SCREAM OF THE BANSHEEUnited States-Made for TV-2011

Laura Holly as Professor Isla Whelan

Directed by Steven C. Miller

Written by Anthony C. Ferrante

Story by Anthony C. Ferrante and Jacob Hair

BAD MOVIE!! BAD MOVIE!! Sorry, I had to smack this one on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. The damn thing pissed all over my carpet. I guess that’s what I get when I watch a movie with the SyFy label on it. Fucking trickster; it had the After Dark label on it, too. That’s what made me give it a chance. It’s like George Bush said: After Dark kind of good, SyFy very bad.

A bunch of Irish Knights from the 12th century trap a banshee and a group of dumbass archaeological students and their professor let it loose in this piece of shit movie. After they let it loose they have to figure out how to trap it. That’s the whole damn plot of this movie. This thing is so bad my mind began to wander all over the place. Scream of the Banshee is directed by Steven C. Miller so I thought Steve Miller and was hoping they would play ‘Jet Airliner’ or maybe ‘The Joker’ in the movie. I see Lauren Holly and start thinking about the very first time I saw her on Picket Fences. She was wearing a black bikini and bringing chocolate cake in a dream to the sheriff’s son. That memory caused an odd side effect that I will not go into further detail about. Oh, look, Lance Henriksen is in this movie. The DVD box says “Lauren Holly and Lance Henriksen”; so you would think he would be in the damn movie for more than five minutes.

The banshee looks like the Wicked Witch of the West after somebody dropped a giant box of oatmeal on her head. Yes folks, it is official; this movie sucks worse than a Kardashian on date night. Who said that? I said that!