FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE TRAILER PARK: DAYLIGHT’S END

Synopsis: Years after a mysterious plague has devastated the planet and turned most of humanity into blood-hungry creatures, a rogue drifter on a vengeful hunt stumbles across a band of survivors in an abandoned police station and reluctantly agrees to try to help them defend themselves and escape to the sanctuary they so desperately need.

All you have to say is “starring Lance Henriksen” and you have my attention. Directed by William Kaufman and written by Chad Law, Daylight’s End also stars Johnny Strong, Krzysztof Soszynski, Louis Mandylor, Gary Cairns and others. The film began a 20 city run on August 26th and for more info you can check out the official Facebook page. Of course as always you can check out the trailer ↓.

FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE TRAILER PARK: MONDAY AT 11:01 AM

Synopsis:  “Monday At 11:01 A.M.” is a suspense thriller starring Charles Agron as Michael and Lauren Shaw as Jenny, a young couple who find themselves in a beautiful yet eerie mountain town where everyone seems strangely familiar. While Jenny busies herself in the small antique shops – Michael wanders into the local watering hole. The bartender (Lance Henriksen) dares Michael to check out Olivia (Briana Evigan),a sultry brunette in the corner.

After a drink, Michael takes him up on the offer and moves to sit next to her. The two begin an ominous flirtation with Olivia slipping him her phone number. Michael and Jenny decide to stay overnight at the dimly lit and aging hotel. During the night Michael is jolted out of bed when he hears frantic screams from another room. When he calls the front desk for help, he is met with cold indifference. No one believes him including Jenny. As his hallucinations become more real through a series of horrific events, Michael finds himself desperately trying to walk the line between reality and the terror that awaits him.

I may missing the mark completely with my assessment of Monday at 11:01 AM ( and I am certain that somebody is sure to let me know) but I got a sort of The Shining meets “Hotel California” vibe out of this trailer. Directed by Harvey Lowry and written by Charles Agron, the film stars Agron, Lauren Shaw, Briana Evigan and Lance Henriksen. There’s no official release date but you can get more info on the official Facebook page and official Monday at 11:01 AM website. Until then please feel free to check out the official trailer and poster below.

Monday-Poster

PRIME SUNDAY: STUNG

This will be a semi-regular post in which I write, praise, bitch, gripe, piss and moan about the latest movie I watched on Amazon Prime. Any likes, reblogs or comments are appreciated; cash is doubly appreciated. 

Prime synopsis: A swanky garden party turns into a nightmare when giant killer wasps attack in this blood-splattered horror comedy.

Starring Matt O’Leary, Jessica Cook, Clifton Collins Jr. and Lance Henriksen.

Written by Adam Aresty

Directed by Benny Diez

What I liked: Stung is pure creepy-crawly fun from beginning to end. The film is played straight down the middle of LET’S MAKE THEIR SKIN CRAWL Avenue and TONGUE PLANTED FIRMLY IN CHEEK Boulevard. The acting and chemistry from leads O’Leary and Cook are convincing and their chemistry satisfying. The effects are top rate for an independent film and I loved how the wasps took on characteristics of the humans/animals that they infested in Alienesque fashion.

The supporting actors are nothing to spray a can of Raid at either as Lance Henriksen and Clifton Collins, Jr. spend their time onscreen vying for the Best Scenery Chewer Award. Henriksen is always a joy to behold. I don’t know how many years the man has in him but when he dies it will be like losing a national treasure. As for Collins Jr. he pounds out movie after movie and TV show after TV show and continues to remain  reliable. Stung is much the richer for having these two in supporting roles.

What I didn’t like: Not very much; my biggest gripe was when O’Leary, Cook, Collins Jr. and Henriksen hide out from the wasps in the basement thereby killing any momentum the film has. It doesn’t last long, thank to Collins Jr.

What did I learn from this movie?: I used to deliver pizza for Domino’s many years ago and I can honestly and accurately say that the wealthy are notoriously bad tippers. I learned that I had no problem watching them get stung by giant mutant wasps with 12 inch stingers. It was actually kind of fun, thank you very much. Stung isn’t going to win any awards; that doesn’t mean it’s not an itchy, creepy and funny good time.

stung_xxlg

 

 

SIN REAPER

SIN REAPER-Germany-90 Mins. 2012

Sin Reaper Poster

Helen Mutch as Samantha Walker in Sin Reaper

Helen Mutch as Samantha Walker in Sin Reaper

Lance Henriksen as Dr. Douglas Hoffman in Sin Reaper

Lance Henriksen as Dr. Douglas Hoffman in Sin Reaper

Hazuki Kato as Jenny Kaylin in Sin Reaper

Hazuki Kato as Jenny Kaylin in Sin Reaper

Directed by Sebastian Bartolitius

Written by Matthias Haag, Manuel Johnen, Nico Sentner

Ever since she was a child, Samantha Walker has had a recurring nightmare: she is a woman in an ancient monastery who is brutally murdered by a figure wearing a burlap sack as a mask. She sketches what she remembers and, with the aid of her psychiatrist Dr. Hoffman, discovers that the monastery exists. Traveling there to find answers to her dreams she meets new allies in Sasha, Melanie, Matthew and Jenny. She is stalked by a being known only as Sin Reaper; who eradicates sin by murdering those responsible, i.e. everybody; and who also holds the key to the connection between Samantha’s nightmares and the real world.

There are only two things that I liked about this movie. One would be the mask that the Sin Reaper wears and the cross mace that he wields. The rest of the costume is boring as hell but if you were to combine the two items with something a bit more exciting you could have the makings of an awesome cosplay. The other thing I liked was the beginning credits animation; even if it did look a little cheesy in places. That sums it up for any positive qualities I can accredit to this movie.

From start to finish, Sin Reaper is an absolute mess of a movie. The production values are lousy on every level. The editing is so choppy that it’s nearly impossible to coherently follow the story-line; there are flashback scenes that are filmed in the same lighting as scenes in the present time, making it difficult to distinguish between the two. The acting is so bad that I could imagine that the director, writers and producers went home at night, drank themselves into oblivion and/or cried themselves to sleep. Helen Mutch as Samantha has the range of a stale loaf of bread. Lance Henriksen as Dr. Hoffman has starred in so many Z-movies that he could use ‘Slumming It’ as a film credit. Of course it is always good to see him; however he brings nothing of value to the movie. Also, I couldn’t understand anything that Hazuki Kato was saying. I swear that at one point she says, “No ferking way.” What the ferk?

There is a certain pain to watching a bad movie and with Sin Reaper that pain has been taken to an entirely new level. I remember seeing a movie in 1994 entitled Gore Whore, about a re-animated prostitute. That movie made me feel like I was sliding down a razor blade naked into a tub of piranhas. I felt the same way as I was watching Sin Reaper; the only difference being that now the piranhas sparkled like Edward Cullen from Twilight.

NO TRIVIA

0 Blood Drops

Helen Mutch also appears in Lycanthropy and You’re Fired.

Lance Henriksen also appears in House at the End of the Drive and Gingerclown.

Hazuki Kato also appears in Shi and The Forest (aka Forest of the Living Dead).

THE SEMI-DAILY HORROR MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY-JUNE 17, 2013

From NEAR DARK featuring Adrian Pasdar as Caleb Colton and Lance Henriksen (pictured) as Jesse Hooker:

capture-20130617-044338

Caleb:How old are you?

Jesse: Let’s put it this way: I fought for the South.

Caleb: South?

Jesse: We lost.

ABOMINABLE

ABOMINABLE-United States-2006

Matt McCoy as Preston Rogers

Haley Joel as Amanda

Jeffrey Combs as Clerk

Dee Wallace-Stone as Ethel Hoss and Rex Linn as Farmer Hoss

Lance Henriksen as Ziegler Dane

Paul Gleason as Sheriff Halderman

Directed by Ryan Schifrin

Story by Ryan Schifrin and James Morrison

Written by Ryan Schifrin

Last week there was a video article on Yahoo about a couple of people filming what they thought was a black bear foraging in the bushes. Then the bear stood up and it (allegedly) turned out to be a Sasquatch and the rest of the video is a lot of shaky camera work because the people are running scared and trying not to crap their drawers. I don’t know how true all this is but it got me to thinking; if Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as he is often referred to actually does exist then he has got one hell of a sense of humor. How else do you explain all the shaky videos where some yokel is filming some god-awful looking forest video for God knows what reason only to have a Bigfoot enter the scene and send them running like…like…well crap, I got nothing. But you know what I mean. I guarantee you that before that Sasquatch enters camera range he’s there with his buddies going, “Hey, guys, don’t look now but there’s another one. Ya’ll watch this. This is going to be good.”

Alright, I told you that little tale as a lead in to my review to the latest (it was released in 2006 and if there’s any newer ones after that I don’t know about them) Bigfoot movie extravaganza Abominable. It’s my way of saying that I didn’t take this movie seriously and neither should you. But, I will tell you this much; in the not so long list of Bigfoot movies it offers quite a few scares, is a lot of fun and may very well be the best of the bunch.

Preston Rogers (Matt McCoy, L.A. Confidential, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle) returns to the woods with his therapist as a form of rehab to help him get over the death of his wife in a climbing accident that left him a quadriplegic. It’s also a way to get a little rest and relaxation and it doesn’t hurt that soon after Preston moves in a group of hot young college babes led by Haley Joel (Crash Landing) and the perpetually naked Tiffany Shepis (Nightmare Man, Night of the Demons). But of course poor old Preston starts hearing things in the forest just outside his window and the next thing you know there’s a Bigfoot looking back at him. Now the rest of film deals with Preston trying to save the girls and get out of Dodge before Bigfoot chews them up and spits them out and makes Preston his personal bitch. Good times!!

As I mentioned earlier Abominable is just a whole lot of scary fun. There never seems to be a moment in the film where you felt that director Ryan Schifrin (son of composer Lalo Schifrin) is trying to say ‘Please, we are making a serious movie here,” The guy’s even smart enough to pepper the film with popular genre actors Jeffrey Combs (Re-animator), Lance Henriksen (Pumpkinhead) and Dee Wallace-Stone (The Howling). He’s also smart enough to actually let us get a look at the titular beast. Then again, there also lies the problem. The creature in Abominable is scary in medium shots or quick close-ups; but too much examination and we see that it looks like what would happen if Clint Howard had drunk sex with a Sasquatch and this was the result nine months later. I just hope Clint respected the lady Sasquatch in the morning. Anyway, I’m digressing here. Check out Abominable for some damn good scary Bigfoot and naked Tiffany Shepis fun.

TRIVIA

Sheriff Halderman (Paul Gleason) is seen taking a sip from a mug with the quote “Don’t mess with the bull”. Paul Gleason’s famous character of Principal Richard Vernon from The Breakfast Club (and reprised in Not Another Teen Movie) has a line “Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns” as he’s reprimanding John Bender (Judd Nelson).

Tiffany Shepis was pregnant when she acted in this film.

Rex Linn agreed to act in the movie under the condition that he got to play the monster in one scene.

The director’s father composed the musical score.

ALIEN³

ALIEN³-United States-1992

Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley

Charles S. Dutton as Dillon

Charles Dance as Clemens

Directed by David Fincher

Story by Vincent Ward

Screenplay by David Giler, Walter Hill and Larry Ferguson

Based on characters created by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett

Do you want to know what it was that doomed Alien³ from the start? It was the fact that it was neither Alien nor Aliens. Seriously speaking, how could you even hope to compete with two of the most perfect blends of science fiction and horror and action and adventure that the cinema has ever seen? Director David Fincher (Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) should not be vilified for what could only in oxymoronic terms be called a successful failure; he should be applauded for attempting it in the first place. Add the fact that there seemed to be enough screenplays and story treatments to make twenty movies; and Fincher meeting with resistance from all sides and it’s a miracle Alien³ was even made in the first place.

After escaping an angry alien queen and an exploding LV-246 (Acheron); Ripley, Hicks, Newt and the android Bishop crash land on Fiorina “Fury” 161, a correctional planet that once housed thousands of Double Y chromosome maximum risk prisoners. Now it’s the home for 22 inmates and 3 custodians and a disgraced doctor (Charles Dance, A Game of Thrones, and Underworld: Awakening). Hicks and Newt are killed in the crash and Bishop is reduced to the kind of crap that you’d buy at your local Radio Shack. Ripley is taken in, reluctantly, by the   inmates, who haven’t seen a woman in years, much less been with one.

Now here is where I remind you that the title of this movie is Alien³. So before these horny, deprived bastards can go all Ron Jeremy on Miss Ripley, they have to contend with the mean and speedy xenomorph that’s stalking and killing them after impregnating a dog and bursting from its abdomen. Might I also add that facehugger (alien) and canine (dog) were never properly introduced and neither flowers nor kibble were exchanged? So now the remainder of the film is Ripley and the stooges trying to not only kill the nasty beast before it kills them, but staying alive long enough for a rescue ship to arrive and make like a giant box of Calgon.

Alien³ is not the horrible motion picture that it’s been made out to be for all these years. There are some unnecessary scenes, i.e. the love scene between Dr. Clemens (Dance) and Ripley (Sigourney Weaver, Aliens, Avatar). It is a well-acted little film that tries, and ultimately fails, to incorporate the elements that made the first two films in the series such a success. Viewed separately, Alien³ is a nifty little sci-fi movie. Alas, instead you have the little Alien film that almost could.

TRIVIA

Multiple proposed scripts caused misleading advertising which implied that the movie would be set on Earth. William Gibson also drafted a script in which Ripley spent most of the film in a coma.

First-time director David Fincher disowned the film, citing constant studio interference and actually walked out of production before editing began.

Early versions of the script and design featured a giant rustic monastery. Also, the alien itself would not be appearing.

The creature that the alien impregnates was originally an ox, but was eventually changed because an ox was cumbersome and was seen as somewhat incongruous when placed in the film’s environment. This sequence was later restored for the extended “Assembly Cut.”

One possible idea for the film included a chest-burster coming out of Michael Biehn‘s character, Hicks. A replica of the actor with his chest torn open was created, but after Biehn discovered this, he threatened to sue the producers for using his likeness without his consent, and the idea was dropped. Later, the producers paid him to use his picture at the beginning of the film for the computer sequence. Apparently he received more money for use of this one image than for his role in Aliens.

One early draft of the script focused almost entirely on Hicks, Bishop and Newt, played in Aliens by Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen and Carrie Henn respectively. The story would tie up loose ends from the preceding film with Newt returning to Earth to live with her grandparents, as well as Hicks and Bishop and a new team of Colonial Marines battling a rival faction of planets who use the Alien as a bio-weapon.

½