Apologies from NFL, NBC after M.I.A. flips the bird

Look on the bright side, guys; not a nipple in sight. As for M.I.A. and her impromptu career starter, you have to have one before you can start one. M.I.A. =appropriate name.

Gisele heard dissing Brady’s teammates

Hi, my name’s Gisele Bundtcake. I’m a supermodel. I carry a bus and I know how to use it.

Singer Randy Travis arrested on public intoxication charge in Texas

At last! Now we know why there were three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway. Mystery solved.

Karl Lagerfield: “Adele is too fat.”

Last I heard, Mr. Lagerfield, is that you sing with your vocal cords, not your love handles. What a dumbass.

Nick Carter skips sister Leslie Carter‘s funeral for scheduled concert

It’s nice to see that someone has their priorities in order.

KID ROCK ‘Made in Detroit’ T-Shirts aren’t made in Detroit

My concern is when is he going to grow up? He’s been Kid Rock for ages. He should at least be Young Adult Rock by now.

Kelly Clarkson nails the National Anthem at the Super Bowl

My wife told me I couldn’t use the words ‘nail’ and Kelly Clarkson in the same sentence. So I’m not.

Norway mass killer demands medal at court hearing

Sure, you can have a medal. Which testicle do you want it pinned to?

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter sled with their kids

Just wait until the kids find out that mom tried to kill Harry Potter. Oh, it’s gonna be on.

Clooney’s girlfriend shows off killer legs

It’s taken the mainstream this long to know what wrestling fans have known for years; Stacy Kiebler is a knock-out!

Take care and stay scared everybody!!