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NO WONDER THE MONSTERS ARE CHASING YOU: FINE EXAMPLES OF CLEAVAGE IN HORROR MOVIES-A PICTORIAL
Before I begin I would like to say one thing and that is yes I am very aware that this is sexist as hell. I would also like to add that I am just having a little bit of fun. My special thanks goes to Brian at Hard Ticket to Home Video for the idea and for not following through on it himself.
I searched long and hard for these photos, but I’m sure I left a few favorites out. Let me know who needs to be here as well as the movie in which they showed off their *ahem* goods and I will update this page. I will need the name of the actress and the movie they appeared in. No nudity, please.
NO WONDER THE MONSTERS ARE CHASING YOU: FINE EXAMPLES OF CLEAVAGE IN HORROR MOVIES-A PICTORIAL
Kelly Brook in Piranha
Rose McGowan in Planet Terror
Elvira Mistress of the Dark
Jennifer Tilly in Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky
Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn
Monica Belluci in Les pacte des loups aka Brotherhood of the Wolf
Madelaine and Mary Collinson in Twins of Evil
Ingrid Pitt in Countess Dracula
Elena Anaya in Van Helsing
Linda Blair in Hell Night
Jennifer Lawrence in House at the End of the Street
Jennifer Love Hewitt in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Teri Garr in Young Frankenstein
Amber Heard in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
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THE SEMI-DAILY HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY-APRIL 17, 2013
Not necessarily a horror movie; but the quote is too sinister to pass up.
From MARATHON MAN and featuring Sir Laurence Olivier as Christian Szell and Dustin Hoffman as Thomas “Babe” Levy:
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CLASSICS? WHAT CLASSICS?
I have a cold that’s kicking my ass; so I don’t feel like writing a long drawn out post for today. Instead, I have a question that may require a bit of thought from you.
Frankenstein (1931), Dracula (1931) and The Wolf Man (1941) are considered as classics of the horror genre. Of today’s horror films, what three movies do you think will be considered classics in 50 years?
I await your answers.
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AFTER 10 EDITIONS OF “WHAT’S THEIR BEST FILM?”, WRITTEN IN BLOOD WEIGHS IN
Wow, I’ve done ten editions of “What’s Their Best Film?” already. In that time I have received great response from some of my regular and my non-regular commentators. I’m sure that a lot of you have voiced your opinion of not what you thought a particular filmmaker’s best movie was; but listed your favorite film from said director instead. Hey, that’s cool; because in order to accurately give an opinion of a director’s best movie you would have had to have seen every film in their catalog. I love movies, but I will not and cannot watch movies 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There are more important things such as work, supporting a family and figuring out ways to get Honey Boo Boo off the air. Damn what an annoying kid and her equally annoying mother!
So why am I babbling on and on? I shall tell you. In the last ten editions of “WTBF?” it has been you, dear reader, who has voiced your humble opinion. Now it’s my turn to give you my opinion. I will list each director below and I will tell what I think is their best movie or my favorite movie; whatever you want to call it.
Let’s begin:
Is it any surprise that I’m going with Goodfellas for this one? In my opinion it’s the greatest gangster flick ever made.
Runner-up: Taxi Driver
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Most of what Bay puts out is complete shit; but if I had to choose a movie of his to watch I’d go with Armageddon . At least it got the Criterion Collection treatment.
Runner-up: Transformers
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Alfred Hitchcock
Psycho. It’s my favorite “Hitch” film and in my humble opinion it is also his best. The shower scene alone is worth the price of admission.
Runner-up: Rear Window
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STEVEN SPIELBERG
Schlinder’s List. Spielberg may have given us the first summer blockbuster with Jaws; but with Schindler’s List he gave us his first and finest masterpiece. Ralph Fiennes is chilling as Amon Goeth.
Runner-up: Jaws
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Two words: Kill Bill Vols. 1 and 2, Okay, so that’s six words. That’s because these movies rock so hard they blow up two words and turn them into six!
Runner-up: Pulp Fiction
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I loved Magnolia and watch it at least three times every year. There are just so many great performances in this film from Julianne Moore to John C. Reilly. Tom Cruise was robbed of an Oscar for his role as informercial sex guru Frank ‘T.J.’ Mackey.
Runner-up: Boogie Nights
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JOHN CARPENTER
Do you honestly think I would choose anything other than The Thing?
Runner-up: Halloween
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Jeff Goldblum had the role of a lifetime in Cronenberg’s vision of the George Langelaan short story The Fly. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Runner-up: The Dead Zone
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BRIAN DE PALMA
Some might say Carrie, some might say Scarface; I’m going with Blow Out as De Palma’s best. Travolta’s performance is one of the key reasons Tarantino wanted him for Pulp Fiction.
Runner-up: Carrie or Scarface (tie)
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ROBERT ALTMAN
I loved Short Cuts the first time I saw it and every time after that. Fantastic ensemble acting.
Runner-up: M*A*S*H
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ROBERT RODRIGUEZ
Not only is Sin City Rodriguez’ best film; but it is also the single most faithful adaptation of a graphic novel from page to screen that I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s also the movie that once again made a contender out of Mickey Rourke.
Runner-up: From Dusk ’til Dawn
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CLINT EASTWOOD
Unforgiven is one of the greatest westerns ever made. It was directed by Clint Eastwood; who in turn learned a few tricks from one of the greatest filmmakers, Sergio Leone.
Runner-up: Million Dollar Baby or Mystic River (tie)
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SAM RAIMI
This is cheating, but I’m going with the entire Evil Dead trilogy for this one. Who needs Spider-man when you’ve got Ash? Bruce Campbell rocks!!
Runner-up: Spider-man 2
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DARIO ARGENTO
To be honest, I’ve only seen three Argento films: Suspiria, Mother of Tears and Opera. Of the three of those I suppose my choice for his best would be Suspiria. What a creepy and atmospheric film.
Runner-up: Opera
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DARREN ARONOFSKY
I have to go with The Wrestler on this one. I’ve been a fan of the squared circle for quite a long time and it’s the first film to take the subject matter seriously. Mickey Rourke was amazing as Randy “The Ram” Robinson.
Runner-up: Black Swan
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WES CRAVEN
I could be a complete asshole and go totally against the popular choice of A Nightmare on Elm Street as Craven’s best; but that would just be stupid. He gave us Freddy Fucking Krueger with this one, for crying out loud!
Runner-up: The Last House on the Left or Scream (tie)
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TOBE HOOPER
Just as Craven brought usFreddy Krueger with his greatest film A Nightmare on Elm Street; so did Tobe Hooper bring us The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Leatherface 10 years prior. Watch this movie and you’ll think twice about picking up hitchhikers and eating Texas Bar-B-Que.
Runner-up: Poltergeist
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ALEXANDRE AJA
It may seem like a strange choice, but I pick his remake of Wes Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes over High Tension (aka Haute Tension aka Switchblade Romance) as Aja’s best film. It’s close though; both movies are fucking brutal.
Runner-up: High Tension
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ROB ZOMBIE
Some people seem to love Rob Zombie’s films and other people seem to hate his films and his fucking guts. There’s no middle ground. What’s his best film? That’s easy: The Devil’s Rejects.
Runner-up: Halloween
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JOE DANTE
What have I said before? The Howling is the greatest werewolf movie ever made; so the choice here is a no-brainer.
Runner-up: Gremlins
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STUART GORDON
Re-animator, of course. Those of you who disagree can get a job in a sideshow. This film brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘giving head.’
Runner-up: From Beyond
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GUILLERMO DEL TORO
I haven’t seen everything by Del Toro, but I thoroughly enjoyed The Devil’s Backbone. It was an amazing little ghost story.
Runner-up: Hellboy
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GEORGE ROMERO
There is no question that Night of the Living Dead is Romero’s greatest film; the trouble is that Dawn of the Dead is every bit as awesome. Folks, we have a tie! Zombies everywhere have Uncle George to thank for their popularity.
Runner-up: Day of the Dead
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BRAD ANDERSON
I loved Session 9 and The Machinist on equal terms; but if I had to choose I’d have to go with the latter based simply on the strength of the performance from Christian Bale. The Machinist is a brilliant film about guilt and how it can affect us so deeply.
Runner-up: Session 9
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WILLIAM FRIEDKIN
William Friedkin
The Exorcist. Nothing else need be said.
Runner-up: The French Connection
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LUCKY MCKEE
Lucky McKee
I choose May as McKee’s best for one simple reason: the deliciously disturbing performance from Angela Bettis. She deserved an Oscar for that movie.
Runner-up: The Woman
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EDUARDO SÁNCHEZ
Eduardo Sanchez
It’s going to take Sanchez a long time before he gets out from under the shadow of The Blair Witch Project. He’s been making heavy strides with films like Altered and Lovely Molly. Still, it is the witch who holds sway over all.
Runner-up: Altered
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MARIO BAVA
I’ve only seen one Bava film and that is Black Sunday. I do want to see more.
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LUCIO FULCI
The same goes for Lucio Fulci and Zombie. I know, I know I need to watch more Fulci and Bava.
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SERGIO LEONE
The man who gave us The Man with No Name. It’s hard to pick one great Leone film. A Fistful of Dollars? The Good, the Bad and the Ugly? Once Upon a Time in the West? Once Upon a Time in America? Nope, I just can’t do it.
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There you go; my choices. Some are your choices as well and some are not. Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one and they make the world go ’round.
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What’s Their Best Film?: October Frights Edition
For the entire month of October What’s Their Best Film? will feature directors known primarily for their contributions to the horror genre. We begin with two well established fright-makers and another who is notching quite a few films under his belt. As usual I can’t wait to hear from you.
The Last House on the Left-1972
The Fireworks Woman (pseudonym Abe Snake)-1975
The Hills Have Eyes-1977
Stranger in Our House (TV)-1978
Deadly Blessing-1981
Swamp Thing-1982
Invitation to Hell (TV)-1984
The Hills Have Eyes Part II-1984
A Nightmare on Elm Street-1984
Chiller (TV)-1985
Deadly Friend-1986
The Serpent and the Rainbow-1988
Shocker-1989
Night Visions (TV)-1990
The People Under the Stairs-1991
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare-1994
Vampire in Brooklyn-1995
Scream-1996
Scream 2-1997
Music of the Heart-1999
Scream 3-2000
Cursed-2005
Red Eye-2005
My Soul to Take-2010
Scream 4-2011
\
Eggshells-1969
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre-1974
Eaten Alive-1977
Salem’s Lot (TV)-1979
The Funhouse-1981
Poltergeist-1982
Lifeforce-1985
Invaders from Mars-1986
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2-1986
Spontaneous Combustion-1990
I’m Dangerous Tonight (TV)-1990
Night Terrors-1995
The Mangler-1995
The Apartment Complex (TV)-1999
Crocodile-2000
Toolbox Murders-2004
Mortuary-2005
ALEXANDRE AJA
Furia-1999
High Tension-2003
The Hills Have Eyes-2006
Mirrors-2008
Piranha-2010
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What’s Their Best Film?
Okay, so it’s almost 6 in the A.M. I got off work at midnight, spent too much money at Wal-Mart and I have had an over-all crappy day with a few exceptions. So, I do not feel like watching a movie and blogging about it. So, I am going to start something that I hope will become a semi-regular thing on maybe Thursday, maybe Friday nights. It’s called What’s Their Best Film? Here’s how it works:
I will name three directors of various genres, of various eras and all the rest of that stuff and I want your opinion. I want to know what you think is their best film. You can either just give me the title, or you can tell me why. I love hearing from all of you. So, without further adieu I present to you the first three.
2. Michael Bay
I can’t wait to hear from you. Take care and stay scared.
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RABID DOGS
RABID DOGS-Italy-1974
Riccardo Cucciolla as Riccardo
Lea Lander (L) as Maria
Maurice Poli as Dottore
Luigi Montefiori as Trentadue (Thirty-two)
Aldo Caponi as Bisturi
Directed by Mario Bava
Screenplay by Alessandro Parenzo
“Rabid Dogs” is an intense thriller that packs more claustrophobic, sweltering action into 90 minutes than Michael Bay has packed into his entire career. What’s even more amazing is that most of the action takes place within the confines of a small white car filled with three desperate men and their prey; a woman, a man and a sick child in need of medicine. The three men are on the run from the police and their abductees are in the wrong place at the wrong times as they usually are in movies like this.
Mario Bava’s film has been compared to Quentin Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs” and I guess I can understand the comparison. Both films are about the aftermath of a botched robbery/escape attempt, both feature the abduction of innocent(s) and both feature characters that are cruel and without moral foundation. In “Reservoir Dogs” it is the razor wielding Mister Blonde; in “Rabid Dogs” it is Bisturi and Trentadue (Thirty-two). Like the title implies, they are men needing to be put down.
However, the main difference in the two films is the twist. Tarantino lets the audience in on the secret early in the film. With “Rabid Dogs” Bava never once lets us in on the secret and the final scene in the film is a complete surprise. For a director to have that kind of control over a film is a work of genius and it’s no wonder that Bava was compared to Hitchcock throughout much of his career.
“Rabid Dogs” is not an easy film to watch. There are scenes in the film that I hated at first; but then came to realize that they are necessary in conveying the cruelty of the characters. In the end, my final assessment of the film is that if you can find it, watch it.
TRIVIA
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11-11-11
11-11-11-United States/Spain-2011
Timothy Gibbs as Joseph Crone
Michael Landes as Samuel Crone
Wendy Glenn as Sadie
Written and directed by Darren Lynn Bousman
If you weren’t aware of it by now, Darren Lynn Bousman’s fifteen minutes of fame have expired. Of course I must remind you that those minutes were aided by the fact that he directed three sequels of the “Saw” franchise, an already popular yet waning series. So, needless to say, he had a little help with that Warhol-esque time in his life and career.
He’s on his own with “11-11-11″ , a doomsday yawner about a man who had lost his faith, finds coincidence in the titular numbers and then regains a degree of that faith only to be duped by it all in the end. Trust me; I’m not giving away the ending. You can’t give away something that you see coming from a mile off in the distance. Seeing as how most horror films nowadays rely on fast cuts and jump scenes to scare their viewers, Bousman appears to be the anti-jump scene director; as every scene was telegraphed so far ahead that there may as well have been a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen that read “We’re going to try and scare you now.” That and the fact that the hooded figures that make random appearances throughout the film are about as scary as grandpa with no dentures make this film about as exciting as watching snails fornicate.
What really bugs me about “11-11-11″ is that Bousman doesn’t seem to know if he’s making an h0rror movie or a propaganda film for an end-times cult. Either way, by the end of the film the main character regains his faith; whereas the audience loses theirs as soon as it begins. Not their religious faith, mind you, merely their faith in Darren Lynn Bousman.
NO TRIVIA
NO BLOOD DROPS
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PUMPKINHEAD
PUMPKINHEAD-United States-1988
Lance Henriksen as Ed Harley
Matthew Hurley as Billy Harley
John D’Aquino as Joel
Directed by Stan Winston
Poem by Ed Justin
Story by Mark Patrick Carducci, Stan Winston and Richard Weinman
Screenplay Mark Patrick Carducci and Gary Gerani
The last time I saw “Pumpkinhead” was when the film was first released to video. I remember looking forward to the film as it was the directorial debut of SFX wizard Stan Winston and that it starred Lance Henriksen, an actor that I’d grown to like after his roles in “The Terminator” and as the android Bishop in “Aliens.” I also remember being disappointed as I was hoping the film would be gorier than what it turned out to be. It just so happens that I was at that stage in my evolution as a horror film fan where blood and guts won out over acting, direction and storytelling. Despite the titular creature and its penchant for violence, “Pumpkinhead” is ultimately a tale of suspense and revenge that could have been so much better had Winston had a little more experience under his belt as a filmmaker.
Lance Henriksen portrays Ed Harley, a man of the country and a loving single father to his young son Billy. Billy is mortally wounded after being hit by a motorcycle and when the rider and his friends flee the scene, Ed takes revenge the only way he knows how. He calls on an old woman, Haggis; who in turn conjures the demon known as Pumpkinhead in order to seek out and destroy the ones who killed his child. Pretty soon the demon is hot on their heels and fulfilling his part of the bargain. But Ed soon finds out that vengeance comes with a price tag much too powerful to pay.
The best thing about the film was Winston’s choice in casting Lance Henriksen in the lead role. Henriksen is an actor who has a strong command of the characters he portrays and in the humble opinion of this reviewer he is one of the most underrated actors in the business. That’s okay; horror fans have known for years how good the man is. It’s the rest of the world that needs to catch up.
So, many years later and a little bit wiser, I have come to enjoy “Pumpkinhead” for what it is; a suspense film in horror film clothing. It’s not perfect. Hell, sometimes it’s not even good. But it does what it sets out to do; it entertains while at the same time scaring the hell out of us.
TRIVIA
This film, orphaned by the bankruptcy of De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, eventually garnered a spotty release when acquired by United Artists, which tested the film under the alternate title Vengeance – The Demon.
The one scene that made Lance Henriksen most want to take the role was where the deceased Billy sits up and asks his father what he’s done.
Film debut of Mayim Bialik.
Screenwriters Mark Patrick Carducci and Gary Gerani were inspired by the horror movies of Mario Bava.
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- Peter Pumpkinhead (spaninquis.wordpress.com)
- The Howling Leopard Downloads (cbeomyd.typepad.com)
- Kosmos – review (guardian.co.uk)
- Horror Movie Freak Author Don Sumner Presents the Horror Movies to Watch Over the 10 Days to Halloween (prweb.com)
- What if Where’s Waldo went on a killing spree? Behold, Where’s Jason! [This Is Awesome] (io9.com)
- Peace at Last (neatorama.com)
- Exclusive Images: Real Life Haunting at the Center of The House at the End of the Drive (dreadcentral.com)
- First Look at the Ragin’ Cajun Monstrosity Known as the Rugaru (dreadcentral.com)
- Nightmare Hour By R.L. Stine (ramblingsofabookaholic.wordpress.com)
- Film Review: Prometheus (cashierdecinema.com)
100,000 Thank You’s!
Thank you to Nathanael and Mollie Munn for giving me the opportunity to write reviews for their great magazine Arcanum Axiom. The two of you have been great friends ever since I got to know you.
Thank you to writer/director Eduardo Sanchez (Lovely Molly, The Blair Witch Project), author Brian Easton (The Autobiography of a Werewolf Hunter), actress Dee Wallace (The Howling, Cujo), director Christina Raia (Summit), actress Tuesday Knight (A Nightmare on Elm Street IV) and founder Joe Ripple (Scares That Care) for granting me some awesome interviews and for being patient with a guy who’s new to all this and was winging it every step of the way.
Thank you if you liked me on facebook, mentioned me on twitter, dugg me on digg, read me on reddit, linked me on linkedin or did any of those odd sounding things that people do on social networks with funny names.
Thank you to the following people who have chosen to follow Written in Blood via e-mail or subscription. The list below is their user names; each one of which has a link to their respective blogs or websites. Click on them; they are all great and they all have something for everyone whatever your interest may be.
cookiemomma-Cookemomma’s Blog
LOstnWOnderland-LOstnWOnderland
TheBruce-Night Train to ¡Mundo Terrible!
cmoneyspinner-Google+ profile
Tysoncarter-Head in a Vice
Marc Winger-Marc Winger
Coco J. Ginger-Coco J. Ginger Says
Iverawrites-Iverawrites
thistoday-This Today
krantostudijos-krantostudijos
beautybystyle-Beautybystyle
Creature with the Atom Brain-Creature with the Atom Brain
tumultuousjourney-tumultousjourney
Bias the Black-biastheblack
chyrondave-My Two Cents
Derek-It’s Latin For Cookies!
Tim The Film Guy-Tim’s Film Reviews
Shimky-Wonderful Cinema
Cinephile Ignoramus-marked private by user
youjivinmeturkey-”You Jivin’ Me, Turkey?”
djpekky-no blog address listed
justwilliam1959-no blog address listed
greencarbon2112-greencarbon2112
AndyK-no blog address listed
claratsi-ClaratsiMovieBlog
Wednesday’s Child-Deep Red Rum
annawalls-Anna’s Philosphy
Best Horror Movies-Best Horror Movies
aliviachingu-aliviachingu
foodiespinster-Spinster Foodie
aaronebrown-the Budding Journalist blog
IRWAN NOVIANTO-oneputri
ladyromp-LafyRomp
tashtoo-~The Tashtoo Parlour~
Love Your Movies-No longer available
Mike-Badasses, Boobs and Body Counts
ღDreams☆of☆Shadowღ -ღDreams☆of☆Shadowღ
AndyWatchesMovies-Andy Watches Movies
Aloha Mister Hand-Aloha Mister Hand
colincarman-CINEMAWOLF
cannon_lab-no blog address listed
moviegarden-no longer available
iswandie78-allfree7396
ooa revo-ooamerica: ooa’s USA Road Trip
The Seemingly Omnipotent Scroo Loose-The Legendary Scroo Loose
Lenz Scherer-Blabbercash.com
ediliociclostile -Edilio Ciclostile-I buzz into your head
bonanzaetfils -bonanzaetfils
save22-2SAVE2
fanboytheatre-FANBOY THEATRE-FAN FILMS & REVIEWS
baddestblogger-Baddestblogger’s Blog
williamcookwriter-BLOOD RELATED by William Cook
adambellotto-Eat. Sleep, Television
Loup L’Orange-Simple Terrors
jeanpaullefrey-you know who you are 
SLAPAHOE-!SLAP A HOE!
ariefz75 -My blog collection arts design individu
weareliterarycritics-weareliterarycritics
alexlaybourne-Official Site of Alex Laybourne-Author
SoniaRumzi-Sonia Rumzi
belchdini-stabs in the dark
onlinehitchhiker-MEMEOPINIONS
Real Fiction Studios-realfictionstudios
Athena-Athena’s Advice
kurtivanyu-Authorized Access Only-Rubbish thoughts of Mr. Yu
dawnwylder-Love is worth the fall
anatheimp-Ana the Imp
Adriene (Sweepy Jean)-Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World 4.7
Abiel Disciple-page not found
So, why am I thanking all these people and listing all these blogs and websites and the like? Well, there is a very simple answer for that question. As of June 14, 2012 my blog Written in Blood surpassed the 100,000 page view mark. For a guy who started this blog in November of 2010 and who never expected to even reach a thousand page views the feeling of achievement I have is awesome. However, the feeling of gratitude is even more awesome. Thanks to each and every one of you who stopped by, even if it was only for a split second. Thank you, thank you and here’s to the next 100,ooo!!
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