EXIT TO HELL-United States-81 Mins. 2013
Directed and Written by Robert Conway
Before I begin this review I just want to remind everyone to vote for the 2014 Written in Blood Scream Queen of the Year. Voting runs for one week. Don’t delay, vote today.
What a hunk of shit that this movie, Exit to Hell, turned out to be. Anyone who knows me knows that if I start a movie review like this then that is exactly what that movie is-shit and nothing else. Tiffany Shepis, one of the most popular Scream Queens of the modern era does a strip tease and gets semi-naked and she can’t save this movie. Kane ‘Effin Jason effin’ Voorhees effin’ Victor effin’ Crowley does what he does best with a sickle and a chainsaw-Home Depot was fresh out of machetes- and he can’t save this movie. It is rancid, putrid and any other word ending in ‘id that means ‘good grief, that sucks.’
There is a plot to Exit to Hell or at least I think there is. Four criminals work a strip joint as a way to case the place before robbing it. Jenna is the Stripper, Tasha the DJ, Randy-I don’t know what Randy is other than a junkie. Anyway, the leader is this little douchebag named Travis and after the four of them rob the strip joint they work at and kill everyone in the place except for one lone stripper, Penny (Rena Riffel), they head out on the lam and end up in a cesspool of a town known as Redstone where they run afoul of Sheriff Sickle (Hodder), a lawman cum serial killer cum leader of a cannibal family. Add to this the fact that the owner of the strip joint, a Russian mobster named Jerkov-er-Yakov-is hot on their trail and you can imagine how things are going to end up for Travis and the rest of the Dumbass gang.
Exit to Hell may have been a little better had it opted for any semblance of originality. I was reminded of quite a few films while watching this one, especially of course The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I enjoyed seeing Kane Hodder and of course Tiffany Shepis as Jenna* was a welcome sight as well. But let’s face it: shit is shit and that’s all it will ever be. If this is the Exit to Hell then there sure are a lot of potholes.
Kane Hodder also appears in Monster and Hatchet.
Tiffany Shepis also appears in Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula and The Maladjusted.
Rena Riffel also appears in Showgirls and Striptease.
*I guarantee you that if there is a stripper in a movie at least 7 times out of 10 her name will be Jenna.