow second act and a ridiculous finale. The characters are one-dimensional to the point of being as flat as Andre Delambre’ head in The Fly and there are so many red herrings (which I know are a given for this type of film) that it becomes increasingly ridiculous. For a movie about a seven foot tall beast that ‘thinks like a man’, Werewolf: The Beast Among Us is still feeding on puppy chow.
MY WEREWOLF ATE THE TRIVIA FOR THIS FILM
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UNDERWORLD:EVOLUTION
UNDERWORLD:EVOLUTION-United States-2006
Scott Speedman as Michael
Tony Curran as Marcus
Shane Brolly as Kraven
Steven Mackintosh as Tanis
Sir Derek Jacobi as Corvinus
Bill Nighy as Viktor
Directed by Len Wiseman
Story by Len Wiseman and Danny McBride
Screenplay by Danny McBride
When last we left our star-crossed lovers at the end of the first Underworld, Selene (Kate Beckinsale, Laurel Canyon, Serendipity) had just taken a little off the top of Viktor’s head and Michael (Scott Speedman, The Strangers) had just hulked out and turned into a vampire/lycan hybrid. Together the two of them walked away from it all and into an uncertain future with Selene muttering something in that sexy British voice about not knowing what the future holds and how the ‘consequences of this night will reverberate through the halls of both great covens for many years to come. ‘Hell, all I want to know is how she poured herself into those leather pants. Of course I wondered the same thing about Olivia Newton-John in Grease.
So, we come now to Underworld: Evolution and this time we begin with a flashback to Viktor (Bill Nighy, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1) and Marcus, the first vampire and their attempt to capture Marcus’ brother William, the first lycan. Viktor promises Marcus that no harm will come to William and Marcus takes him at his word. I was yelling ‘liar, liar! pants on fire!’ before he even finished speaking. After Viktor betrays Marcus (Tony Curran, Blade 2, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) and has William imprisoned forever in a secret location, the urge to say ‘I told you’ so was very strong in this one.
Back to the future now; Selene and Michael are hiding out after Selene has killed Viktor. Marcus, alive and real damn ugly, kills Kraven (Shane Brolly) and after sucking the blood, and information, out of his veins, sets out to find the two of them. Selene has a medallion that is the key to Williams’s prison and Marcus wants it in a bad way. Throw in Sir Derek Jacobi (The Borgias, Mystery: Cadfael) as Alexander Corvinus, father of Marcus and William, and you have the first sequel in the Underworld franchise.
As a horror fan I should detest movies like this. Films that focus more on fancy gun play and cool fight scenes than on horror and gore. The thing is I don’t detest them; I actually enjoy them for the most part. Sure they get a bit tedious and repetitive, but they’re also entertaining. None of the Underworld films is anywhere near as good as the horror-action hybrids The Descent or Dog Soldiers, but they serve the same purpose; they take our minds off of paying bills, working boring jobs or dealing with morons for 90 minutes or more. Sometimes that’s all I ask out of a movie.
TRIVIA
Kate Beckinsale’s chair had, instead of her name, “My Sweetie” on it surrounded by tiny hearts.
While filming a scene where Selene and Michael look at each other longingly, director Len Wiseman surprised the cast and crew by playing Bryan Adams’ song “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)”, at which everyone started laughing.
According to actor Tony Curran himself, he stipulated in his contract that he wanted to be able to keep his Vampire fangs in at all times, even when he wasn’t filming.
The little girl that plays young Selene is Lily Mo Sheen, the daughter of Kate Beckinsaleand Michael Sheen.
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THE WOLF MAN
THE WOLF MAN-United States-1941
Claude Rains as Sir John Talbot
Warren William as Doctor Lloyd
Ralph Bellamy as Colonel Montford
Patrick Knowles as Frank Andrews
Bela Lugosi as Bela
Maria Ouspenskaya as Maleva
Evelyn Ankers as Gwen Conliffe
Lon Chaney, Jr. as Lawrence Talbot/The Wolf Man
Directed by George Waggner
Original Screenplay by Curt Siodmak
Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night…
…Anyone can become a werewolf. Take Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney, “Billy the Kid”, “Man Made Monster“), for example. Here we have a man returning home after 18 years away from his father. It takes his brother’s death to bring him back, but the prodigal son has returned and the father (Claude Rains, “The Invisible Man“, and “Mystery of Edwin Drood”) is ready to teach him the ways of the Talbot Estate. Larry is a good man, a decent man. He may be a little too confident for his own good, but has that ever hurt anyone? He’s even met Gwen (Evelyn Ankers, “Hold That Ghost“) and they’re going for a walk later on…
…may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms…
…It’s funny how fate has a way of interfering with our everyday lives. Larry is attacked by a werewolf on his walk through the woods with Gwen. Maleva the Gypsy woman (Maria Ouspenskaya) tells him “Whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself.” Larry doesn’t believe her at first; but then the body count starts piling up and he must live with the consequences of his actions…
…and the autumn moon is bright…
…As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a werewolf. My sister is partially to blame for this fantastic desire. She used to tell me that there was a werewolf in the closet to try and get me to behave myself. Usually her little trick worked since my young mind shuddered at the thought of this horrible beast leaping from within the darkness of my closet to rip me apart. But soon fright turned to curious fascination and I found myself reading every book and watching every movie that featured a werewolf or a wolf man that I could get my hands on. “The Wolf Man” is the classic tale of the beast that resides in all of us. It sounds like a cliché, but it’s the truth. Man is the beast and the beast is a man. In his day Robert Louis Stevenson knew this to be true. Curt Siodmak based “The Wolf Man” around this belief and even today writers like Brian Easton (“The Autobiography of a Werewolf Hunter”) and Carrie Vaughn (“Kitty and the Midnight Hour“) carry on the tradition of the beast. “The Wolf Man” is classic, he is horror and he is eternal.
TRIVIA
Larry Talbot’s brother’s name was John.
In the first version of the script, Larry was not the prodigal son of Sir John Talbot, nor related to him in any way. He was an American engineer who comes to fix Sir John’s telescope, and ends up getting trapped in the werewolf curse.
“Even a man who is pure at heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.” This quote has been listed in some sources as an authentic Gypsy or Eastern European folk saying. Writer Curt Siodmak admits that he simply made it up. Nonetheless, the rhyme would be recited in every future Universal film appearance of the Wolf Man, and would also be quoted in Van Helsing. (Albeit, slightly modified, “The moon is shining bright.” rather than “The autumn moon is bright.”)
According to the documentary on the Recent Wolf Man DVD collection, the script for The Wolf Man was influenced by writer Curt Siodmak’s experiences in Nazi Germany. Siodmak had been living a normal life in Germany only to have it thrown into chaos and himself on the run when the Nazis took control, just as Larry Talbot finds his normal life thrown into chaos and himself on the run once he is turned into a werewolf. Also, the wolfman himself can be seen as a metaphor for the Nazis: an otherwise good man who is transformed into a vicious killing animal who knows who his next victim will be when he sees the symbol of a pentagram (i.e., a star) on them.
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MONSTER BRAWL
MONSTER BRAWL-Canada-2011
Dave Foley as Buzz Chambers
Robert Maillet as Frankenstein
Kevin Nash as Colonel Crookshank
Jimmy Hart as Himself
Herb Dean as Himself
and featuring Lance Henriksen as the voice of God.
Written and directed by Jesse T. Cook
There are two things I love in this world; horror movies and professional wrestling. It was around the age of seven years old that my sister began scaring the crap out of me and leaving a lasting mark by telling me that there was a werewolf in my closet just waiting for the full moon to ravage and devour my tender young body. Wait a minute, stop, hold on, time out. Did I just say ‘my tender young body’? That sounds so…icky. The next thing you know I’ll have NAMBLA following my blog. Back off, you sick pervs!
Cut to three years later and at the age of ten I attended my very first professional wrestling match in 1972. The main event featured “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair and Johnny Valentine versus “Number One” Paul Jones and “The Eighth Wonder of The World” Andre the Giant. To say that it made an impression on my impressionable young mind would be the most understated of understatements. I am now 50 years old, and even though I know that pro wrestling is about as real as a Paris Hilton orgasm, I still have no intention of giving it up.
Now, for two interests as diverse as ‘rasslin’ and fright flicks you would think that never the two shall meet. But I am here to tell you right now that is as far from the truth as a porn star saying they’ve never done anal. Just look at the cinematic fright world for the match-ups that have taken place over the years. There’s King Kong versus Godzilla, Frankenstein versus The Wolf Man, Aliens versus Predator and on and on and on. Let us not also forget that professional wrestling has had its share of monstrosities. There’s The Undertaker, Kane, Gangrel, “The Monster” Abyss, Vampiro and many, many more creatures of the squared circle. Wrestling and monsters have been strange bedfellows for a number of years.
This brings me to the main event of the evening, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the battle for the ages, the fight of the century between the creatures and the undead. I am talking about the brawl to end it all and the war that will settle the score; the WrestleMania from the crypt and the death match of death matches. “Monster Brawl” is the type of movie that answers the question that we have all wanted to ask and would have done just that if we had just smoked a little more pot; what would happen if the world’s most (in) famous monsters met in the middle of the ring to determine who is the best of the best among the denizens of the darkness? Frankenstein, Werewolf, Lady Vampire, Zombie Man, The Mummy, Swamp Gut, Cyclops and Witch Bitch pound it out in the middle of the ring in this extravaganza of the weird. Lending a hand to the festivities are none other than “Big Daddy Cool” Kevin Nash and the “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. So, if you love wrestling and you love horror movies then you just cannot go wrong with “Monster Brawl.” However, if you’re looking for a movie full of metaphors, subtleties and Academy Award winning performances then I suggest you watch something else. But seriously, if you can’t enjoy a movie like this on the lowest of levels then you really need to get that stick out of your ass. Wooooo!!
P.S. There are actually three things I love in this world. The third and most important thing is my wife. I don’t sleep with monsters and I don’t sleep with pro wrestlers. I do sleep with my wife. So if I want that sleep to be a peaceful one I damn sure better give my baby her props. Hail to the queen of my world!!
NO TRIVIA
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THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF
THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF-United Kingdom-1961
Clifford Evans as Don Alfredo Corledo
Oliver Reed as Leon Corledo
Yvonne Romain as Servant Girl (Jailer’s Daughter)
Catherine Feller as Cristina Fernando
Directed by Terence Fisher
Written by Anthony Hinds
Based on the novel “The Werewolf of Paris” by Guy Endore
Don’t you just love these old horror movies? No matter how cheesy they are you just can’t seem to get enough of them. I remember these films from my childhood and I recall fond memories of Saturday afternoons spent watching horror movies on the local channels. Films like “The Curse of the Werewolf” kept my fingers in a position just under my eyes so that I could cover them quickly when the werewolf reared his horrible head. 40 years later and I find myself writing about the same movie that scared me so much as a boy. Life is grand.
The Curse of the Werewolf is the tale of Leon. Born on Christmas day he is cursed to become a beast, a killer, a werewolf. Oliver Reed plays the role of Leon to perfection. Here is a man who makes the most out of overacting and it shows in every scene he appears in. In the final scenes Reed is so terrifyingly good as the werewolf I actually found myself hiding my eyes like that little ten year old boy all those years ago. Alright, alright, I can’t back that up. I didn’t hide my eyes.
I hid under the bed. My dog looked at me like I was crazy. I looked at her like ‘who was under here first, bitch?’
Seriously though, “The Curse of the Werewolf” was one of my favorite horror films growing up. Watching it again after all these years was such a thrill despite the fact that it’s an overacted mess. The werewolf makeup still stands as some of the best of all time and I’m talking just as good as “The Wolf Man” here. The only question I have concerning the film is why was the werewolf’s fur blonde when Oliver Reed’s hair was black? That, my friends, is a mystery for the ages. Ah-woooooo!!!
TRIVIA
The only werewolf movie made by Hammer Studios.
Makeup-artist Roy Ashton based his makeup for this film on Jack P. Pierce’s makeup forThe Wolf Man.
In an interview, Richard Wordsworth stated that in the original screenplay his beggar character was a werewolf. Hammer told him that the censor had problems with the notion of a werewolf/rapist, so out it went.
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DARK WOLF
DARK WOLF-United States-2003
Samaire Armstrong as Josie (Image not from Dark Wolf)
Ryan Alosio as Steve Turley (Image not from Dark Wolf)
Andrea Bogart as Stacey (Image not from Dark Wolf)
Rick McCallum as Dark Wolf (Image not from Dark Wolf)
Tippi Hedren as Mary (Image not from Dark Wolf)
Kane Hodder as Biker Guy
Directed by Richard Friedman
Screenplay by Geoffrey Alan Holliday
Story by Geoffrey Alan Holliday and Charles David Scholl
Usually, when a movie has a scene in a strip club that scene is in the middle of the film and it’s not a good sign. Strip club scenes are notorious fillers, and when a movie has it at the very beginning, that’s a much worse sign of things to come for the rest of the film. Dark Wolf is that movie. There are bare breasts and bottoms galore in this movie. There’s former Playmate Jaime Bergman putting every bit of the $1.50 she spent on acting lessons into her performance. There’s Kane Hodder as a bad ass biker guy. Oh yeah, there’s a werewolf, too.
The plot, threadbare to the point of non-existent, is about a special division of the LAPD that hunts werewolves. It’s bad enough they beat the shit out of Rodney King (look him up, youngsters), but now they got to kill the werewolves as well. The particular werewolf they’re hunting is a hybrid, or dark wolf, hence the title. A dark wolf is the result of a human screwing the pooch, or the werewolf in this case. In order for the bloodline to continue, the dark wolf must find a human female who’s got the werewolf gene so he can get freaky with her. If my review sounds ridiculous, don’t blame me. I did not come up with this shit.
It’s not just the story that sucks. The acting is so bad in this movie that a sixth grade production of Twilight looks good next to it. The writing is so stereotypical it could sue for racial profiling. Stuff like ‘cop loses partner, argues with new partner that his old partner died last night, damn it!’ In other words, the kind of clichéd bullshit that should never exist in the first place. Thee werewolf looks like something that was on sale at Wal-mart. In other words, this is one bad movie.
I know that lately I’ve fallen into giving bad reviews to films. That’s not my fault. Show me a good movie and I will give it a good review. Cursed, Silver Bullet, Red Riding Hood, The Beast Within and now Dark Wolf are not good movies. To even think that they are is an insult.
NO TRIVIA
NO BLOOD DROPS
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CURSED
CURSED-United States/Germany-2005
Christina Ricci as Ellie
Directed by Wes Craven
Written by Kevin Williamson
Although I don’t intend to be as cruel as the majority of people who have watched and hated this film, I do intend to take it to task. I am assuming that we are all familiar with Wes Craven. You know the guy; The Last House on the Left, The Hills Have Eyes, The People Under the Stairs. Not ringing any bells? Oh, here you go; A Nightmare on Elm Street. Yes, that’s right, Freddy Krueger. Now you got it.
So, now that you know who Wes Craven is, how about Kevin Williamson? You know the guy that writes all those cool hipster horror films like the Scream series and The Faculty. Yeah, that guy. What’s that? In the back, do you have a question? Yes, Mr. Williamson did indeed write for The Vampire Diaries. That was very impressive, sir.
Now, we have it established that Misters Craven and Williamson have put together some pretty cool little horror movies both together and separately. So, knowing all this, would someone please explain Cursed to me? It has so much promise and yet it falls flat on its furry little snout. This tale of a brother and sister duo fighting the curse of the werewolf is the type of movie where the filmmakers scratch their heads and say, “Well, it looked good on paper.” Craven and Williamson try their best to make it hip and witty and each time they do it boils down to the equivalent of William Shakespeare promising “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and then telling dick and fart jokes. The only thing I can really say that this film has going for it is a decent werewolf and Christina Ricci (Monster). Even so, Ricci looks like she wants to be somewhere else and the werewolf in Bad Moon looked better than this one. Come to think of it, the werewolf in Red Riding Hood looked better than this one. When you let a werewolf in a movie directed by Catherine Hardwicke outdo you, you’re screwed.
So, gather ‘round werewolves of old. Gather ‘round this movie called Cursed. Now, lift your legs. You know what to do next.
Hmm, I guess I didn’t like this movie a little more than I thought.
TRIVIA
When the production was stalled, many cast members were cut, including Illeana Douglas, Heather Langenkamp, Scott Foley, Omar Epps, Robert Forster, James Brolin andCorey Feldman. All of these actors even filmed their scenes which were cut when the movie was re-written and re-shot.
Props of Freddy Krueger and the Elm Street house from Wes Craven’s earlier film _Nightmare On Elm Street, A (1984)_ can be seen in the background at Tinseltown during the first scene.
The cane on display in the beginning of the movie is the same one used in Storm of the Century by Stephen King.
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BAD MOON
BAD MOON-United States-1996
Mariel Hemingway as Janet
Michael Pare as Uncle Ted
Mason Gamble as Brett
Directed by Eric Red
Screenplay by Eric Red
Based on the novel “Thor” by Wayne Smith
Don’t go around tonight/Well it’s bound to take your life/There’s a bad moon on the rise-Creedence Clearwater Revival
After watching (suffering through) the debacle that was Red Riding Hood, I had to put myself back into familiar and welcome territory for the next installment of my werewolf movie reviews. Bad Moon has gotten a lot of bad press ever since its release in 1996 and I really don’t understand why. I personally think that the film appeals to many levels of movie lovers. The film is a mix of horror and family drama that would make lovers of both The Howling and The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin quite proud.
Michael Paré (Eddie and the Cruisers) is Uncle Ted, an explorer in the jungles of South America along with his girlfriend, Marjorie. Marjorie is attacked and killed by a werewolf and Ted is injured by the beast. We all know what that means. Pretty soon, Ted is back in the United States continuing his wicked, wolfie ways. Ted is invited by his sister Janet (Mariel Hemingway-Star 80) to come live with her and her young son, Brett (Mason Gamble of Dennis the Menace fame). As far as werewolves go, Ted is living pretty high on the hog. Seeing as how Janet and Brett live near the woods, Ted has his share of hikers to feast upon. If he runs out of that, he has Janet and the kid to feed on as a midnight snack. There’s just one little 0ne hundred and five pound catch; the family dog, Thor.
Being a werewolf movie fan, it’s always good to see the beast tear into the characters that deserve to have their asses, as well as the rest of their body parts handed to them. That doesn’t always mean I want to see the beast win. Bad Moon is one of those films where I am definitely pulling for the non-furry humans and their little dog, too. Seeing as how I own a gorgeous German Shepherd named Bella (not named after the character in Twilight, so put that shit out of your minds right now), it did my heart proud to see Thor kick some major werewolf ass. But that’s the entire deal with Bad Moon. The film boils down to the loyalty between man and beast. Ted is loyal to his mistress, the moon. Thor is loyal to the Boy and to the Woman. They are his friends, his family, and his pack.
Yes, Bad Moon comes off looking like a SyFy channel original movie. Yes, it’s overacted. But that doesn’t make it a horrible movie. What amazes me about the film is that it was clearly made on a shoestring budget and it still manages to be an effective little horror film. Red Riding Hood was made for millions of dollars and we got millions of dollars of shit.
TRIVIA
In the scene in which Janet makes breakfast, her son Brett is watching Werewolf of London on the television, and he and his Uncle Ted argue about werewolf lore. Actually, the lore that Brett argues that “everyone knows about”, such as details about silver bullets and wolfsbane, comes from The Wolf Man, which Curt Siodmak totally made up.
A few seconds of sex and gore was cut from the opening scene in oder to avoid an NC-17.
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