Caleb:How old are you?
Jesse: Let’s put it this way: I fought for the South.
Jesse: We lost.
Directed by Ryan Schifrin
Story by Ryan Schifrin and James Morrison
Written by Ryan Schifrin
Last week there was a video article on Yahoo about a couple of people filming what they thought was a black bear foraging in the bushes. Then the bear stood up and it (allegedly) turned out to be a Sasquatch and the rest of the video is a lot of shaky camera work because the people are running scared and trying not to crap their drawers. I don’t know how true all this is but it got me to thinking; if Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as he is often referred to actually does exist then he has got one hell of a sense of humor. How else do you explain all the shaky videos where some yokel is filming some god-awful looking forest video for God knows what reason only to have a Bigfoot enter the scene and send them running like…like…well crap, I got nothing. But you know what I mean. I guarantee you that before that Sasquatch enters camera range he’s there with his buddies going, “Hey, guys, don’t look now but there’s another one. Ya’ll watch this. This is going to be good.”
Alright, I told you that little tale as a lead in to my review to the latest (it was released in 2006 and if there’s any newer ones after that I don’t know about them) Bigfoot movie extravaganza Abominable. It’s my way of saying that I didn’t take this movie seriously and neither should you. But, I will tell you this much; in the not so long list of Bigfoot movies it offers quite a few scares, is a lot of fun and may very well be the best of the bunch.
Preston Rogers (Matt McCoy, L.A. Confidential, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle) returns to the woods with his therapist as a form of rehab to help him get over the death of his wife in a climbing accident that left him a quadriplegic. It’s also a way to get a little rest and relaxation and it doesn’t hurt that soon after Preston moves in a group of hot young college babes led by Haley Joel (Crash Landing) and the perpetually naked Tiffany Shepis (Nightmare Man, Night of the Demons). But of course poor old Preston starts hearing things in the forest just outside his window and the next thing you know there’s a Bigfoot looking back at him. Now the rest of film deals with Preston trying to save the girls and get out of Dodge before Bigfoot chews them up and spits them out and makes Preston his personal bitch. Good times!!
As I mentioned earlier Abominable is just a whole lot of scary fun. There never seems to be a moment in the film where you felt that director Ryan Schifrin (son of composer Lalo Schifrin) is trying to say ‘Please, we are making a serious movie here,” The guy’s even smart enough to pepper the film with popular genre actors Jeffrey Combs (Re-animator), Lance Henriksen (Pumpkinhead) and Dee Wallace-Stone (The Howling). He’s also smart enough to actually let us get a look at the titular beast. Then again, there also lies the problem. The creature in Abominable is scary in medium shots or quick close-ups; but too much examination and we see that it looks like what would happen if Clint Howard had drunk sex with a Sasquatch and this was the result nine months later. I just hope Clint respected the lady Sasquatch in the morning. Anyway, I’m digressing here. Check out Abominable for some damn good scary Bigfoot and naked Tiffany Shepis fun.
Sheriff Halderman (Paul Gleason) is seen taking a sip from a mug with the quote “Don’t mess with the bull”. Paul Gleason’s famous character of Principal Richard Vernon from The Breakfast Club (and reprised in Not Another Teen Movie) has a line “Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns” as he’s reprimanding John Bender (Judd Nelson).
Tiffany Shepis was pregnant when she acted in this film.
Rex Linn agreed to act in the movie under the condition that he got to play the monster in one scene.
The director’s father composed the musical score.
- Obama Nation #Mustwatch #lowkey #terrorist (kractivist.wordpress.com)
- Abomination Bon-Bon (milleniology.wordpress.com)
- The Abomination and Obamanation of Same-sex Marriage (raptureimminent.wordpress.com)
- Abomination! (igbokwenuradio.wordpress.com)
- Sasquatch sighting downtown astonishes (trailstrialstrivialities.blogspot.com)
- Believing in the search for Sasquatch (tv.msnbc.com)
- Cryptozoology: The hunt for “hidden” animals (cbsnews.com)
- Morning Jolt: Anthropologist to use blimp to look for Bigfoot (galesburg.com)
- Morning Jolt: Anthropologist to use blimp to look for Bigfoot (pekintimes.com)
- AICN HORROR goes Sasquatchonian all over again with SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED! THE CAPTURE OF BIGFOOT! DEAR GOD NO! ABOMINABLE! BIGFOOT 2012! & an advance look at SEXQUATCH and BIGFOOT COUNTY!!! (aintitcool.com)
ALIENS-United States/United Kingdom-1986
Directed by James Cameron
Story by James Cameron, David Giler and Walter Hill
Screenplay by James Cameron
Based on characters created by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett
Do you ever have that problem where, you’re writing a review, and the movie you’re reviewing is so good that you just want to load every superlative onto it that your mind can conjure? The problem with that is that if you do you know you’re going to come off sounding like some pompous jerk.
So what do you do in this situation? You dial it down; which is what I’m going to do. I’m going to dial down all my ‘pompous jerk’ superlatives into three simple words:
Aliens fucking rocks.
There is not one scene in this entire film that doesn’t crackle with excitement, with urgency. Even the quietest scenes are the fuse that will light the powder keg for the more explosive moments in the movie. Director James Cameron has taken all the intensity of his previous The Terminator and cranked it up to ten for Aliens.
I’m giving you the bare bones details. Ripley (Sigourney Weaver, Copycat, The Cabin in the Woods) returns with a squadron of marines to the planet where the crew of the Nostromo first encountered the vicious xenomorph of 1979’s Alien. In the years since that time a mining colony has been established and all contact with it has been lost. For the next 45 minutes or more Ripley and the marines encounter and do battle with hundreds, maybe thousands of the bloodthirsty creatures. The tagline for Aliens is ‘This time it’s war’ and war is what we get as the beasts come out of the walls, from the ceiling and even up from the floors to attack and conquer.
In one of Aliens quieter moments a little girl, Newt, the only survivor, is discovered and Ripley becomes a surrogate mother to her for the rest of the film. The amazing thing about this is that it breaks the main premise of Aliens down into something very simple and that is that a mother, a good mother, will go to any lengths to protect her child. In the end, when it’s down to Ripley, Cpl. Hicks (Michael Biehn, The Victim, Planet Terror), the android Bishop (Lance Henriksen, Pumpkinhead, Millenium) and Newt (Carrie Henn), the last thing standing in the way of them getting off of the planet is the queen alien, a being so magnificent that mere words cannot begin to describe her. That’s a cliché, yes, but one that is loaded with truth. The final battle between Ripley and the queen is an amazing sight to behold. Here, we have two mothers; one human and one alien fighting for the lives of their children.
In the 26 years since its release in 1986, Aliens has stood the test of time as not only a great science fiction film, but as a spectacular action film that can be regarded as one of the finest in cinema. I get the strong feeling that I could make that statement in another 26 years. If Alien is the perfect science fiction/horror film, then Aliens is the perfect science fiction/action film.
Hicks was originally played by James Remar, but Michael Biehn replaced him a few days after principal photography began, due to “artistic differences” between Remar and director James Cameron. However, Remar still appears in the finished film – but wearing the same armor, and shot from behind, it’s impossible to tell the difference between the two actors.
All of the cast who were to play the Marines (with the exception of Michael Biehn, who replaced James Remar one week into filming) were trained by the S.A.S. (Special Air Service, Britain’s elite special operations unit) for two weeks before filming. Sigourney Weaver, Paul Reiser, and William Hope didn’t participate/attend the training because director James Cameron felt it would help the actors create a sense of detachment between the three and the Marines – the characters these three actors played were all outsiders to the squad; Ripley being an advisor to the Marines while on the trip to LV-426, Burke being there just for financial reasons and Gorman being a newly-promoted Lieutenant with less experience than most of the Marines.
Having hired James Cameron to write the screenplay, 20th Century Fox then did the unthinkable when he left the production to direct The Terminator: they agreed to wait for Cameron to become available again and finish the screenplay. Cameron had only completed about 90 pages at that stage, but the studio had loved what he had written so far.
To bring the alien queen to life would take anything between 14 and 16 operators.
Al Matthews, who plays a Marine sergeant in this film, was in real life the first black Marine to be promoted to the rank of sergeant in the field during service in Vietnam.
In the scene where the crew is getting dressed after waking up from hypersleep, Hudson says, “Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?” to which Vasquez answers, “No. Have you?” This is “borrowed” from Hollywood legend. Columnist Earl Wilson once asked Tallulah Bankhead, “Have you ever been mistaken for a man?” Bankhead responded, “No darling. Have you?”
- NYCC: Aliens: Colonial Marines Preview (escapistmagazine.com)
- The Terminator (1984) (behance.net)
- He’s a veteran of such flicks as Terminator and Aliens (lfpress.com)
- Aliens Colonial Marines (scifitalk.com)
- Corporal Hicks Returns in Aliens: Colonial Marines (escapistmagazine.com)
- Hands-On First Look at ‘Aliens: Colonial Marines’ (forbes.com)
- Countdown to Halloween #12: Alien Xenomorph (grizzlybomb.com)
- Blu-Ray Review: Michael Biehn’s The Victim (thepeoplesmovies.com)
- The Time James Cameron Apologized To HR Giger For ALIENS (badassdigest.com)
- Be The Ball …. (strategiclearner.wordpress.com)
and featuring Lance Henriksen as the voice of God.
Written and directed by Jesse T. Cook
There are two things I love in this world; horror movies and professional wrestling. It was around the age of seven years old that my sister began scaring the crap out of me and leaving a lasting mark by telling me that there was a werewolf in my closet just waiting for the full moon to ravage and devour my tender young body. Wait a minute, stop, hold on, time out. Did I just say ‘my tender young body’? That sounds so…icky. The next thing you know I’ll have NAMBLA following my blog. Back off, you sick pervs!
Cut to three years later and at the age of ten I attended my very first professional wrestling match in 1972. The main event featured “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair and Johnny Valentine versus “Number One” Paul Jones and “The Eighth Wonder of The World” Andre the Giant. To say that it made an impression on my impressionable young mind would be the most understated of understatements. I am now 50 years old, and even though I know that pro wrestling is about as real as a Paris Hilton orgasm, I still have no intention of giving it up.
Now, for two interests as diverse as ‘rasslin’ and fright flicks you would think that never the two shall meet. But I am here to tell you right now that is as far from the truth as a porn star saying they’ve never done anal. Just look at the cinematic fright world for the match-ups that have taken place over the years. There’s King Kong versus Godzilla, Frankenstein versus The Wolf Man, Aliens versus Predator and on and on and on. Let us not also forget that professional wrestling has had its share of monstrosities. There’s The Undertaker, Kane, Gangrel, “The Monster” Abyss, Vampiro and many, many more creatures of the squared circle. Wrestling and monsters have been strange bedfellows for a number of years.
This brings me to the main event of the evening, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the battle for the ages, the fight of the century between the creatures and the undead. I am talking about the brawl to end it all and the war that will settle the score; the WrestleMania from the crypt and the death match of death matches. “Monster Brawl” is the type of movie that answers the question that we have all wanted to ask and would have done just that if we had just smoked a little more pot; what would happen if the world’s most (in) famous monsters met in the middle of the ring to determine who is the best of the best among the denizens of the darkness? Frankenstein, Werewolf, Lady Vampire, Zombie Man, The Mummy, Swamp Gut, Cyclops and Witch Bitch pound it out in the middle of the ring in this extravaganza of the weird. Lending a hand to the festivities are none other than “Big Daddy Cool” Kevin Nash and the “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. So, if you love wrestling and you love horror movies then you just cannot go wrong with “Monster Brawl.” However, if you’re looking for a movie full of metaphors, subtleties and Academy Award winning performances then I suggest you watch something else. But seriously, if you can’t enjoy a movie like this on the lowest of levels then you really need to get that stick out of your ass. Wooooo!!
P.S. There are actually three things I love in this world. The third and most important thing is my wife. I don’t sleep with monsters and I don’t sleep with pro wrestlers. I do sleep with my wife. So if I want that sleep to be a peaceful one I damn sure better give my baby her props. Hail to the queen of my world!!
- Sheamus and the 20 Greatest Brawlers in WWE History (bleacherreport.com)
- Monster Brawl (2011) (horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com)
- REVIEW: Monster Brawl (Blu-ray) (kdvr.com)
- War of the Gargantuas (1968) (oldgamereviewer.com)
- New Zaat Movie (seqnfoqm.typepad.com)
- In Defense Of … Billy Corgan’s Foray Into Professional Wrestling (Column) (popmatters.com)
- Buy Zombie Farm Movie Online (acyoavi.typepad.com)
- ‘Sherlock Holmes,’ ‘Ghost Rider’ hit shelves this week (independentmail.com)
- John Ary On MONSTER BRAWL!! (aintitcool.com)
- Stop Blaming Rihanna for the Brawl (theroot.com)
- WWE WrestleMania 28: Could This Be Jericho’s Last WrestleMania? (bleacherreport.com)
- The Undying Monster Movie Dvd (ucvmzqn.typepad.com)
- Drake, Police Questioning: Rapper Refuses to Turn Himself in Following Brawl With Chris Brown (theboombox.com)
- Exclusive Interview: Filmmaker Jesse Thomas Cook Talks Monster Brawl, Ejecta and More (dreadcentral.com)
- WrestleMania 28: Why We Love Professional Wrestling’s Grandest Event (bleacherreport.com)
- New Orleans Ladies Arm Wrestling, Maytime Brawl is Saturday (videos.nola.com)
- Download Superstar Series: Nature Boy Ric Flair Movies (bboeuyd.typepad.com)
- Hardcore band EVA releases video for ‘Pro-Wrestling is Real; People Are Fake’ (charlestoncitypaper.com)
- Frank Mir Open to Pro Wrestling? (asatt6.wordpress.com)
- Chris Brown Will Not Be Charged Over Drake Brawl (noise11.com)
- Brawl at Denny’s in Redlands caught on tape (abclocal.go.com)
- Does Curiosity Always Kill the Cat? An SML Review of “The Uninvited Visitor” (stuffmonsterslike.com)
- Video: The Massive Brawl That Broke Out During a Lacrosse Game Recently Might Just Be the Greatest Sports Brawl of All Time (complex.com)
- Rihanna ‘Disappointed’ in Drake and Company for Nightclub Brawl (celebs.gather.com)
- A$AP Rocky Brawl At London Show (rapradar.com)
- Lance Henriksen Talks TRON: UPRISING and the “Big Push” for a MILLENNIUM Movie (collider.com)
- Tony Parker is hurt in Brown-Drake brawl (espn.go.com)
- Foresight Features: Canada’s unlikely horror film factory (macleans.ca)
Directed by Stan Winston
Poem by Ed Justin
Story by Mark Patrick Carducci, Stan Winston and Richard Weinman
Screenplay Mark Patrick Carducci and Gary Gerani
The last time I saw “Pumpkinhead” was when the film was first released to video. I remember looking forward to the film as it was the directorial debut of SFX wizard Stan Winston and that it starred Lance Henriksen, an actor that I’d grown to like after his roles in “The Terminator” and as the android Bishop in “Aliens.” I also remember being disappointed as I was hoping the film would be gorier than what it turned out to be. It just so happens that I was at that stage in my evolution as a horror film fan where blood and guts won out over acting, direction and storytelling. Despite the titular creature and its penchant for violence, “Pumpkinhead” is ultimately a tale of suspense and revenge that could have been so much better had Winston had a little more experience under his belt as a filmmaker.
Lance Henriksen portrays Ed Harley, a man of the country and a loving single father to his young son Billy. Billy is mortally wounded after being hit by a motorcycle and when the rider and his friends flee the scene, Ed takes revenge the only way he knows how. He calls on an old woman, Haggis; who in turn conjures the demon known as Pumpkinhead in order to seek out and destroy the ones who killed his child. Pretty soon the demon is hot on their heels and fulfilling his part of the bargain. But Ed soon finds out that vengeance comes with a price tag much too powerful to pay.
The best thing about the film was Winston’s choice in casting Lance Henriksen in the lead role. Henriksen is an actor who has a strong command of the characters he portrays and in the humble opinion of this reviewer he is one of the most underrated actors in the business. That’s okay; horror fans have known for years how good the man is. It’s the rest of the world that needs to catch up.
So, many years later and a little bit wiser, I have come to enjoy “Pumpkinhead” for what it is; a suspense film in horror film clothing. It’s not perfect. Hell, sometimes it’s not even good. But it does what it sets out to do; it entertains while at the same time scaring the hell out of us.
This film, orphaned by the bankruptcy of De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, eventually garnered a spotty release when acquired by United Artists, which tested the film under the alternate title Vengeance – The Demon.
The one scene that made Lance Henriksen most want to take the role was where the deceased Billy sits up and asks his father what he’s done.
Film debut of Mayim Bialik.
Screenwriters Mark Patrick Carducci and Gary Gerani were inspired by the horror movies of Mario Bava.
- Hackett, Edi, and Kaidan Confirmed for ‘Mass Effect 3′ Extended Cut DLC (gamerant.com)
- Lance Henriksen (bizzam.wordpress.com)
- The Cabin in the Woods (2012) review (bizzam.wordpress.com)
- Hell, people were dropping dead right in the damn street! The Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day had to get out. (aintitcool.com)
- Lance Henriksen Talks TRON: UPRISING and the “Big Push” for a MILLENNIUM Movie (collider.com)
- Triangle (jmountswritteninblood.com)
- Lance Henriksen Says ‘Millennium’ Movie Is Going to Happen (screenrant.com)
- The Great Debates: Alien vs. Aliens (fogsmoviereviews.com)
- Film: Newswire: Lance Henriksen is pretty sure they’re making a Millennium movie (avclub.com)
- Rise and Shine for The Harsh Light of Day Trailer (dreadcentral.com)
- High Quality Dead Men Movie (auemdod.typepad.com)
- Alien Movie Downloads (nclhfol.typepad.com)
- Peter Pumpkinhead (spaninquis.wordpress.com)
- The Howling Leopard Downloads (cbeomyd.typepad.com)
- Kosmos – review (guardian.co.uk)
- Horror Movie Freak Author Don Sumner Presents the Horror Movies to Watch Over the 10 Days to Halloween (prweb.com)
- What if Where’s Waldo went on a killing spree? Behold, Where’s Jason! [This Is Awesome] (io9.com)
- Peace at Last (neatorama.com)
- Exclusive Images: Real Life Haunting at the Center of The House at the End of the Drive (dreadcentral.com)
- First Look at the Ragin’ Cajun Monstrosity Known as the Rugaru (dreadcentral.com)
- Nightmare Hour By R.L. Stine (ramblingsofabookaholic.wordpress.com)
- Film Review: Prometheus (cashierdecinema.com)
Directed by Steven C. Miller
Written by Anthony C. Ferrante
Story by Anthony C. Ferrante and Jacob Hair
BAD MOVIE!! BAD MOVIE!! Sorry, I had to smack this one on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. The damn thing pissed all over my carpet. I guess that’s what I get when I watch a movie with the SyFy label on it. Fucking trickster; it had the After Dark label on it, too. That’s what made me give it a chance. It’s like George Bush said: After Dark kind of good, SyFy very bad.
A bunch of Irish Knights from the 12th century trap a banshee and a group of dumbass archaeological students and their professor let it loose in this piece of shit movie. After they let it loose they have to figure out how to trap it. That’s the whole damn plot of this movie. This thing is so bad my mind began to wander all over the place. Scream of the Banshee is directed by Steven C. Miller so I thought Steve Miller and was hoping they would play ‘Jet Airliner’ or maybe ‘The Joker’ in the movie. I see Lauren Holly and start thinking about the very first time I saw her on Picket Fences. She was wearing a black bikini and bringing chocolate cake in a dream to the sheriff’s son. That memory caused an odd side effect that I will not go into further detail about. Oh, look, Lance Henriksen is in this movie. The DVD box says “Lauren Holly and Lance Henriksen”; so you would think he would be in the damn movie for more than five minutes.
The banshee looks like the Wicked Witch of the West after somebody dropped a giant box of oatmeal on her head. Yes folks, it is official; this movie sucks worse than a Kardashian on date night. Who said that? I said that!
- The World’s Most Powerful Non-Destructive Magnet Screams Like A Banshee (gizmodo.com.au)
- Official Aggression Scale Trailer Takes Aim (dreadcentral.com)
- Vocal: Banshee’s Wail (dansartblog.blogspot.com)
- The World’s Most Powerful Non-Destructive Magnet Screams Like a Banshee [Video] (gizmodo.com)
- Get Aggressive With These new Stills from The Aggression Scale (dreadcentral.com)
- Get on The Aggression Scale in May (dreadcentral.com)
- Dan Barrett (dansartblog.blogspot.co.nz)
- San Diego Comic-Con 2010: After Dark’s Ghoulish Plans! Win a 32 Gig iPad! (dreadcentral.com)
- San Diego Comic-Con 2010: Inside the After Dark Originals Booth (dreadcentral.com)
- Fifteen injured as passenger jet is forced to land at Gatwick (express.co.uk)