RED RIDING HOOD-United States/Canada-2011
Directed by Catherine Hardwicke
Written by David Johnson
My coverage of werewolf films continues with Red Riding Hood, the latest ‘effort’ from Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. Now, I don’t want to start a war with Team Edward or Team Jacob, but I’ve never seen Twilight and I really don’t want to. The whole idea of vampires that sparkle and play softball just goes against my beliefs as a horror fan.
Then there’s Red Riding Hood. This film goes to show that having a weakness for werewolf films can sometimes be a bad thing. The whole thing feels like a bad music video from the 1980’s. I kept expecting Men Without Hats to come prancing across the screen to sing ‘Safety Dance”. Also, for a village that’s living on hard times at the edge of forest, most everyone there has beautifully coiffed and styled hair and clothes. My guess is that their stylist is the same one that did Pa Ingalls hair all those years ago on “Little House on the Prairie”.
The story line revolves around Valerie (Amanda Seyfried, Gone). Valerie loves Peter (Shiloh Fernandez, Deadgirl), but her family has already picked out Henry (Max Irons, Dorian Gray) as the man to marry her. There’s Gary Oldman as scenery chewing priest who’s come to hunt the beast and Lukas Haas as a scenery chewing priest who can’t stop kissing Gary Oldman’s ass. Oh, yeah, there’s a werewolf, too. Trust me; I just saved you from ninety minutes of torture with that synopsis. Although I am sure that I will hear some negative feedback for it.
It is my humble opinion that if Catherine Hardwicke makes another movie like this that we will be able to brand her as the Antichrist of horror. For a great werewolf film see The Howling, An American Werewolf in London, Ginger Snaps or Dog Soldiers. Red Riding Hood is the dump that the beast took in the forest.
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