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TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D

It’s the beginning of a new year and with that comes the opportunity to do things a little differently than before. In the past when it came time to mention an actor/actress I would place their name in parentheses along with the title of another film they had previously appeared in. I will still use their name within the context of the review; however I will also list previous films they have appeared in after the trivia and rating. Let me know if you like this method better, or not.

TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D-United States-92 Mins. 2013 

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Alexandra Daddario as Heather Miller in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Alexandra Daddario as Heather Miller in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Tremaine 'Trey Songz' Neverson as Ryan in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Tremaine ‘Trey Songz’ Neverson as Ryan in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Tania Raymonde as Nikki in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Tania Raymonde as Nikki in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Thom Barry as Sheriff Hooper in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Thom Barry as Sheriff Hooper in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Paul Rae as Burt Hartman in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Paul Rae as Burt Hartman in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Bill Moseley as Drayton Sawyer in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Bill Moseley as Drayton Sawyer in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Gunnar Hansen as Boss Sawyer in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Gunnar Hansen as Boss Sawyer in Texas Chainsaw 3D

Directed by John Luessenhop

Screenplay by Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan and Kirsten Elms

Story by Stephen Susco, Adam Marcus and Debra Sullivan

Based on characters created by Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel

Texas Chainsaw 3D picks up where 1974’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre leaves off. Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns in archival footage) escapes the horror of the Sawyer family. Sheriff Hooper (Thom Barry) responds to the scene demanding that the family turn over Jed Sawyer (aka Leatherface) to answer for his involvement in the brutal slayings of Sally’s friends and her invalid brother. Hooper is interrupted in his request for a peaceable situation by Burt Hartman (Paul Rae) and his band of redneck vigilantes. The Sawyer home is burned to the ground and the infant child of one of the Sawyer women is taken and the mother is subsequently murdered.

Cut to modern day; Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario) receives word that she has inherited everything from her biological grandmother. Heather also discovers that she is adopted and that her birth name is-you guessed it-Sawyer. Heather was the child who was kidnapped in the attack on the Sawyer home; the very same home that has since been rebuilt and that she is now the owner thereof. Before you can say ‘road trip’ Heather, her boyfriend Ryan (Tremayne ‘Trey Songz’ Neverson) and their friends Nikki (Tania Raymonde) and Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sánchez) are on their way to Texas to check out her new digs. They pick up a hitchhiker, Darryl (Shaun Sipos), along the way, who later robs them blind. Don’t worry; Darryl doesn’t have any time to enjoy his ill-gotten gains before getting bashed in the head by the assumed to be dead Leatherface. Heather didn’t read the part of the will stating that she had inherited him, also. Next thing you know there’s the required amount of screaming and chainsaws separating body parts from their human attachments. Heather finds herself stuck between Leatherface and (now Mayor) Burt Hartman, who wants to kill her and Leatherface and close the book on the Sawyer family once and for all.

There is only word that I can use to properly describe Texas Chainsaw 3D: abomination. It spits in the face of the 1974 original classic and completely forgets all other films in the history of the franchise. I try to be fair and not judge a film prematurely; but within the first five minutes I knew that Texas Chainsaw 3D was going to be all wrong. The continuity between the two films is the first offender. If the attack on the Sawyer home takes place almost immediately after Sally Hardesty’s escape then who are all the people in the house? Did Drayton Sawyer (Bill Moseley), the cook, call up the entire family and tell them to get on over to the house? Speaking of the house, why does it look so clean both inside and out? The house in the 1974 film was a pig sty of human bones and squalor; the house in 3D is immaculate compared to that. Then there’s the issue of Heather; assuming that she was born in the year of the first movie, 1974, that would put her age at 39; and yet she appears to be no older than 21 years old.

It’s the climax of Texas Chainsaw 3D that is the most criminal. Say the words ‘kinder and gentler Leatherface’, try not to throw up in your mouth and you will know exactly what I mean. Leatherface wields his chainsaw like a revved-up phallic symbol; it’s just too bad he left his balls at home in his purse.

TRIVIA

Originally, a plan for a new trilogy was pitched. The films would be released out of chronological order, with the second film coming out first and being set almost entirely in a hospital. The next film would be a prequel explaining the events that led up to the hospital scenario. The third film would complete the storyline. Fearing it was too ambitious and risky, the producers opted for a follow up to the original instead.

In the opening scene, Bill Moseley, who portrayed Chop Top in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, portrays Drayton Sawyer, the cook from the first two films.

Has the distinction of featuring a total three different actors portraying Leatherface: Gunnar Hansen as the one from the archive footage, Sam McKinzie as a young Leatherface, and Dan Yeager as the main one.

NO BLOOD DROPS

Alexandra Daddario also appears in Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Tremayne ‘Trey Sonz’ Neverson also appears in Baggage Claim

Tania Raymonde also appears in Blue Like Jazz

Keram Malicki-Sánchez also appears in Punisher: War Zone

Shaun Sipos also appears in Final Destination 2

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SCREAM QUEEN OF THE MONTH-AUGUST 2013-TERI MCMINN

SCREAM QUEEN OF THE MONTH-AUGUST 2013-TERI MCMINN

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I’m going to do things a little bit differently with the August Scream Queen of the Month, Teri McMinn. I’m not going to tell you that she was born in Houston, Texas; or that she attended the University of Texas and St. Edwards University. Nor will I tell you that she’s the girl in this iconic photo:

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or this one:

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I’m not even going to tell you any of that interesting trivia that I include here so often; like she was working as a local actress in Texas when she was offered the part of Pam in the now iconic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; or that she’s an accomplished stage actress who has worked with the likes of Edward Hermann (Gilmore Girls) and Peter Breck (The Big Valley). Nope, I’m not doing any of that stuff. ;)

What I am going to do is include some quotes from the Scream Queen herself. I asked Teri if she would be kind enough to impart a few words of wisdom for her entry and she graciously complied. The quotes are coming up, but for now let us welcome the lovely and talented Miss Teri McMinn as Written in Bloods Scream Queen of the Month for August, 2013.

Quotes from Teri McMinn aka Pam, the O’riginal Chainsaw Gal:

In 2008, I was at a turning point in my life and ripe for a change. What it would be, I had no idea, but I was wide open. Truth be told, I had never been a fan of my performance in TCM. I had always looked at what I could have done better. I cringed when I heard myself speaking. This is not a-typical of an actor, in fact, I think its more common than not. Anyway, so I came “out,” and it’s mostly all been a blast and a half!

Believe it or not, I’ve planted, trimmed, re-planted, watered, fed, killed, thinned-out, nurtured, babied, neglected, been tricked by tricksters, designed, created, shared happiness, adored, adorable, un-adorable, discovered, threatened, succeeded, shared amazing friendships, lost, won, and failed.

I confess… I got lucky sometimes…

I’ve experienced great joy, fear, happiness, confusion, passion, bliss, love, ecstasy, satisfaction, often, little, too much, and not enough.

AFTER 10 EDITIONS OF “WHAT’S THEIR BEST FILM?”, WRITTEN IN BLOOD WEIGHS IN

Wow, I’ve done ten editions of “What’s Their Best Film?” already. In that time I have received great response from some of my regular and my non-regular commentators. I’m sure that a lot of you have voiced your opinion of not what you thought a particular filmmaker’s best movie was; but listed your favorite film from said director instead. Hey, that’s cool; because in order to accurately give an opinion of a director’s best movie you would have had to have seen every film in their catalog. I love movies, but I will not and cannot watch movies 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There are more important things such as work, supporting a family and figuring out ways to get Honey Boo Boo off the air. Damn what an annoying kid and her equally annoying mother!

So why am I babbling on and on? I shall tell you. In the last ten editions of “WTBF?” it has been you, dear reader, who has voiced your humble opinion. Now it’s my turn to give you my opinion. I will list each director below and I will tell what I think is their best movie or my favorite movie; whatever you want to call it.

Let’s begin:

MARTIN SCORSESE

Is it any surprise that I’m going with Goodfellas for this one? In my opinion it’s the greatest gangster flick ever made.

Runner-up: Taxi Driver

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MICHAEL BAY

Most of what Bay puts out is complete shit; but if I had to choose a movie of his to watch I’d go with Armageddon . At least it got the Criterion Collection treatment.

Runner-up: Transformers

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Alfred Hitchcock

Psycho. It’s my favorite “Hitch” film and in my humble opinion it is also his best. The shower scene alone is worth the price of admission.

Runner-up: Rear Window

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STEVEN SPIELBERG

Schlinder’s List. Spielberg may have given us the first summer blockbuster with Jaws; but with Schindler’s List he gave us his first and finest masterpiece. Ralph Fiennes is chilling as Amon Goeth.

Runner-up: Jaws

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QUENTIN TARANTINO

Two words: Kill Bill Vols. 1 and 2, Okay, so that’s six words. That’s because these movies rock so hard they blow up two words and turn them into six!

Runner-up: Pulp Fiction

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PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON

I loved Magnolia and watch it at least three times every year. There are just so many great performances in this film from Julianne Moore to John C. Reilly. Tom Cruise was robbed of an Oscar for his role as informercial sex guru Frank ‘T.J.’ Mackey.

Runner-up: Boogie Nights

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JOHN CARPENTER

Do you honestly think I would choose anything other than The Thing?

Runner-up: Halloween

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DAVID CRONENBERG

Jeff Goldblum had the role of a lifetime in Cronenberg’s vision of the George Langelaan short story The Fly. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Runner-up: The Dead Zone

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BRIAN DE PALMA

Some might say Carrie, some might say Scarface; I’m going with Blow Out as De Palma’s best. Travolta’s performance is one of the key reasons Tarantino wanted him for Pulp Fiction.

Runner-up: Carrie or Scarface (tie)

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ROBERT ALTMAN

I loved Short Cuts the first time I saw it and every time after that. Fantastic ensemble acting.

Runner-up: M*A*S*H

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ROBERT RODRIGUEZ

Not only is Sin City Rodriguez’ best film; but it is also the single most faithful adaptation of a graphic novel from page to screen that I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s also the movie that once again made a contender out of Mickey Rourke.

Runner-up: From Dusk ’til Dawn

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CLINT EASTWOOD

Unforgiven is one of the greatest westerns ever made. It was directed by Clint Eastwood; who in turn learned a few tricks from one of the greatest filmmakers, Sergio Leone.

Runner-up: Million Dollar Baby or Mystic River (tie)

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SAM RAIMI

This is cheating, but I’m going with the entire Evil Dead trilogy for this one. Who needs Spider-man when you’ve got Ash? Bruce Campbell rocks!!

Runner-up: Spider-man 2

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DARIO ARGENTO

To be honest, I’ve only seen three Argento films: Suspiria, Mother of Tears and Opera. Of the three of those I suppose my choice for his best would be Suspiria. What a creepy and atmospheric film.

Runner-up: Opera

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DARREN ARONOFSKY

I have to go with The Wrestler on this one. I’ve been a fan of the squared circle for quite a long time and it’s the first film to take the subject matter seriously. Mickey Rourke was amazing as Randy “The Ram” Robinson.

Runner-up: Black Swan

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WES CRAVEN

I could be a complete asshole and go totally against the popular choice of A Nightmare on Elm Street as Craven’s best; but that would just be stupid. He gave us Freddy Fucking Krueger with this one, for crying out loud!

Runner-up: The Last House on the Left or Scream (tie)

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TOBE HOOPER

Just as Craven brought usFreddy Krueger with his greatest film A Nightmare on Elm Street; so did Tobe Hooper bring us The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Leatherface 10 years prior. Watch this movie and you’ll think twice about picking up hitchhikers and eating Texas Bar-B-Que.

Runner-up: Poltergeist

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ALEXANDRE AJA

It may seem like a strange choice, but I pick his remake of Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes over High Tension (aka Haute Tension aka Switchblade Romance) as Aja’s best film. It’s close though; both movies are fucking brutal.

Runner-up: High Tension 

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ROB ZOMBIE

Some people seem to love Rob Zombie’s films and other people seem to hate his films and his fucking guts. There’s no middle ground. What’s his best film? That’s easy: The Devil’s Rejects.

Runner-up: Halloween

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JOE DANTE

What have I said before? The Howling is the greatest werewolf movie ever made; so the choice here is a no-brainer.

Runner-up: Gremlins

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STUART GORDON

Re-animator, of course. Those of you who disagree can get a job in a sideshow. This film brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘giving head.’

Runner-up: From Beyond

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GUILLERMO DEL TORO

I haven’t seen everything by Del Toro, but I thoroughly enjoyed The Devil’s Backbone. It was an amazing little ghost story.

Runner-up: Hellboy

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GEORGE ROMERO

There is no question that Night of the Living Dead is Romero’s greatest film; the trouble is that Dawn of the Dead is every bit as awesome. Folks, we have a tie! Zombies everywhere have Uncle George to thank for their popularity.

Runner-up: Day of the Dead

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BRAD ANDERSON

I loved Session 9 and The Machinist on equal terms; but if I had to choose I’d have to go with the latter based simply on the strength of the performance from Christian Bale. The Machinist is a brilliant film about guilt and how it can affect us so deeply.

Runner-up: Session 9

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WILLIAM FRIEDKIN

William Friedkin

The Exorcist. Nothing else need be said.

Runner-up: The French Connection

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LUCKY MCKEE

Lucky McKee

I choose May as McKee’s best for one simple reason: the deliciously disturbing performance from Angela Bettis. She deserved an Oscar for that movie.

Runner-up: The Woman

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EDUARDO SÁNCHEZ

Eduardo Sanchez

It’s going to take Sanchez a long time before he gets out from under the shadow of The Blair Witch Project. He’s been making heavy strides with films like Altered and Lovely Molly. Still, it is the witch who holds sway over all.

Runner-up: Altered

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MARIO BAVA

I’ve only seen one Bava film and that is Black Sunday. I do want to see more.

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LUCIO FULCI

The same goes for Lucio Fulci and Zombie. I know, I know I need to watch more Fulci and Bava.

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SERGIO LEONE

The man who gave us The Man with No Name. It’s hard to pick one great Leone film. A Fistful of Dollars? The Good, the Bad and the Ugly? Once Upon a Time in the West? Once Upon a Time in America? Nope, I just can’t do it.

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There you go; my choices. Some are your choices as well and some are not. Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one and they make the world go ’round.

THE TEXAS “WHAT’S THEIR BEST FILM?” CHAINSAW MASSACRE

Make your choice. What’s their best film?

WILLIAM FRIEDKIN

William Friedkin

GOOD TIMES-1967

THE BIRTHDAY PARTY-1968

THE NIGHT THEY RAIDED MINSKY’S-1968

THE BOYS IN THE BAND-1970

THE FRENCH CONNECTION-1971

THE EXORCIST-1973

SORCERER-1977

THE BRINK’S JOB-1978

CRUISING-1980

DEAL OF THE CENTURY-1983

TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A.-1985

C.A.T. SQUAD (TV)-1986

RAMPAGE-1987

C.A.T. SQUAD: PYTHON WOLF (TV)-1988

THE GUARDIAN-1990

BLUE CHIPS-1994

JADE-1995

12 ANGRY MEN (TV)-1997

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT-2000

THE HUNTED-2003

BUG-2006

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LUCKY MCKEE

Lucky McKee

MAY-2002

THE WOODS-2006

RED-2008

THE WOMAN-2011

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EDUARDO SÁNCHEZ

Eduardo Sánchez

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (w/Daniel Myrick)-1999

ALTERED-2006

SEVENTH MOON-2008

LOVELY MOLLY-2011

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THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: The Beginning

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: The Beginning-United States-2006

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman

Screenplay by Sheldon Turner

Story by Sheldon Turner and David J. Schow

If The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning were a comic book the front cover would prominently feature in bold, bloody red letters HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME! THE ORIGIN OF LEATHERFACE!! The film is the cinematic companion to the 2003 remake and to be honest I feel that it raises the bar a little higher. Of course the story is the same; 2 young couples on the road trip of road trips run headlong into hell and the Hewitt family. This time out the main damsel in distress is Jordana Brewster. Stepping up to the plate and looking every bit as sexy as Jessica Biel did in the remake, Ms. Brewster is sent through the usual shit that scream queens are put through in a Texas Chainsaw movie. Rounding out the travelers are Matt Bomer, Taylor Handley and Diora Baird. On the Hewitt side of the family we are formally introduced to Thomas and Uncle Charlie. You know them better as Sheriff Hoyt and Leatherface. Andrew Bryniarski once again steps into the apron of Leatherface. He may not be Gunnar Hansen, but he’s still pretty damn intimidating. R. Lee Ermey plays the same part he’s played in most films he’s starred in; that of a loudmouth authority figure whose sole purpose in life is to make yours a living, breathing, bloody hell. Oh, and as an extra added bonus we get to see how Monty becomes a double amputee. Good times, kids, good times.

All in all, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is in my humble and twisted opinion a worthy sequel to what I felt was a worthy remake of a classic horror film. It’s not going to make you forget the original, but I don’t think it’s really trying to in the first place.

TRIVIA

During filming, R. Lee Ermey was called away to his mother’s death bed. For the remainder of the time, filming was done around his character.
 
Producers Andrew Form and Bradley Fuller decided not to make a sequel to the 2003 movie. But the fans kept coming to them, asking how the family got that way and wanting to know several unanswered questions in the 2003 version (some of them include how Monty lost both of his legs, to how Sheriff Hoyt lost his front teeth, and how Leatherface got his nickname). And after a meeting with Michael Bay, they let Sheldon Turner write the script for a prequel and they were prepared to make it.
 
First movie to receive Iceland’s 18 rating.
 
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