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WRONG TURN 5:BLOODLINES
WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES-United States-2012
Doug Bradley as Maynard
Camilla Arfwedson as Sheriff Angela
Simon Ginty as Billy
Paul Luebke as Gus (Image not from film)
Oliver Hoare as Julian (Image not from film)
Written and Directed by Declan O’Brien
Based on characters created by Alan B. McElroy
5?
Yes, 5.
5?!?
Did I stutter? Yes, I said 5. There have been 5 Wrong Turn movies? Okay, look, I am as surprised by this as you are and I’m the one that has to come up with something new to say about the fifth movie, Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines. So I need you to sit there like a happy idiot while I think. Okay?
Well, okay.
What are you going to say?
I’m going to talk about how this movie seems to take place just after the events of Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings. So, chronologically speaking it takes place long before the events of the first Wrong Turn. One Eye, Three Finger and Saw Tooth are no longer hiding out in the abandoned Glensville Sanatorium and have now taken on a mentor of sorts in Maynard, played by Doug Bradley.
Ooh ooh, I know him! He played Pinhead in the Hellraiser movies.
Very good, little retarded child! He even makes a reference to Pinhead in this movie.
I’m here all week. So, what happens next?
Well, it seems that every year this town in West Virginia holds the Mountain Man Music Festival. Everybody comes there to dress up like hillbillies, get drunk and listen to live music. These five kids; Billy, played by Simon Ginty; Cruz, Amy Lennox from Never Let Me Go; Gus, Paul Leubke; Lita, Roxanne McKee of A Game of Thrones and finally Julian, played by Oliver Hoare; they all come to Mountain Man to party and do drugs and all that kind of shit.
So you might as well write ‘Kill Me and Eat Me‘ across their foreheads.
You are catching on. These kids run into Maynard; who then attacks them and in turn they attack him and they all end up in jail after being arrested by the fetchingly arresting Sheriff Angela as portrayed by Camilla Arfwedson who had a part in The Duchess. At the jail Maynard starts making threats and saying that his ‘boys’ are coming to get him out and that the sheriff and the rest are not going to live to see the light of day blah blah blah. Pretty soon One Eye, Three Finger and Saw Tooth stab, electrocute, tenderize with sledgehammers, run over with trucks and tillers and basically kill their way through the rest of the movie.
Yeesh! So, is it any good?
Well, you know ‘good’ has become an irrelevant term for this series. The first one was good and the second one was really cool…
The first one had Eliza Dushku. Rrrrrrrrrreowr!!
Heh heh; down, boy. After that the movies have been a case of ‘okay, what are they going to come up with next to try and gross us all out?’ The last three Wrong Turn movies have been good only in the most primitive sense of the word. They are good because there are still people out there who enjoy them and want them to be good. Does that make any sense to you?
No, I’m still thinking about Eliza Dushku.
*Sigh* Say goodnight, dumb-ass.
Good night, dumb-ass.
MOVE ALONG NOW, YA HEAR? THERE’S NO TRIVIA TO SEE HERE.
Related articles
- Two New Red, Red, RED Band Trailers for Wrong Turn 5 (2012)! (horrorboom.com)
- REVIEW: Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (Blu-ray) (kdvr.com)
- Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines – Hillbilly Mash-Ups, Soundbites, and a Review to Chew On! (dreadcentral.com)
- Official Not Safe For Work Trailer Premiere for Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (dreadcentral.com)
- Six Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines Clips Hack Their Way into Your Heart (dreadcentral.com)
- Exclusive Clip from ‘Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines’ (screenrant.com)
- CONTEST: Win a copy of Wrong Turn 5:Bloodlines on Blu-Ray (entertainmentmaven.com)
- Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012) Movie Review (oldgamereviewer.com)
- Wrong Turn 5 Survival Guide (Upcoming Contest) (entertainmentmaven.com)
- Collins’ Crypt: Minute by Minute – WRONG TURN 5 (badassdigest.com)
WRONG TURN 4: BLOODY BEGINNINGS
WRONG TURN 4: BLOODY BEGINNINGS-United States and Germany-2011
Jennifer Pudavick as Kenia
Tenika Davis as Sara
Kaitlyn Wong as Bridget
Terra Vnesa as Jenna
Written and Directed by Declan O’Brien
Wrong Turn 4 is a heartwarming family movie about 3 young boys who, despite their individual physical and mental deformities, are able to band together as one and survive in a world that is cruel to them at every turn.
Nah, I’m just f**cking with you. It’s a prequel to the original Wrong Turn and it has lots and lots of blood, gore, dismemberment and decapitation. It tells the story of Three Finger, One Eye and Saw Tooth from the time that they are kids incarcerated at Glenville Sanatorium in 1974; to 2003 when they entrap, torture and kill a group of teenagers holed up in the now abandoned building to escape from a horrific snowstorm. Hmm, I really think that it might have been in their best interest to take a chance with the blizzard.
Now, anyone who is a fan of the Wrong Turn series knows that it’s famous for one thing and that is lots and lots of gore. That’s why I was a little worried when I saw that the writer/director for this film was Declan O’Brien. O’Brien was the director of Wrong Turn 3, which was by far the weakest film in the bunch. So I was a little worried. But after the death by garroting/decapitation and the human fondue scene I can easily say my worries were for naught. O’Brien seems to have learned from his mistakes and his time behind the camera for this installment is well spent.
Wrong Turn 4 is not going to appeal to everyone. If you like a gory horror film then it is definitely for you. If not, there’s always Twilight.
Trivia
Sean Skene, the actor who portrays Vincent, also doubles as Three Finger in the film.
In the special features section of the DVD, Terra Vnesa, Jenny Pudavick, Caitlyn Wong and Tenika Davis name the cutest of the inbred Hillbillies.
Related articles
- Event Report: Screamfest LA 2011: Exclusive Night #4 Photo Gallery, Chat with Declan O’Brien, and More! (dreadcentral.com)
- Cautious New Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings Imagery (dreadcentral.com)
- Exclusive: Declan O’Brien Talks Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings from the Set (dreadcentral.com)
- Wrong Turn 4 – Win a Signed Poster and Copy of the DVD (dreadcentral.com)
- Bloody Mary options in Boston and beyond (boston.com)
